01
One place of water and soil nourishes the other people, rely on the mountains to eat the mountains and eat the water. Most people on the beach like to eat seafood; most people in the north like to eat pasta; most people in the south like to eat rice. People in different places have different eating habits. This is developed from childhood and cannot be corrected in a short while.
So everyone must respect each other and cannot force others to eat the same food as themselves. Everyone has their own preferences and their physical condition is also different. People may not like what you like to eat; you may not like what others like to eat. A's arsenic, B's honey, radish green vegetables each have their own preferences.
If southerners marry northerners, they must adapt to each other and accommodate each other. Then, the couple slowly formed common living habits and reached a consensus on many issues. If you have to ask the other party to live your life the way you do and you should focus on everything, then there will definitely be conflicts between husband and wife.
02
The southern girl and the northern boy are married. It was originally a good couple. Later, the girl became pregnant. Because the pregnancy reaction was relatively high, the young man asked his mother to take care of his daughter-in-law. My mother is from the north and likes to eat pasta. She makes all kinds of pasta for her daughter-in-law every day.
This happened to Feng Xiaorui, because she didn't want to eat pasta. The mother-in-law said that she disliked what her mother-in-law made and her husband protected her mother-in-law. In the end, the couple divorced and the child was aborted because of the food. Let's listen to what she has experienced.
Self-reporter: Feng Xiaorui
Age: 27 years old
Occupation: Waiter
City: Shanghai
03
I am from Shanghai and a native native. When looking for a partner, my parents wanted me to find a local, but I fell in love with my husband. My husband is from Shaanxi. After graduating from university, he stayed in Shanghai and has been living in the collective dormitory of the unit.
My husband and I met in " Paris Spring ". At that time, he took a glass of freshly squeezed juice and took it to the seat. I knocked it over. I went to "Paris Spring" to find my best friend. My best friend urged me on my phone, so I hurried away.
After I bumped into my husband, the glass of juice spilled all over him. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. He was indifferent, and while taking out a tissue to wipe it, he said, "It's okay." Later, I added him to my phone as a friend, and then we always chatted on our phones.
chatted, and we were in love. After a year of dating, we got married, the wedding was held in Shanghai, and in his hometown. Their family is an ordinary rural family, so they naturally cannot afford a house in Shanghai.
My parents have two houses, so they gave me a large house as a dowry, and they lived in another small house. After my husband and I got married, we lived in this dowry room and we lived a happy life after marriage.
04
After getting married, I became pregnant, and my morning sickness reaction was very serious, and I vomited whatever I eat. I work as a waiter in a restaurant. I want to vomit when I smell the food, so I can't do my job anymore. I asked my boss for two months to leave and wanted to wait until my morning sickness was better before going to work.
My mother is still at work and is very busy with work, so she can’t take care of me. My husband brought my mother-in-law here. Anyway, my mother-in-law had nothing to do in her hometown, so she was willing to come to Shanghai.
But after my mother-in-law came, she immediately acted like a master. She thought this was her son's home, that was her home, and I seemed to be an outsider. So she had to decide on all the big and small things at home, from what vegetables to what kind of vegetables to whether the child had a caesarean section or to , it seemed that she had the final say.
I naturally feel unhappy. For example, the problem of having a baby depends on the situation. If you have to listen to the doctor, how can you talk to yourself? But my mother-in-law said that caesarean section is expensive and natural delivery is cheap, so it is necessary to have a natural delivery. We had an argument over this matter, and the two of us did not give in.
There are more and more frictions like this. Every time a friction occurs, my husband always stands on my mother-in-law's side. My husband told me not to care about my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is an old lady in the countryside and has no education. I am a modern woman in the metropolis and cannot be as knowledgeable as her.
05
I also have a lot of pain in my diet. I have been eating rice since I was a child and I don’t like the pasta very much. It’s okay to eat a little bit, but if I eat it for a few meals, I can’t stand it anymore.
My husband has been in Shanghai since he was in college, so he adapted to his eating habits in Shanghai. My mother-in-law has always lived in Shaanxi. Except for when we were married, she has never been there at all.
My mother-in-law is used to eating pasta, doesn’t like rice, and doesn’t like eating Shanghai cuisine. So she cooks all according to her preferences, and every meal is pasta. Of course, my husband likes to eat his hometown dishes, but I don’t like it. I had severe morning sickness, and now I have to eat these every meal, so I have no appetite.
Because I don’t want to eat, I lost several pounds of weight shortly after, and I looked obviously thin. My mother-in-law scolded me, saying that I was pretentious and picky about food, and didn't care about the children in my stomach at all. My mother doesn’t eat, how can the child grow up? She says I’m not worthy of being a mother...
I was naturally very angry when I heard this, and then had a conflict with my mother-in-law. My husband thought my mother-in-law was right, and I also thought I was very pretentious, saying that every woman would get pregnant, and other women would be fine in pregnancy and work as usual! I'm fine, I'm not working anymore, and someone comes to serve me specifically, but I still do it.
06
My mother-in-law still makes pasta every day. If I order takeaway, she will scold me for spending money indiscriminately; if I don’t eat the pasta she makes, she scolds me for being pretentious, saying that I dislike her, so she doesn’t eat the food she makes. So we quarrel almost every day, and then the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law triggers the quarrel between husband and wife, and the more they quarrel, the more fierce they become.
such days lasted for more than a month. In the end, I made up my mind and quietly abolished the child and sued for divorce. My husband and mother-in-law were both surprised. After her mother-in-law came to her senses, she cried and scolded, saying that I was a murderer and killed their grandson.
Although my husband was very angry, he didn't want to divorce, so he asked me to withdraw the lawsuit. I did not withdraw the lawsuit, and when I made up my mind to abort the child, I had already decided to divorce. I think if I gave birth to this child, I wouldn’t be happy. My husband is a mama boy and he would ask his mother-in-law to take care of the child!
Later, with my insistence, my husband and I divorced. When my husband and mother-in-law moved out of my house, the mother and son complained to each other, "You blame me, I blame you."
Conclusion:
When my mother-in-law goes to her son's house, it is best to understand her position and not be too possessive. My son's home is also the daughter-in-law's home. My daughter-in-law is the mistress in the family. The mother-in-law can only be the mistress in her own home. If she goes to her son's home, she will not be the mistress.
The mother-in-law is overwhelming and has to make decisions on everything by herself. If you put your daughter-in-law together, the daughter-in-law will definitely have an objection. Everyone wants to be the master of their own home, and the mother-in-law cannot deprive the daughter-in-law of her daughter-in-law of her right to be the hostess.
Feng Xiaorui's mother-in-law came to her son's house to take care of her pregnant daughter-in-law, but she didn't take good care of her daughter-in-law at all.
In Shanghai, a young man from another place has no house and can marry a local girl with a dowry house. It is not easy. But the mother-in-law didn't realize this and acted like a mighty man at her son's house, which eventually led to her divorce.
People in different places have different eating habits and should respect each other and should not force others to be the same as themselves.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to follow. Life is warmth because of love and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
