Author: Mo Xiaobei
01: Introduction
We often say: " Filial piety is the first of all virtues ."
But is the "filial piety" here really the same in the eyes of children and parents?
It is true that the action of "filial piety" is worthy of praise, but the "filial piety" in the eyes of children and parents is often different.
In other words, the "filial piety" of many children to the elderly is not what the elderly need.
In fact, this is just like what our parents often said to us when we were young, "It's all for your own good", which is the same truth.
In the eyes of many children, as long as they can provide their parents with a comfortable living environment and make them have no worries about food and clothing when they are old, they are filial.
To be honest, although this is indeed a kind of filial piety in the eyes of many people, this kind of filial piety is not what the elderly want the most.
The "filial piety" that the old man really wants is not actually focused on the generous material conditions, but on the companionship of the soul.
So, the "filial piety" in the eyes of many children now is not what parents really want.
02: The filial piety in the eyes of most children is to provide enough money
Have you noticed that what many children now think of filial piety is to provide enough money to their parents to ensure their material life.
It is true that using material to give back to parents’ old age is also a kind of filial piety, but this way of filial piety is not what parents want the most.
Although material life can allow the elderly to have a peaceful old age and no longer worry about food and clothing, it is even thousands of times better than those who live poor and lonely elderly people.
However, many times, even if children provide their parents with a very generous material life, they still live unhappy.
Why? In fact, the reason is very simple. Material life is just a wealth that can meet the current living conditions, but spiritually, parents have always been scarce.
When we were young, we spent day and night with our parents, and we might not think anything was wrong, but as we got older, we went to another place to take the exam, or stayed in another place for work, and we met our parents almost half a year or once a year.
Whenever this happens, what parents say the most on the other end of the phone is mostly: "Child, when can you come home and see it? Parents miss you."
To be honest, all parents in the world hope that their children can live a happy life, and even in order to realize this dream, they would rather give more.
But when they get old, they will inevitably feel a sense of crisis. At this time, what they need is not how good material life their children can provide, but how company they accompany.
money can buy a lot of things, but can't buy them and wait secretly on their parents.
Ji XianlinMr. He once wrote this sentence for himself that he could not support his parents: "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the son wants to support but the parents are not waiting."
provides a wealth of material life. As long as the children have the ability, they can basically complete it, but this is not what parents want the most. Isn't it?
For the rest of their life, don’t think that giving your parents enough money is to fulfill their filial piety, because what they want most is not money, but company.
03: The filial piety in the eyes of many children is to show others
In life, there is such a type of children who are all filial to their parents.
In their eyes, filial piety to parents can give themselves a good image in the minds of relatives and friends, so they often play "filial sons" and play for relatives and friends. What about
Actually? Such children are not sincerely filial to their parents. They are not only good to their parents, but also have other purposes.
For example, greedy for parents' property.
Don’t think that there are no such people in this world. In fact, as long as you observe carefully, you will find that there are many such children around you.
Especially after getting married, they no longer have the same heart as their parents. Under the instigation of their partners, they will be disgusted with their parents or abandon them in various ways.
But sometimes, they have to maintain a good image in front of their relatives and friends, so they mostly pretend to be good to their parents through interpretation.
For example, I had a colleague before, who often interpreted his image as a "filial son" in front of relatives and friends. He said that he would bring his parents from the countryside to the city to enjoy his happiness with him, but he just said that he had never taken practical action.
Before I moved, there was a neighbor who was also a "filial son of acting skills". In the eyes of his relatives and friends, he was a very hardworking and motivated person. He not only bought a house in the city, but also had a very good job.
Every time I go home to visit my parents, I basically make a big fuss. I either bring imported supplements or give my parents a stack of money.
In the eyes of people who don’t know, he is indeed a true filial son, but in the eyes of his parents, he does not have this filial piety at all. Because all the supplements are expired, the money is stuffed here and his wife is going back there.
I clearly remember that one winter, his father came to the city for medical treatment when he was sick. His family was a three-bedroom apartment, which was said to be able to live there, but he did not let his father live at home, but sent his father to the basement.
In the eyes of him and his wife, filial piety can be performed. If they want them to be filial, it is like taking their lives.
Children like the above, their so-called filial piety are just for others to watch, and they are actually just "scum"!
04: The filial piety that parents want most is actually the company of their children
In fact, the cost of respecting their parents is not high. The way they want is not how comfortable you can provide them with living conditions. What they want most is actually company.
Once upon a time, my definition of "filial piety" was also placed on "money" and material things. Every time I go home to visit my parents, I buy a lot of things and give them money.
However, when I went home again, I saw what I brought before, my parents basically didn't touch me much, and I didn't spend a penny of the money.
For this reason, I also had an upset with my parents and asked them why they "spoiled" my filial piety like this. But my parents said that what they want most is not how much good things I can give them, but what they want most is that I can take more time to accompany them.
, in fact, it really is. I think all parents in the world should be the same as my parents. What they want most is that their children can spend more time with them.
It is true that life pressure is indeed very great now, and the way many children can only be limited to money and material things. Although there are many unscrupulous things, this is not a good excuse.
Because, no matter how busy you are, you can take time as long as you are willing, it is just a question of whether you are willing or not.
Maybe, you would say that you are very far away from home and it takes several days to go back and forth at a time. Even if you can take some time, it will be difficult to go home to visit your parents.
Yes, this reason is very convincing to you, but have you ever thought about taking your parents over and living with you?
Maybe their arrival will put a little burden on your life, but with their company, isn’t it also a kind of healing?
Someone once did a psychological survey. Staying alone by his parents for half an hour is equivalent to 5 psychological healing sessions.
The time on your parents will not wait for you to make a fortune one day. Even if there is such a day, you may ignore accompanying them because of your busy schedule.
So, don’t always make excuses for accompanying your parents. There are always more ways than problems, it depends on whether you want to!
05: Xiaobei's message to
"Filial piety comes first" should not be just an empty slogan or "plot interpretation", but should be sincere practice and companionship.
When we were young, our parents were willing to give everything for us and give everything. When they get old, we should also give back to them in the same way.
We should also set a good example in front of our own children so that we can have someone to accompany our old age.
As mentioned earlier, although there are many problems, there are more ways. As long as you are willing to think of a way, there will always be someone who can accompany your parents.
isn't it?
For the rest of my life, I hope everyone can know the correct way to be filial. Never wait until "the son wants to support his parents but the parents are not waiting" before regretting it!
END
