My husband and I have been married for 9 years. I took out a loan of 150,000 yuan behind his back. Now that the demolition payment has come, I have paid it back behind his back. Now I am worried every day.
was afraid that he would ask. In fact, not all of this money was spent on me. From the time we took care of the second child, he made money alone and paid off the mortgage and car loan. The financial pressure was too great, and I didn't dare to ask him for money, so I gradually developed the habit of borrowing online loans.
results out of control. It's been 5 years now and I owe 150,000. Now I can't sleep every day. What should I do? Should I tell him?
I am so afraid of affecting our relationship as husband and wife
Should I tell my husband? If you want it, when will you tell me? It does need to be considered.
borrowed a loan of 150,000. It has been paid back now. The urgency of the matter has passed. It seems that it is okay not to say it, but not saying it will bury hidden dangers.
Let me tell you, yes, it may affect the couple's relationship at this stage.
Then let’s first make the foundation of the relationship between husband and wife more stable and firmer.
What are your two understandings and views on marriage? Did you ever ask him this question?
Marriage is a community, just like starting a company. Both parties agree to enter the community. Jointly operate, jointly maintain, jointly reproduce, influence, penetrate and support each other to cope with all kinds of storms in life and reality.
I have been married for nine years, which is not a short time.
has raised a second child, and the foundation of love is also there.
But I feel that there are a lot of things that you have not said. It’s as if it doesn’t exist if you don’t say it.
This is the part you mentioned. When you have a second child, you no longer have a job, and he is the only one making money. The pressure he faced at this time was indeed considerable, as he had to repay his mortgage and car loan.
Yes, raising a second child requires money. How much is a reasonable amount of money to spend? You have not communicated, and you have not calculated. It seems that the finances in the family are not very clear.
This 150,000 loan cannot be obtained in one day. This 150,000 loan existed for some time. It seems that he has his accounts and you have yours. Even when you are not working, he is not too clear about your expenses, nor does he care too much. Did you not tell him, or did you not have this part of the interaction at all?
You said you didn’t dare to ask him for money, why didn’t you? What's the reason for not daring?
Now that this part has been solved, only then can we establish a real, frank, and communicable relationship, and only then can we talk about maintaining the relationship between husband and wife.
If you want it, you must not get it? Well, I don’t think what you said necessarily destroyed the relationship between you and your husband, it just opened up the things that were previously covered up.
is available but not available. So if you want to live, what should you do? Hasn't he thought about it? How do you communicate and interact with each other? Isn’t it normal for you to take out a loan at this time? Now that you have paid off the loan, this is normal.
can't, for fear of increasing his psychological burden.
If this is the case, you are carrying too much. Thankfully, this matter has been resolved. During this process, you were considerate of him, understood him, and understood him. It would be great if you reported this account. He would still feel apologetic after knowing all this. It has made you carry so much and made you fearful for so many years.
How should he and I live next? How should we build a marriage community between the two of us?
Now that the demolition money has come down, who does this demolition money belong to? It's yours. Or do you think they are a couple?
Take this opportunity to sort out the communication and interaction problems between husband and wife, and formulate good rules to ensure that you can maintain your marriage and protect the lives of you and your children,
