Hi~ This is Weimeng Xiaoyuan. We will share warm and healing content about personal growth, emotions and concerns. You can come here to have a look when you are tired. I hope that here with you, we can complete each other and grow together.
Text/North View | Picture/"Pumping Heartbeat" & Internet
" It's great to be single, but I still want to suffer the pain of love. "
However, once some people really experience love, it is easy to cry: "I don't believe in love anymore!"
What's even more frightening is that after falling out of love, some people are so impatient that they can't wait to walk out in the next second. It's just that there are some things that can't be rushed.
Su Su is a typical representative of the above. She has a decisive personality. When she wants to fall in love, she will fall in love and break up neatly.
Seeing her getting high, he thought it was refreshing, but he was just pretending: " I just hope to get out quickly with these help. The more Kedi jumped and the more he drank, the more he wanted to cry. What's wrong? "
As a bystander, I believe you may also want to say like me: "What's wrong? You're too anxious." , are eager to forget, are eager to deny, but you forget that the previous experiences are all accumulated bit by bit, how can it be cleared up all at once? "
Regarding the matter of getting over a broken relationship, there is a highly praised answer on Zhihu: " You have read a thousand correct answers, but you still have to wait every second. ”
Think about it, right?
01. Anxious to get out of betrayal
I don’t know why, we all seem to be eager for quick success: Order a takeaway and want it delivered to the door in the next second; watch this The drama, when the fast-forward bar is full, I still feel disgusted that it is so slow; if I like you a little bit, I will say that I love you to the end, and I will say goodbye in the blink of an eye, and the next one will be better...
As time goes by, everyone gets used to it, but at the same time they blame: The pace of society is too fast, it’s really ****! It makes life feel like it's on an accelerator, so fast that it makes people anxious and irritated.
Right, in such a big environment, everyone is being pushed around, so you will inevitably become confused and walk quickly even before your tears are dry.
So you are not happy.
I have a lot of experience in this regard. This time I will talk about the most impressive one.
Two years ago, the "Workplace Werewolf Killing Game" that lasted for almost three years ended. As an honest civilian, he has always regarded werewolves and witches as his own family.
At the beginning, I thought werewolves were good people, but later I discovered that werewolves are only ruthless, not good; At this time, the always smiling witch became sparkling. It was this light that blinded the eyes of the common people.
Later, in order to hunt more civilians, werewolves and witches took action. The werewolf used his force directly, while the witch continued her double-dealing. Finally, the prophet comes out and points out that the witches have been pretending to be civilians and have been poisoning civilians with "poison" at night.
So, I was out.
"I have been sharing the information I have with you, but in the end you turned out to be a witch and gave me the poison in your hand" The sense of betrayal is very shocking.
After that, whenever I saw anyone smiling, I was afraid that she was a werewolf or a witch, and I was also afraid of the workplace.
But my sincerity is also real. While I am scared, I comfort myself: "There are still majority of good people." So, after a short break and the "kind-hearted" urging of everyone, I started the second game again.
This game is more fun. At the beginning, I met the devil directly and was fucked to the hospital.
Standing in front of the hospital payment window with the payment slip, I couldn't help but think of something: In fact, I haven't come out of the last shadow at all! Then he forced himself to step into the darkness again, not only to die but also to be injured.
I also had a minor surgery at that time, and the adverse reactions afterwards were also somewhat painful. But almost no one told me at that time: "Time is also a good medicine to solve problems, so it doesn't matter if you wait."
However, this recklessness also made me grow: sometimes, people still can't be too anxious.
Therefore, it can withstand the bigger blow later.
02. Anxious to accept the loss
These three or four years have been the darkest time in my long life. I finally made it to 2022, but I received another blow in life: my grandpa passed away.
After I rushed back, I felt like everything was broken. When I saw other relatives occasionally smiling, I always looked puzzled: "Why don't they seem so sad? How come they can get out so quickly? Why can't I do it? "
I watched numbly as they were busy. However, all the hard work of pretending to be strong finally fell away the moment he saw his grandfather’s remains. After the ceremony, I turned around and left, hiding and crying - crying that I couldn't hold back my sadness, but they didn't seem sad at all.
was later found: " I have tried very hard to learn to be calm like them, but I can't stop, but I am still so sad. "
Fortunately, this time someone was with me I said: " It's okay, I know you must be sad, because you have been with them since you were a child. Take your time, it can be as long as you like. "
So, this time, I didn't force myself, and I was even prepared to take a long, long time to let go.
Don’t tell me, I felt relaxed after I didn’t force myself to come out quickly.
Later, I became more and more stable because I saw this sentence - Take your time, don't rush to let go of the past, and try to allow "old trauma" and "new experience" to exist at the same time.
03. Don’t worry, you are not behind
Because those times were so dark that I still think about it from time to time: If I had given more time, would I have been able to wait until the day when the sun shines through the cracks?
Of course, we can’t go back to the past, but we can remind ourselves of this more now.
For example, when I go for a run, when I first see someone else running ahead, I won’t be reconciled and will want to overtake them. Or if I run at my own pace and find someone else passing me from behind, I will attack myself for running slowly.
But then I suddenly realized: I am running in my own time zone. I am neither faster nor slower than anyone else, and neither are they.
Furthermore, maybe he turned around after running one kilometer, and I turned around after running two kilometers; or maybe he was running the first trip, and I was already running the third trip. was completely unable to judge based on who was in front and behind at this time, and even attacked himself.
Speaking of this, I can’t help but want to share one of my favorite poems with you:
Whenever I am in a panic or in a hurry, I will ask myself: Are you always in such a hurry, are you rushing to be reincarnated?
Then I read this poem a few more times, and my heart slowly calmed down.
" You want a result too much, so you are anxious, so you are unhappy. You just watered it once, and you hope that the flower will bloom immediately and bloom for you forever.”
When you read this paragraph, do you also understand why people are generally anxious nowadays?
04. Take your time with sincerity
When it comes to slowing down and enjoying life, I saw a favorite word called Relaxation.
I saw it on the Internet. The content was about a netizen whose family was preparing to go on a trip. However, the process did not go very smoothly and there were some accidents. However, the family members were not impatient and came up with a plan like normal people. b. The journey is still the same, the good mood is still the same, and I feel a sense of relaxation.
At that time, I thought the word "relaxation" was awesome! It doesn't mean that you let go of all the pressure and do nothing all day long; it means that you can relax and retract freely.
As a teacher in junior high school said: I hope you study hard when you study and have fun when you play.
When growing up, how many people go to two extremes, either working overtime until they are tired and turning into dogs; or lying down and turning into a salted fish. outside of balance , it will be difficult to be peaceful and happy inside.
It’s the same when it comes back to specific things, such as writing and submission. Some people find it difficult and dare not write, or they write once or twice and find no good results and stop writing. But I don't want to give in, especially when I see other people writing drafts one by one, I feel even more heartbroken.
I completely forgot my original intention of writing in the first place, which was just to clear my mind and be more happy.
I like Yu Shicun teacher said in "The Book of Time": " young people , your job is to level the land, not to worry about time. What you do in March and April will have the answer in August and September. ”
If what you pursue is the brilliance that flashes like a shooting star, then this article should be regarded as reading a fool’s crazy talk.
If you want to have peace of mind and less anxiety. Then allow yourself to slow down, and with sincerity, we will precipitate a more authentic self in time.
and above, please encourage each other.
I am Bei Wang, and I also want to wish you a happy day today.
Also, thank you for always being by my side.
Brother asked: Do you force yourself to hurry up? Welcome to leave a message
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