Inamori Kazuo once said: "Real love is not to change each other, but to correct and perfect each other's ideas and concepts, grow together, and make yourself better than before."
When facing feelings, we always hope that the other party can change for us, thinking that only he is willing to change is a manifestation of love for us.
But let's imagine if you are asked to do things you don't like, accept ideas you don't agree with, and people and things that are definitely not worth it, are you willing to change?
Thinking about it, it is not difficult to find that what love needs most is never change, but management, it is the management of two people together.
Recently read Alan E. Fluzeti's "No More Quarrels". There is a sentence in the book that impressed me: "Whether it is family, friendship or love, a good relationship needs to be managed with care. There is no one-time relationship, no smooth sailing relationship, and all intimate relationships have conflicts and excessive negative emotions."
Really good relationships and truly worthy relationships all require time, energy and self-management, especially between men and women. This kind of business must be mutual.
If only one party is working hard and only one party is spending time, sacrificing himself, and trying his best to do this relationship, it may seem that this relationship is good for the time being, but looking back at the details, it is full of cracks, and such a relationship cannot last for a long time.
Only two people work together, see each other's efforts, feel each other's sincerity, you understand me hardship, you understand my hardship, you understand my difficulties, I respect your opinions, run in with each other, respect each other, and know how to communicate, the relationship will get better and stronger and the relationship will become more and more stable.
Men and women know how to manage your relationship and know how to do these 8 things well. Your relationship will definitely develop in a better and better direction.
1. Will quarrel, but not Cold War
Cold War is the best way to consume feelings, just like our relationship is sick, there is no solution, and we will not cure the disease in the end.
We are inevitably quarreling in love. Quarreling is OK. A truly effective quarrel can help us understand each other better and have a better relationship.
But after we quarreled, neither of us could choose to "cold treatment". If there is a problem, we will solve the problem. Stop dragging it and consuming it will only make the problem more serious, and small problems will extend into big problems.
We can make an agreement that no matter how fierce the quarrel is, no matter which side bows its head, the other side will give the other side a step, and try not to forgive others. The stupidest thing in relationships is to compete for right or wrong and win or lose.
I would rather we quarrel, and you say one word and one word, than you want your back to me, and you don’t say a word, like a stranger.
Every time you quarrel, you will solve a problem. Cherish the opportunity to quarrel, communicate seriously, and solve problems actively. Never lose your temper at will, so that the problem can be expanded.
Cold War to the end, maybe the result is that both of you think that the other party is not suitable for you, and neither of you is willing to face the problem, so you can only break up.
2. Understand each other
The most difficult thing in the world is to understand each other, but because of love, we can try our best to understand each other, and think and love from each other's perspective.
Because I don’t have the same family environment as you, our concept of family is inevitable different;
Because I don’t have the same experience as you, our attitudes towards many things are inevitable;
Because I don’t have the same personality traits as you, so our way of solving problems is inevitable;
Because I don’t have your social circle, so our views on friends are inevitably different;
Because I don’t have the advantages you are proud of and the shortcomings you are shy about, so I can’t help but not think so thoughtful and profound.
But this is the charm of love. We are attracted to each other because of different things. We don’t have to be anxious because of different things. If we want to force each other to change, we just need to try to accept, try to understand each other, and slowly influence each other when necessary, so that they can make more correct choices by themselves.
Two people who understand each other in their relationship have each other in their hearts, and they must be two people who want to have a long relationship with each other.
3. Girls don’t do it, boys don’t do it
There is a saying: "Love is great and can withstand the test of ups and downs, but love is also fragile and cannot withstand the work and waves in ordinary life."
Why do girls do it? They don’t feel enough security.
Why do boys slut? They don’t feel enough love and respect.
people are the same. No one can care about another person 100% for a second, and the same is true for your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Because you love you, you can rely on his love to do things and act like a waste, but small things are pleasant and big things are harmful. And small things must also control the amount, because people will be tired.
We should be clear that a person who truly likes you will not make you uneasy, nor will you be worried about gains and losses in this relationship and fear of losing.
On the contrary, it will not only not give you a erratic feeling, but will also plan your future carefully with you, giving you a full sense of security.
4. Know how to give each other
Two people do not give one side but save and accompany each other. People who care too much often live unhappy.
Whether two people can go far depends on whether you two know how to give each other. If you blindly stare at how much they give, how deep the relationship will come from?
The most important thing in a relationship is that two people work together. One person is too hard and the other person does not work. Over time, those who work hard will be tired and wronged, and those who don’t work hard will take it for granted. How to avoid this phenomenon from happening? That is, two people work together, so that no one will feel struggling and want to give up. They will work hard together, and when the other person feels difficult, the relationship will last forever.
What really goes far in love are those who silently plan the other person into their own lives and silently make continuous growth for each other.
5. Boys will show their love in time
In love, boys have a strong possessive desire. Show their love in time and tell people around you that you have a girlfriend.
Secondly, boys show their love and can take good care of girls' moods. Girls are very emotional when they are in love. If she can't feel your love expression, she will become depressed and depressed.
Girls will think that showing love is the best proof of your love for her, so smart boys must know how to show love at the right time.
Finally, boys show their love will make girls feel very secure, and will make girls feel protected and paid attention. She will feel that you are taking the initiative to keep a distance from other girls, not giving them the opportunity to get close to you and pursue you, and breaking the possibility of getting along with other girls.
If a girl meets a boy who is willing to show her love, he will definitely love you more than you think.
6. Pay attention to details
Love is details, and not love is also true.
When eating, the boy will put what the girl likes in front of him and grab what she doesn't like in her bowl;
When buying drinks and milk tea, the girl will buy what the boy likes to drink often;
When putting things, the boy will put things where the girl can reach it;
When putting things, the boy will put things where the girl can reach it;
Girls will naturally help the boy's clothes be upturned when they see him tidy up their collars;
Boys will naturally wipe them off with their hands when they see the boy's hair being messy.
Whether a person loves you or not, actually the answer is in the details. There will never be so-called "straight men" and "straight women" in this world, but there are only people who don't love you enough.
Really good relationships must have both love words of vows and details that are inadvertently revealed.
7. One loves, one worships
The best state of love: one loves a lot, the other worships the most.
Mymorium Wu said a passage: "My ex-ex-in-law and ex-husband are both great. One of them teaches me to be a gentle woman, and the other tells me to be a mature adult. But I still love my current employee more because he teaches me to be a child again."
What a girl needs most is pampering, hoping that the other party can tell that she spoiled herself into a child and that she can be a child carefree.
Men love women, making men feel more loving and warm. You will find that women become gentler, understanding, and caring, and understanding you and understand you more.
What men need most is to be worshipped. Women should meet the needs of men to be worshipped. They should encourage and recognize men more and support worshipping men more. Your praise and smile are the best rewards for them.
8. Protect each other for short-term
There is a saying: "Like it is judgment, love is support."
Really love someone is to support her for no reason and protect her, rather than reasoning her when she is sad.
When dating, it is not about finding someone to criticize me, but someone to support me and someone to protect me when I need it.
Protecting short-term protection is the most basic principle for two people to stay together for a long time. Let’s talk about it when you do something wrong, but in front of outsiders, we are the only support for each other.
When others criticize me, I hope you can stand on my side and face me without hesitation. Instead of laughing at me and criticizing me with others, I will suffer all the grievances.
Your love is her greatest confidence. Even if others say it badly, as long as you have a hug and a positive sentence, as long as you protect her in time and protect her self-esteem, she will be very grateful to you.
At the same time, she will also feel your love for her and will have more confidence in your feelings.
Fu Seoul once said: "Felling is a choice. The most valuable thing is not that we have chosen each other among the many choices, but that no matter how long we have, we will still choose each other."
It is not easy to love each other, and it is even more difficult to manage relationships. Feelings do not look fixed, but any good relationship must be mutual understanding, respect each other, work together, communicate actively and achieve mutual success.
or above, encourage them together!
