Yishu wrote in " My First Half of Life ": Why people want to get married is not because life is not easy and they need to find someone to share the same boat.
It is human nature to seek profit. Whether a man or a woman, they will first consider their own interests when doing anything. Only if this thing is profitable for you and the reward is worth your efforts, will you be willing to do it and pay for it. The same is true for marriage.
If this is you, after getting married and starting a family, you find that not only are you unhappy, but you are also more stressed, you often quarrel, and you are wronged. It is much more difficult than when you were single. Do you still have the courage and confidence to continue living? If you have worked hard, want to improve, and want to make your marriage go in a good direction, but the other person only cares about his own interests and does not care at all, benefiting himself at the expense of others, are you still willing to give him another chance?
Regarding marriage, " 33 Days of Broken Love " said: "People in our era treat marriage like a refrigerator. If it breaks, they repair it repeatedly, always thinking about repairing the refrigerator. Unlike your young people today, who always want to replace it if it breaks."
In fact, it is not that young people do not cherish the refrigerator of marriage and want to give up when they encounter problems, but through countless cases and time, young people have understood the principle of stopping losses in time.
If only one part of the refrigerator is broken and the repair cost is not high, it will naturally need to be repaired. There is no need to waste this money. However, if the refrigerator looks okay on the surface, but in fact all the parts are broken and can no longer operate. Repair is equivalent to remodeling, and the cost is no less than replacement. Then, why waste this energy and time?
An epidemic has become a magic mirror. Only when you are sick, when you are tortured by the disease and lose the ability to take care of yourself and need the care of people around you, can you see clearly what kind of face the person you love has and whether he or she is suitable to continue living.
"Divorce? Are you kidding me? I just want you to do some housework? What woman doesn't do housework? You're just pretentious, you have so much to do. We've only been married for a year, don't forget, you were the one who insisted on marrying me if you wanted to live or die."
"Yes, I was blind at the time. I misjudged the wrong person, and I paid the price. I wanted to become a second-married person. "But it's better than continuing to be used as a free nanny by your family of three."
When Gao Ya filed for divorce, Hong Lei didn't take it seriously at all, thinking that Gao Ya was scaring him. It wasn't until he saw the divorce agreement , the household registration book, the marriage certificate, the real estate certificate, etc., that Hong Lei knew that his wife was serious this time.
01.
The marriage between Gao Ya and Hong Lei only lasted for more than a year. As Hong Lei said, it was Gao Ya who insisted on marrying Hong Lei.
During the Chinese New Year last year, Gao Ya took Hong Lei, who had been in love for two years, back to her hometown to meet her parents and wanted to marry Hong Lei. The elegant parents talked to their future son-in-law separately for a while, and then gave their advice not to marry.
"My mother said it one by one, listen to my mother, isn't this a typical mama's boy? If you marry him, you will definitely have to endure hardship."
"He wants to please us, want to show off, and rushes to do housework, but look at this, I have to clean up the whole thing. It doesn't mean that a man has to do work when he goes to the woman's house for the first time, but at least it can be seen that his ability to take care of himself is not good, and he has not done any work. After you get married, housework may be all yours. "
" I asked about future plans, including buying a house. He kept saying that their family had a house, a three-bedroom apartment, which was enough to live in. The house price was too high, so there was no need to buy another one. God, wouldn't it be more troublesome if he lived with his parents again? "
It has to be said that Gao Ya's parents were quite foresighted and had foreseen the problems that might arise in their daughter's marriage. However, when a girl who was raised by pampered parents fell in love, there was nothing that could be done to stop her. Finally, after all the elegant fussing, the parents reluctantly compromised and agreed to the marriage.
02.
When getting married, it was too obvious that Gao Ya would not marry anyone other than Hong Lei, so Hong Lei’s father Her mother was so confident that she not only did not buy a wedding house, but also tried every means to reduce the amount of the bride price. If the offer had not been 60,000 yuan and refused to give up, which angered Gao Ya's mother and insisted not to let her daughter get married, Hong Lei's parents might have been able to realize their dream of marrying their daughter-in-law without spending a penny.
"You will regret it. You will definitely suffer from your parents-in-law who took advantage of you before marriage and did not take you seriously." The mother's words were true to her prophecy, anticipating the elegant life after marriage.
Ever since the two of them got married, Hong Lei has revealed his true face, which is selfishness.
"Aren't there four people at home? I bought four hairy crabs, steamed, one for each person. By the time I finished other things and went to the table to eat, mine had been divided by the three of them, and not a single bite was left for me. This is true every time I eat, as long as my husband loves it My parents-in-law would bring food directly to my husband, and only my husband would eat it. I couldn’t touch a bite. "
Ever since Gao Ya got married, all the housework has been left to Gao Ya. Even though Gao Ya has a job, from 9 to 7, and even has to work overtime, her parents-in-law would rather wait for Gao Ya to come back from get off work to cook than condescend to go to the kitchen.
Not only that, after Gao Ya's wedding, her parents-in-law started to give birth to a baby. Gao Ya was in a critical period for promotion and salary increase, and she had no plans to have a child for the time being. She was only 25 and was not in a hurry. However, her parents-in-law were unyielding and urged her from morning to night. During the recent period, Gao Ya's stomach was not moving, and her words became increasingly ugly, which made Gao Ya feel furious.
03.
"He never said a word for me. All he said was to accuse me. He opened his mouth and shut up saying that my mother was doing it for my own good. Nonsense, of course I know that your mother is doing it for your own good, but it is definitely not for my own good. . However, he doesn't care about me at all. After only one year of marriage, I understood that it was all my fault that I was carried away by love. "
Although Gao Ya had thought about the idea of divorce many times, the two had only been married for a year, and Gao Ya could not make up her mind until something happened recently, which made Gao Ya completely heartbroken.
"I decided to end my marriage because I avoided the three members of my husband's family when I came home and brought garbage all over the house. The reason why I married him was because I believed he could make me happy. I didn't want to be a free nanny for their family."
Not long ago, when Gao Ya was at work, she felt her throat was on fire and her body temperature was abnormal. Thinking of missing most of her colleagues, she suspected that she had been infected with the new coronavirus. In order to avoid infecting her family, she sent a message to her husband, and then hid in the house of a good friend who was also infected. The two took care of each other until they recovered.
What Gao Ya didn't expect was that when she was sick, she was still thinking about her husband's family. Not only did her husband not care about her, he didn't come to visit, didn't send some medicine and food, and pretended to be deaf and dumb. Instead, he even prepared a "surprise" for Gao Ya, which was a house full of garbage.
Mountains of dirty clothes, smelly trash cans, and all kinds of takeout boxes were waiting for Gao Ya to clean up. They completely refreshed Gao Ya's understanding of Hong Lei and his parents, and made her determined to stop losses in time.
Hong Lei was noisy and refused to divorce, but after hearing Gao Ya's words "No divorce? Okay, then you will never have children", Hong Lei knew that the matter was irreversible, so he had to scream for Gao Ya to get out, and Gao Ya left without looking back.
04.
Writer Jiang Rong has a description in " Wolf Totem ": The locals will set up a powerful trap on the grass, which can firmly clamp the legs of the beast, but they rarely catch wolves.
It’s not that they are smart, but that the wolf will bite off its own legs as soon as it is caught. But other beasts keep howling to attract hunters and become prey.
The scariest thing is never making mistakes, but not knowing where you went wrong, refusing to admit it when you are clearly wrong, and being obsessed with making mistakes again and again.
If you know how to stop losses in time and look back in time when you find out that you are wrong, you will have a chance to get your life back from the wrong path. Otherwise, not even gods can save you from self-destruction.
END.
Today’s topic: Do you have any good advice for Gao Ya? Feel free to share your views in the comment area.
