In the world, material desires are rampant, and marriage means responsibility and responsibility. This burden requires the couple to work together to bear.
In marriage, every woman hopes to accompany her a happy husband.
Some families usually live together for two generations, and there are inevitably conflicts, such as the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Once there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the husband who is sandwiched in the middle will inevitably feel embarrassed.
A reliable man will not favor either side. If his wife is in charge, he will support his wife without hesitation.
Couples are lifelong partners, and husband and wife relationships are the first in a family.
01 After the mother-in-law came to her house, the marriage light was on red lit
Event Review: In the picture, this young woman wearing a black leather jacket and anger was Yaoyao (pseudonym), and the woman sitting opposite the table was her mother-in-law.
Yaoyao and her husband Xiaoyan (pseudonym) have been married for 5 years and their relationship has always been good, but their marriage life has begun to become a mess with the sudden arrival of their mother-in-law. Half a year ago, my mother-in-law and her father-in-law had a fierce quarrel. My mother-in-law was in a bad mood and moved to her son's house in order to be angry with her father-in-law.
I originally thought that my mother-in-law was just here to relax and would go back when the breath cleared, but what Yaoyao didn't expect was that my mother-in-law had been here for half a year and had no intention of leaving at all.
Yaoyao is a nurse. Her high-intensity work has already made her exhausted, but her mother-in-law is completely unconsidered with her hard work and always makes trouble for her. My mother-in-law said that she was in poor health and could not do housework, so she always lie at home during the day, looking sick. Yaoyao had to cook for her mother-in-law when she got home after get off work, and even had to keep her clothes for her to wash. If the mother-in-law is really in poor health, Yaoyao, as a daughter-in-law, can understand it, but at night, the mother-in-law will dance square dance downstairs more exciting than anyone else.
people's hearts are full of flesh. Since the mother-in-law does not understand her hard work, Yaoyao will naturally have emotions. Seeing her mother-in-law's two faces day and night, Yaoyao is angry and conflicts arise.
Once, Yaoyao and her mother-in-law had an argument over some things. She thought her husband Xiaoyan would mediate, but he beat herself up indiscriminately. Her husband's indifference directly hurt Yaoyao's heart, and she returned to her parents' home in anger.
Yaoyao's parents are both very honest and honest people. Although they feel sorry for their daughter when they see her daughter suffers grievances at her in-laws' house, they do not want their daughter's marriage to break down. In order to save her daughter's family, Yaoyao's mother persuaded her daughter that her mother-in-law was also an elder, and that she, a junior, should coax her mother-in-law more. Seeing that his daughter was stubborn and refused to bow her head, Yaoyao's mother took her daughter back to her in-laws' house and personally apologized to her in-laws on behalf of her daughter, asking her not to have the same knowledge as Yaoyao.
Obviously she was wronged, but her mother forced herself to apologize. Yaoyao was angry. In order not to make her parents sad, although she chose to go back, the seeds of divorce were planted in her heart.
In order to save her marriage, Yaoyao tried to communicate with her husband Xiaoyan. She said that since her mother-in-law got angry after a quarrel with her father-in-law, it was not a solution to keep hiding. So she suggested seeing if she could send her mother-in-law back to her hometown, and let them resolve the conflict between the old couple by themselves.
After listening to his wife's advice, Xiaoyan mustered up the courage to discuss with her mother. After hearing what her son said, the mother-in-law not only did not feel that she had affected her son's marriage, but instead blamed Yaoyao for not being able to tolerate her, so she began to make more and more trouble. Although my mother-in-law didn't do housework, she took care of herself at least. Since she learned about Yaoyao's thoughts, she simply stayed in bed and even asked Yaoyao to quit her job and came back to take care of her at home full time.
02 The husband's attitude determines the temperature of the marriage
Seeing that the mother-in-law deliberately made things difficult for her, Yaoyao naturally would not give in. She had a conflict with her mother-in-law again. Although her husband Xiaoyan did not do anything to him this time, he did not come forward to stop him.
As the two of them quarreled, the mother-in-law suddenly fainted. Xiaoyan neither took her mother to the hospital nor called her father-in-law, but called her father-in-law and mother-in-law over. Seeing his mother-in-law fainted on the sofa, Yaoyao's mother knew that the other party might be pretending, they scolded Yaoyao for the sake of family harmony.
Yaoyao said that the mother-in-law had been here for half a year. This was not the first time she had fainted. After the mother-in-law fainted for the first time, she was so scared that she quickly sent her mother-in-law to the hospital for emergency treatment. However, after a careful examination by her colleague, she told her that her mother-in-law was in good health and there was no need to make trouble. Yaoyao was embarrassed by her colleague's words, and her mother-in-law's excitement every night, and she would never believe her if her mother-in-law fainted.
Seeing that the daughter-in-law was completely indifferent to her fainting, the mother-in-law decided to add some show to herself. She pretended to be uncomfortable and asked her son to help her from the living room back to the bedroom. Seeing that her husband was completely led by her mother-in-law, Yaoyao could no longer bear it. She told her husband: "Your mother is just pretending."
What Yaoyao never expected was that her reminder completely angered her husband. Xiaoyan directly slapped Yaoyao in front of everyone. And he said harsh words on the spot. He said that there were three choices in front of Yaoyao: First, Yaoyao resigned and took care of her mother-in-law at home; second, let her mother-in-law come to take care of her; third, divorce directly.
This move of her husband became the last straw to crush this marriage. Facing her mother-in-law who was looking for trouble all day and an unreasonable husband, Yaoyao left without looking back.
In order to save this marriage, the mediator decided to talk to Xiaoyan and his mother-in-law. As soon as she sat down, the fashionable mother-in-law began to point fingers at her daughter-in-law in various ways, and denied that her son had attacked her daughter-in-law. Seeing her energetic appearance, she didn't look like she was weak at all.
The person who tied the bell must also be unbuttoned. Seeing Xiaoyan who was silent beside him, the mediator hoped that he could express his thoughts. As a result, Xiaoyan said that his mother had nurturing him, and no matter who is right or wrong with his wife or mother, he should stand on his mother's side. So, in his opinion, Yaoyao should be more tolerant of her mother like herself.
Hearing that her son was standing on her side, the mother-in-law on the side became more confident. She said that she was not optimistic about the marriage at first. It turned out that according to local customs, it is usually only worth 60,000 yuan to get married, but when Yaoyao and Xiaoyan got married, the Yaoyao family asked for 86,000 yuan. The mother-in-law has always been unhappy about this and thinks that the Yaoyao family is too material. Although Yaoyao brought 100,000 yuan in her dowry, she still felt that she had lost money in her mother-in-law. After all, the house she lived in and her son and daughter-in-law bought it with full payment, and the daughter-in-law clearly picked up a big advantage.
After understanding the problem between Xiaoyan and Yaoyao, the mediator learned that Yaoyao's mother-in-law is strong and she has the final say at home all her life. This time her wife got angry, so she vented her anger on her daughter-in-law. Xiaoyan also felt sorry for her mother and felt that she was wronged, so she hoped to follow her more so that she would not really get angry. Regarding his marriage with Yaoyao, Xiaoyan admitted that he was angry at the time and did not really want to divorce his wife.
When mediating, Xiaoyan originally promised to apologize to his wife, but after sitting on the table, she saw her mother beside her, Xiaoyan began to say nothing again. Yaoyao immediately became excited about this, and she asked her husband why she had to listen to her mother-in-law for everything.
Seeing that the situation was wrong, the mediator asked Yaoyao and Xiaoyan to chat alone. Sure enough, without her mother-in-law, the couple quickly untied their knots. Finally, Xiaoyan also promised to communicate more with his wife in the future so that their family would get better and better.
03 Emotional analysis
There are many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The key is whether the husband can handle things and whether he will feel sorry for his wife. This is the key.When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it has always been one of the most troublesome problems for many people. Some mother-in-law may be gentle and understanding, so it is easier to get along with, but some mother-in-laws are not so gentle. At this time, many people don’t know what to do. If they meet a daughter-in-law with a weak personality, they will definitely quarrel, but they can’t quarrel all their lives, and they always have to resolve conflicts. My husband thinks that his wife should give in to the elderly. Even if the elderly do something wrong, he will blindly favor the elderly and suppress his wife. The status of his wife can be imagined.
For Xiaoyan, he felt that it was not easy for his mother. His wife should give in to her, but she ignored her wife's feelings.
Filial piety is an act worthy of advocacy and a good family tradition that needs to be passed down from generation to generation.
blindly emphasizes that the daughter-in-law will give more and be filial to the elderly, but she is very stingy. This way of getting along undoubtedly makes the daughter-in-law depressed. If the husband stands on the side of the mother-in-law and ask the wife to be more tolerant, instead of persuading the elderly to take care of the young people more, over time, not only will the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with each other, but the relationship between husband and wife will also be cold.
Put your heart in mind and exchange love for love. A woman is like a mirror. She will return everything you bring to her as it is, and to this home.
You have a bad attitude towards her, and you give her disappointment, pain and storms. Then this home will be covered with dark clouds and dark and cold every day;
You take more care of her and give her love, hope and warmth. Then this home will be sunny and shining with sunshine!
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