(waiting) Let me tell you what men usually think about when they are violent:
1. I don’t want to talk to you at all. There are more important and interesting things for me to do now.
2. You are a bit clingy and annoying. I want to have my own space.
3. I’m tired of being together. It feels like this is not what I want.
4. Recently you have done something that really annoys me and makes me jealous. So I'm going to punish you
5 for looking for trouble. Lack of love, loss of security, arouse your care.
6. While giving you a cold reply, I am having a lively chat with other girls.
7. I want to break up with you, but I am embarrassed to bring it up. I'm forcing you. Offer it up.
are roughly these types, and most men use several types at the same time when they are violent.
Cold violence is not uncommon with breakups. In a relationship, you may often encounter it.
Many people have also asked about this problem. Men ignore me or often treat me coldly and violently. These are two completely different concepts.
In the former case, it is just a communication problem, and the correct method may not be adopted to deal with it. It hasn't reached the point of breaking up yet. Then many people lost confidence when they saw this situation. Instead, he kept kneeling and licking her, making the relationship worse and worse.
So what is the real cold violence? How to tell?
The expression of cold violence, indifference, alienation, indifference, and disregard. This causes psychological harm to the other party.
The four characteristics of "cold violence", you can use this to judge
1. Not responding to any of your emotions
When violent, girls often have a lot of negative energy, which makes boys ask. If a girl is calm, she will temporarily choose to treat him coldly. But boys are powerless against this kind of feeling. It is best not to deal with it.
is just a treatment for negativity. You treat him in this way, but if he doesn't give you a positive response when you are happy and joyful, it means that you have been subjected to cold violence.
has also consulted a lot about recovery issues, and as long as you give him more security and re-attract him, you can very well win back your ex.
2. I just want to break up.
Cold violence does not mean breaking up, but if a girl can't stand this kind of treatment at this time, she will be forced to break up. Men will play decisively at this time, which means that you are in the midst of cold violence. On the contrary. If you ask for a breakup, but he doesn't agree. There is another problem between you. Of course, if you use breaking up as a test, that's a very stupid way.
If you have broken up, you can continue reading.
3. Sudden cold violence and sudden breakup
There is always a reason for couples to break up. When conflicts arise, boys tend to avoid communication, but this is just a cold treatment. To put it simply, the cold girl spends a few days thinking about what went wrong between the two of them. The real cold violence is without reason or explanation. Some girls will say that only after breaking up or every time they quarrel, he will use cold violence against them.
There is always a reason for a breakup. Just like when there is a conflict, boys tend to avoid some problems because they feel that they cannot be solved. They just think calmly and think about where the problems between the two people are, or they want to calm down their emotions.
But the conflict between the two people was not resolved in time, and they could not reach a consensus for such a long time, so it turned into cold violence. This process is long and has stages.
So what situations are foreshadowed?
The first stage: "Busy" is the most common excuse
Thinking back to when you were in love, no matter how busy a boy is, he will always take time to accompany you. No matter how busy he is, he will reply to your message, and will even tell you in advance when he will be busy. If a person is really busy, he will have time to eat and sleep, and he will definitely say hello to you, but right now he has no news, or he is not willing to have too many interactions with you when he is clearly not busy.
If your relationship is good, he will reply, "I am busy, I have to eat," and he will add a tone of voice. If he is cold and violent, he will only reply, "Eat, busy." No emotion could be seen in his reply. This was the beginning of cold violence.
The second stage: You begin to notice his "coldness"
When you are thinking about whether the other person loves you, in fact, the other person is. In fact, a woman’s sixth sense is very accurate. You can feel various changes in your boyfriend. At this time, you will communicate with the other party, but the communication is often ineffective. Maybe you treat him with a questioning attitude, such as: Why are you always unwilling recently? Do you think you don't love me anymore? Wait, in the face of such doubts, the other party will not do this to you. Instead, they will find various reasons.
I have been really busy with work recently. If you think too much, it may seem that your relationship has eased, but it has not actually solved the problem of cold violence.
The third stage: no longer actively contact you
In this stage, when you call him or send text messages, he will still reply as always. However, the frequency of replies is getting slower and slower. The most critical thing about
is that he will not take the initiative to contact you again.
At this time, you may start to have random thoughts, always thinking "Does he not love me anymore?" and gradually lose yourself. Obviously, you are already in a situation where you want to break up but are reluctant to break up.
The fourth stage: You are forced to take the initiative to break up.
People's endurance is limited. When the other party's cold violence becomes more and more serious, you may. You may break up impulsively, but this kind of breakup may be false. You may be forcing the other party to treat you better or asking the other party to pay more attention to you, but this is a common situation. He may try to retain you, but this retention may only be superficial. You think he still cares about you. In fact, he couldn't bear to say it.
The fifth stage: The relationship eases
After a period of cold violence, he starts to contact you actively and returns to the previous state. The alley of passionate love, but this relationship usually doesn't last long. Soon he starts to be cold and violent towards you and returns to the previous state. This repeated cycle makes you physically and mentally exhausted
The sixth stage, if it gets worse
your relationship will enter the third stage. The other party will suddenly disappear and no longer take the initiative to contact you. He can no longer be contacted. The difference is that the cold violence at this stage is more serious than before. Even if you find him, he will not give you any response. He will try his best to avoid you. In fact, you know in your heart that if a person really loves you, he will not escape. He will always think about being with you, but he may not want to hurt you.
The seventh stage: Your mentality is broken.
After the previous stages, you have been exhausted physically and mentally, you are on the verge of collapse, and you have felt that the other person does not love you, but in this long process, you still cannot let go of the other person.
The eighth stage: You want to say break up.
After experiencing the previous things, you have completely given up. Breaking up is also a relief. I don’t love you that much, but after all, you still have nostalgia for your relationship. You also find that you still love him, but you have to endure the other person’s cold violence. What should you do? At this time, you start to quarrel with the boy, express your dissatisfaction with him, and even do some impulsive things. At one point the situation was beyond control.
So how to recover? It is the most effective!
First, accept it first and then deal with the emotions
After breaking up, you may not be able to accept that the couple who used to be a good couple have now gone their separate ways. It feels like you don’t know anyone and everyone feels so strange. Your previous love. Comparing your attitude with your current attitude, you have a strong sense of contrast, and you also feel that you are very unwilling to accept this relationship, and feel that you were broken up for no reason. Very accepting of myself.
But you can’t accept it, because the breakup is already a fact. You must first deal with your emotions and get your life back on track. Even if the other party is cold and violent towards you, you cannot treat yourself badly.
Second, what is the root of his cold violence?
The other person also suffered a lot of harm during the cold violence. In fact, he did not mean to hurt you. It just has something to do with his personality or his childhood experience. The other party does not know how to deal with it. This other party is like an idiot in the relationship. He does not know how to solve the problem or how to face the problem, and often only produces a negative resistance.
You need to pay attention to whether the other person's family situation and previous love experiences make him insecure, and whether he has an avoidant personality.
Third, seek opportunities and conduct in-depth communication
After you figure out the reason, you can find an opportunity to communicate with the other person and put yourself in the other person's shoes. At this time, you also need to reach an emotional level with him. In order to reach an emotional consensus, you must learn to listen to the other person's inner thoughts, and then you can judge what he is thinking through his body eyes and movements. At the same time, you must make him feel that you and his thoughts are the same. Only by reaching a state of empathy can he feel that you and he are of the same type, and that you can understand him and understand him.
I hope you can be the forerunner and use your own actions to lead him out of cold violence and restore the love between you!
I hope the following excellent answers can help you.
What are the signs that it is impossible for girls to get back together?
How long does it take for most people to get back together after a breakup? What are the prerequisites for successful compounding?
If I really missed it, is it possible to get it back?
How should I win back a girl who has given up?
How I succeeded in ex-boyfriend...recording the complete process
If your relationship is good, he will reply, "I am busy, I have to eat," and he will add a tone of voice. If he is cold and violent, he will only reply, "Eat, busy." No emotion could be seen in his reply. This was the beginning of cold violence.
The second stage: You begin to notice his "coldness"
When you are thinking about whether the other person loves you, in fact, the other person is. In fact, a woman’s sixth sense is very accurate. You can feel various changes in your boyfriend. At this time, you will communicate with the other party, but the communication is often ineffective. Maybe you treat him with a questioning attitude, such as: Why are you always unwilling recently? Do you think you don't love me anymore? Wait, in the face of such doubts, the other party will not do this to you. Instead, they will find various reasons.
I have been really busy with work recently. If you think too much, it may seem that your relationship has eased, but it has not actually solved the problem of cold violence.
The third stage: no longer actively contact you
In this stage, when you call him or send text messages, he will still reply as always. However, the frequency of replies is getting slower and slower. The most critical thing about
is that he will not take the initiative to contact you again.
At this time, you may start to have random thoughts, always thinking "Does he not love me anymore?" and gradually lose yourself. Obviously, you are already in a situation where you want to break up but are reluctant to break up.
The fourth stage: You are forced to take the initiative to break up.
People's endurance is limited. When the other party's cold violence becomes more and more serious, you may. You may break up impulsively, but this kind of breakup may be false. You may be forcing the other party to treat you better or asking the other party to pay more attention to you, but this is a common situation. He may try to retain you, but this retention may only be superficial. You think he still cares about you. In fact, he couldn't bear to say it.
The fifth stage: The relationship eases
After a period of cold violence, he starts to contact you actively and returns to the previous state. The alley of passionate love, but this relationship usually doesn't last long. Soon he starts to be cold and violent towards you and returns to the previous state. This repeated cycle makes you physically and mentally exhausted
The sixth stage, if it gets worse
your relationship will enter the third stage. The other party will suddenly disappear and no longer take the initiative to contact you. He can no longer be contacted. The difference is that the cold violence at this stage is more serious than before. Even if you find him, he will not give you any response. He will try his best to avoid you. In fact, you know in your heart that if a person really loves you, he will not escape. He will always think about being with you, but he may not want to hurt you.
The seventh stage: Your mentality is broken.
After the previous stages, you have been exhausted physically and mentally, you are on the verge of collapse, and you have felt that the other person does not love you, but in this long process, you still cannot let go of the other person.
The eighth stage: You want to say break up.
After experiencing the previous things, you have completely given up. Breaking up is also a relief. I don’t love you that much, but after all, you still have nostalgia for your relationship. You also find that you still love him, but you have to endure the other person’s cold violence. What should you do? At this time, you start to quarrel with the boy, express your dissatisfaction with him, and even do some impulsive things. At one point the situation was beyond control.
So how to recover? It is the most effective!
First, accept it first and then deal with the emotions
After breaking up, you may not be able to accept that the couple who used to be a good couple have now gone their separate ways. It feels like you don’t know anyone and everyone feels so strange. Your previous love. Comparing your attitude with your current attitude, you have a strong sense of contrast, and you also feel that you are very unwilling to accept this relationship, and feel that you were broken up for no reason. Very accepting of myself.
But you can’t accept it, because the breakup is already a fact. You must first deal with your emotions and get your life back on track. Even if the other party is cold and violent towards you, you cannot treat yourself badly.
Second, what is the root of his cold violence?
The other person also suffered a lot of harm during the cold violence. In fact, he did not mean to hurt you. It just has something to do with his personality or his childhood experience. The other party does not know how to deal with it. This other party is like an idiot in the relationship. He does not know how to solve the problem or how to face the problem, and often only produces a negative resistance.
You need to pay attention to whether the other person's family situation and previous love experiences make him insecure, and whether he has an avoidant personality.
Third, seek opportunities and conduct in-depth communication
After you figure out the reason, you can find an opportunity to communicate with the other person and put yourself in the other person's shoes. At this time, you also need to reach an emotional level with him. In order to reach an emotional consensus, you must learn to listen to the other person's inner thoughts, and then you can judge what he is thinking through his body eyes and movements. At the same time, you must make him feel that you and his thoughts are the same. Only by reaching a state of empathy can he feel that you and he are of the same type, and that you can understand him and understand him.
I hope you can be the forerunner and use your own actions to lead him out of cold violence and restore the love between you!
I hope the following excellent answers can help you.
What are the signs that it is impossible for girls to get back together?
How long does it take for most people to get back together after a breakup? What are the prerequisites for successful compounding?
If I really missed it, is it possible to get it back?
How should I win back a girl who has given up?
How I succeeded in ex-boyfriend...recording the complete process
