Have you ever encountered such a situation? The partners you meet at work are not in a good relationship anyway. You always dislike each other and it is even more difficult to cooperate. Such relationships have even affected normal work. How to use 4 steps to change the situation in
?
Step 1: How should you feel and act?
Appropriate: Regret and helplessness.
Improperity: excessive anger, mockery, unhappy, and quarrel.
Step 2: What irrationalities lead to inappropriate feelings and behaviors?
1. What are the irrational ways of thinking about yourself?
"I am a fool! I shouldn't let him influence me. I won't let him 'bully, I want him to look good!"
2. What irrational ways do you think about the other party?
"I really can't stand him! I don't understand how he got this job with his ability. He must have gone out of relationship! He is so incompetent, but he is still so arrogant!"
3. What irrational ideas do you have about this situation?
"What if our bad relationship affects work?"
Step 3: How should we fight against our irrational way of thinking?
"We can't get it, I really can't stand it? Am I also intensifying the conflict? Does he have to act according to my ideas?"
Step 4: What better option can I use to replace my irrational way of thinking?
"I want us to cooperate. It would be great if we can do this! But it would not be bad, terrible, or terrifying. I am worried about this situation, and I am determined to improve this relationship."
"If it cannot be improved, I don't need to recite the 'should' scriptures to him, nor do I terrify the matter. If my work is not affected, it is best, but if it has affected the work, I can deal with it. I will continue to communicate honestly with him. I don't need to force myself to like him. I will talk to him and work hard to solve the problem. If it can be solved, it would be great. If it can't be solved, I can't die."
Anxiety and anger are useless. Changing your mind is not just for your friends, but you can reduce overreaction, otherwise excessive emotions will bother you.
