"Good girl" can't find her boyfriend, no one chased her. Is it because the man is blind?
can answer this question with gender inverted.
Many "good men" also say that they can't find a girlfriend, and I have them around me. They are introverted and not good at speaking, but they have a very good character, are enthusiastic to friends, are filial to their family, and really want to get married, be dedicated to their family, and do housework.
Results I am in my 30s and still can’t find a suitable marriage partner.
Is it because girls are blind too?
No, it’s because the girls are not blind.
Although my friend is a good person, his conditions in all aspects are average, his appearance, height, income, and family background are extremely ordinary, and there are even one or two...below average.
The ability to deal with girls is also very average. You will only chat awkwardly on WeChat, and it is also boring to meet.
So I talked to him more directly. I said that is not called "good" in the eyes of girls. First of all, it is called "ordinary", ordinary and unattractive.
On the other hand, many "good girls" may have similar problems.
You said this is a stereotype, why can’t a girl with good taste and beautiful and interesting personality?
is right, of course there are, and there are definitely quite a few.
But with the inertial thinking of most people, A person's own attributes, any part beyond the "ordinary", whether it is appearance, talent, personality, or hardware conditions, as long as there is even a prominent advantage, when we describe him, we don't know how to use the words "good girl" and "good man".
Lin Chiling is also kind and gentle, but no one will summarize it as "good girl" when she mentions her.
Because the outstanding properties of are more intuitive, it will leave a deeper and more impactful impression.
When thinking of Lin Chiling, we must first think of whether she is a beauty, and then whether her character and character are "good" enough.
So we can directly touch the essence through the phenomenon. Of course it is true to be a "good girl", but if a person only leaves an impression on others, it is mostly because, other than that, she is very ordinary.
If you take the role in the right position, you are an ordinary good girl and don’t have any anxiety. You think you should immediately “refine yourself” and become the brightest star in the crowd.
First of all, the cost of making a complete transformation is too high for most people - do you have to undergo a head-level plastic surgery in order to find a partner?
is OK, but it is not necessary.
And I have always believed that ordinary is not a derogatory term. Most of us are ordinary, and the other half we look for are ordinary people.
So, even if you have always been in a normal condition, you are not unable to talk about the core obstacles of love.
"Good Girls" (and Good Men) have a more troublesome problem, because their averageness makes them feel too low in . What does
mean?
A group of people gathered together, even if they were not outstanding in appearance, there were always those with high energy and low energy, those who were noticeable and those who were not interested in it. When they met their favorite objects, they also took the initiative to attack and hid in the corner and dared not speak.
Good girls are usually the ones behind.
Their "good" basically has a feeling of "weakness". They dare not attract others' attention, dare not show their own characteristics, and even dare not emphasize their own existence.
is not a problem, is normal + "weak" is the problem.
Because no matter from the subjective or objective level, it is difficult for others to notice you, let alone like you and pursue you.
I have a girl with good relationships, and she is a very standard good girl.
actually has no faults in any aspect, and her appearance is considered to be moderate, but she just doesn't dress up.
is not the kind of dressing up with a unkempt and unkempt face, but the kind of dressing up with "try to keep yourself close to the average".
For example, clothes, I have known her for almost five years. Every time I see her, I have big T-shirts, jeans, canvas shoes, and I will wrap myself tightly with a black down jacket in winter.
I can't say that there is anything wrong with this, but it's really... If there are more people, I may not be able to find her out of the crowd.
I have also suggested that she should choose two more feminine clothes based on her appearance and figure advantages, and at least use them as a battle robe at critical moments.
She just didn't say it was uncomfortable.
I asked her where she was uncomfortable.
She said, what if 0,000 people say it’s not good? How embarrassing.
I admit that if she really changed her dressing style and wore some more bright, more eye-catching clothes that highlight her characteristics, I can't guarantee that everyone would say she looks better.
is very likely. Some people do think it is not good-looking and does not conform to their aesthetics.
Her worries are likely to come true.
But having this kind of worry is itself a unique "weak" for good girls.
is weak, so that it is not judged, criticized and attacked. It is better to let yourself not attract attention and hide in the crowd and not be discovered.
On the other hand, what is "strong"?
strong people are not afraid of judgment.
As long as the dressing is formed, it will inevitably be evaluated - some people like it, some people don't. The mentality of the strong man in
is that only selects friends or lovers from those who like them. If she doesn't like herself, she will not take it seriously at all, nor will she be afraid of her because of their evaluation. The problem is coming, but if my purpose is to find a partner, isn’t I going to make more people like me as much as possible, and will I have a greater chance of winning?
is correct, but there are two prerequisites.
First of all, the prerequisite for to "make more people like" is to let more people pay attention.
has revealed the cruel reality before. Good girls are often in ordinary conditions and cannot have their own eye-catching attributes. If you want to be noticed, you can only rely on your behavior and personal style.
You need to have some unusual parts in your ordinary body to be paid attention to.
Many people often underestimate the value of "focus".
It's a very simple phenomenon.
Suppose I came to a party today, and the other girls didn't dress up much, just wearing T-shirts and jeans, only one girl was wearing Hanfu and putting on matching makeup.
She may not be the most beautiful on the court, and I may not even like the style of Hanfu, but I will definitely notice her immediately, and when it comes to dressing up alone, I must have the deepest impression of her.
Because she is not ordinary, she has characteristics.
Then, maybe it is possible that because I noticed her first, I would rather sit next to her and chat with her for a few more words. Maybe she will really make me feel good about a topic or detail.
So she had an extra suitor.
Then, "make more people like" does not mean "make everyone likes" - good girls and good men, it is particularly easy to confuse these two concepts.
My good girl friend still has a habit, and it is always easy to be anxious when sending messages.
Once you return late, or the other party returns late, you start to think randomly, thinking that others are angry with her.
I asked her, is the person you like opposite? Or is it a person who is very important to you, such as your boss?
She said it was not right, just an ordinary friend, but I was still afraid of making others angry...
It is true that I don’t provoke others on my own initiative, but I always think of “I can’t make others unhappy” and “I’m afraid others unhappy”, which is still a weak mentality.
Let’s emphasize again, the strong are not afraid of judgment.
strong people can also be very humble and do not provoke or offend others, but they will never be afraid that others will get angry or hate themselves.
Their thinking is, I didn’t take the initiative to provoke you, then if you hate me and be angry with me, it’s not my fault.
I don’t need to change, I just need to find friends and lovers from those who are not so easy to be angry with me and hate me.
does not cater to it, it only attracts it.
does not compromise, only filter.
