Being a parent is one of the hardest things in the world. "If you are less than a hundred years old, you will always worry about a thousand years old." This refers to the mentality of a parent, who is always worried about his children.
Before their children start a family, parents have to worry about their children's health, education, and future, plan their children's life paths, and do their best to provide the best conditions for their children; after their children start a family, parents cannot be idle, and they have to help their children raise the next generation, contributing both money and effort.
Being a parent not only requires a lot of financial resources and energy, but also requires constant testing of patience and wisdom.
And this wisdom is to let go when it’s time to let go. After all, children will eventually enter the roles of husband and wife. When their children get married, parents should control their desire to interfere in their children's housework and let their children learn to solve it on their own.
Lao Guo , who has entered his destined year, is a native of Hangzhou. His son Xiao Guo has been married for 5 years and gave birth to a lovely daughter. It is a happy thing to have three generations living under the same roof, but Lao Guo was depressed for a long time. The reason was because his son Xiao Guo was too kind to his daughter-in-law.
Speaking of his daughter-in-law, Lao Guo was very angry.
's daughter-in-law, Xiao Li, is from Qiandao Lake . After being introduced to her son, the two soon fell in love and soon started talking about marriage.
When Xiao Li first got married, he was very polite to his parents-in-law. But after getting along for a long time, Lao Guo gradually noticed the clues: his daughter-in-law is too lazy!
His daughter-in-law had no job when she first got married, so Lao Guo arranged for her to work in his company. This job is relatively leisurely, but my daughter-in-law has to do everything with her son.
Lao Guo watched his son buy breakfast for his daughter-in-law every morning. After her daughter-in-law finished eating, he would send her to work, and then he would come back and entrust his little granddaughter to his wife.
What’s even more outrageous is that when my son comes back from get off work at nine o’clock every night, he has to wash his daughter-in-law’s clothes. The daughter-in-law even throws her underwear to her son to wash!
Seeing that his son was so busy, the distressed Lao Guo quietly found his son and persuaded his son earnestly: "Women should do things like washing clothes. Men only need to take care of their work!"
What Lao Guo didn't expect was that his son not only refused to listen to the advice, but also defended his daughter-in-law in every way, which made Lao Guo feel that his son had changed.
Seeing that his earnest persuasion was ineffective, and the conflicts between his son, daughter-in-law, and himself and his wife deepened day by day, Lao Guo had no choice but to invite an emotional mediator to mediate.
Xiao Guo was noncommittal about his father's statement. He pointed the cause of the conflict to his stepmother;
Xiao Guo said that when his wife first married, the family was indeed very harmonious. His father even treated Xiao Li as his own daughter.
But the stepmother couldn't stand the way his father treated Xiao Li too much. She quarreled with his father many times on excuses, and then ran away from home, as if she would not stop until the family members were upset.
After his stepmother made a big fuss, his father began to avoid Xiao Li deliberately. When the mediator
saw that the father and son were not talking about the same topic at all, he tried to find out the crux of their conflict.
Xiao Guo said that he washed his wife's underwear because she was pregnant and in confinement. Xiao Li, who was clinging closely to Xiao Guo, said: " I am married to my husband, and my husband is good to me. Isn't that how it should be! This is a small matter between the two of us, why should they take care of it!"
Xiao Li felt that his father-in-law was too lenient, but Lao Guo said that his son, daughter-in-law and husband and wife have a good relationship, so naturally they should be happy.
But the son often ignores his and his wife's feelings because of his daughter-in-law, which makes them the most chilling and dissatisfied.
When Xiao Guo was 19 months old, his mother passed away from a brain tumor.
Despite his many efforts, Lao Guo still failed to keep his wife. After his wife passed away, 28-year-old Guo became both a father and a mother, keeping Xiao Guo with him every step of the way.
At the age of 33, Lao Guo met his current wife, Sister Niu. Although she is not Xiao Guo's biological mother, her wife has always regarded Xiao Guo as her own, and the couple devoted all their efforts to Xiao Guo.
Hearing what his father said, Xiao Guo did not agree.He said that the clothes he wore when he was a child were old clothes left to him by other people's older children. He was very envious when he saw other children having pocket money because his father and stepmother never gave him a penny.
After Xiao Guo graduated from university and started working, he handed over all his salary of more than 2,000 to his stepmother for safekeeping.
Even when he got married, he gave all the red envelopes given by relatives and friends and the bride price given by his wife's family to his father.
Xiao Guo thought that he had done everything his son could do, but Lao Guo and Sister Niu suddenly became excited.
The couple accused Xiao Guo of telling lies and having no conscience. Xiao Guo couldn't argue with his parents, so he could only bow his head and remain silent.
Lao Guo said that his son's salary was not given to him voluntarily, but because Xiao Guo was moonlighting at that time, he persuaded his son to leave the salary with him for safekeeping so that he could use it to marry and have children in the future.
Lao Guo said that everything he did was for the good of his son, but his son did not appreciate it at all. On the contrary, my wife and her ex-husband's daughter are more polite to me.
At this time, Sister Niu also began to accuse her daughter-in-law. She said that she didn't get up until three o'clock in the morning every day, and she also slept until three or four o'clock in the afternoon. She wanted to get closer to her daughter-in-law, but her daughter-in-law kept hiding upstairs and refused to come down.
In addition, her daughter-in-law always instructs her son to do various things, which makes her even more disgusted with her daughter-in-law.
But Xiao Li said that if her mother-in-law had not wronged him and his father-in-law before, he would not hide from his mother-in-law.
Sister Niu said that she had never had such suspicions. It was just that she was outspoken and loved to joke. Many times it was her daughter-in-law who was petty.
At this time, Xiao Guo stood up and spoke for his wife. He said that he and his wife have always respected their mother. Every Mother's Day, Women's Day, and major holidays, he and his wife would prepare gifts and red envelopes for their mother. But the stepmother often used chicken feathers as arrows.
Before, Xiao Guo didn’t want to live in a repressive family atmosphere, so he told his stepmother after get off work that sometimes you and your dad didn’t do something right.
When the stepmother heard this, she immediately started crying and rolling on the floor. Lao Guo, who was upstairs, came downstairs and slapped Xiao Guo twice without saying a word.
After all, Lao Guo is his father. At that time, Xiao Guo didn't care about his father and just beat him when he was beaten. But my father was often unreasonable.
Once, when his wife was washing dishes for her daughter, Xiao Guo picked up the trash can to take out the garbage. Lao Guo, who didn't like it, pointed at Xiao Guo and his daughter-in-law and said, "These are women's work, not men's work!"
Seeing that his son did not take his words seriously, Lao Guo was so angry that he snatched the trash can from his son and threw it into the river.
The mediator listened to the words from both sides and pointed out in a sharp voice: " You two, you are jealous when you see your son being nice to your daughter-in-law!"
The mediator began to persuade Mr. and Mrs. Guo: "It is their business for your son to be nice to your daughter-in-law." According to the laws of nature, parents should always go before their children. If your son and daughter-in-law are good, you should be happier. Why do you feel uncomfortable instead?
Lao Guo and Sister Niu said that it was because their son had forgotten his parents after marrying a daughter-in-law. Since the conflict, Xiao Guo and Xiao Li didn't even bother to call their parents.
Xiao Guo said that every time he and his wife quarreled, he and his wife took the initiative to seek peace, but their parents did not want to reconcile. As time went by, they stopped calling them parents.
Xiao Guo believes that the fault lies with his parents.
My stepmother accidentally fell and was injured, and my father has been accompanying her in the hospital. In order to take care of the child more conveniently, Xiao Guo's mother-in-law came to Hangzhou from Qiandao Lake the next day.
When his father and stepmother came back from the hospital, their mother-in-law greeted them warmly, but Lao Guo pretended not to hear them.
Xiao Li was very unhappy when he saw his mother's hot face and cold butt. He hurriedly came out to smooth things over, but his father-in-law and mother-in-law remained cold.
The reason why Lao Guo and Sister Niu were unhappy was because they felt that Xiao Li's mother did not understand etiquette and had not even made a condolence call.
When Xiao Li’s family was in trouble, he and his wife would buy things and visit them as soon as possible.
Xiao Guo explained that because of the epidemic, her mother-in-law was unable to go to the hospital in person, but she asked him about her stepmother's condition every night.
The behavior of his father and stepmother made Xiao Guo very dissatisfied. Xiao Guo stopped paying attention to his stepmother, which made Lao Guo furious.
Xiao Guo felt that his parents were angry because his mother-in-law did not call to greet her. They were really too petty.
But Lao Guo and Sister Niu felt that their son's heart was completely towards their daughter-in-law's family, and this son was really raised in vain. The mediator
believes that these are trivial matters in the family, and the family will not fall out because of these things.
Xiao Guo said that he and his wife have apologized many times. How the family gets along in the future still depends on the attitude of the father as the head of the family.
Lao Guo said that his daughter-in-law talks like a poisonous snake, and she and his son make up random things.
Over the past five years, he has had constant conflicts with his son and daughter-in-law. What made him most angry was the matter of buying a house.
Lao Guo said that he and his son originally agreed to buy a new house and the down payment would be 1.8 million, but he only had 1.5 million in cash, so he asked his son for 300,000 so that he would not have to spend money for financial management.
But Xiao Guo initially agreed to give out 400,000, but later changed his mind and said that he only had 200,000. Lao Guo felt that his son didn't know how to be a good person, so even if he borrowed 100,000 from a friend, it would be fine. After all, the house would be reserved for his son in the future.
But Xiao Guo said that he was the one who proposed buying a house in the first place. After all, the family was not happy living together. But his father and stepmother secretly visited the house and paid a deposit, and then asked him for money at night.
What made him angry was that his father did not discuss buying a house with him at all, and told him that the names of his father and stepmother were written in the house book. In the future, when Xiao Guo and his wife make money, they can buy it by themselves.
Xiao Guo felt that it was completely impossible to buy a house with his salary, but he still took out his bank card and told his father that he had 200,000, but his father refused: there is no need to take out 200,000.
Xiao Guo was angry at his father's backbiting, and Lao Guo felt that his son had initially said he had 400,000 yuan, but later changed his story, and his daughter-in-law must have been the one causing the problem.
Because of the purchase of a house, the relationship between father and son became worse and worse.
Xiao Guo and Xiao Li said that they had apologized countless times, but Sister Niu said excitedly that they had not done anything wrong, so why should they apologize.
When Xiao Li saw her mother-in-law becoming aggressive again, she said that she and her husband also wanted to live a good life, but sometimes her mother-in-law's words were too hurtful.
Her daughter was only 3 years old. One time she hid the TV remote control because she thought it was fun. Her mother-in-law yelled at home: "Some dead person hid the remote control!"
After hearing what her daughter-in-law said, Sister Niu firmly denied that she had said this. The conflict between the
family seemed irreconcilable, so the mediator asked Lao Guo to decide on a harmonious relationship.
Lao Guo said that even if they live in the same house, he and his son and daughter-in-law will eat separately from now on.
There is a saying that "a child cannot grow up without his mother". When children grow up, they will always have their own ideas, especially after they start a family.
It can be seen that Xiao Guo and Xiao Li are very affectionate. With his son and daughter-in-law so harmonious, it stands to reason that Lao Guo should be happy, but he couldn't be happy and even felt very uncomfortable.
Because he felt that his son was biased towards his daughter-in-law and no longer listened to him as before, so he felt a sense of loss and felt that his son had been taken away.
In the end, there was an irreconcilable conflict between father and son.
Every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite. The conflicts in every family are actually caused by the accumulation of countless trivial things.
In the conflict between Lao Guo, Xiao Guo and his daughter-in-law, how can we tell who is at fault more?
