In life, we are doing multiple-choice questions all the time:
When eating, you are always afraid that the people in your companions will ask you to order food, because you will be entangled and difficult to choose.
When shopping, you always ask friends to help you with your adviser, because after trying on dozens of clothes, you still can't make up your mind which one to buy.
When purchasing electronic products, you always collect various information to try to find the product with the perfect configuration.
People often say: "Children are simple-minded, but adults always think too much."
When there are more and more options, there are more and more worries.
It seemed like a very easy thing to make a choice when you were a child, because if you like it better, you would choose it without hesitation.
But when I grew up, I even had to spend half an hour thinking about what variety shows I watched during lunch.
American psychologist Amos Tworsky believes: "More choices sometimes bring negative effects of weakening motivation."
People are always weighing costs and benefits, wanting to avoid risks as much as they can, as if they are wearing white or blue shirts at work in the morning, and as big as the intersection of life planning, going left or right.
Those hesitant hesitation are exchanged for the elapsed time and multiple anxiety. Behind the selection difficulty , there are actually these psychological mechanisms :
Over-pursuing perfection
Perfectionists always want to do things perfectly and pursue ideal choices, so they will be measured repeatedly in the details of multiple options, making it difficult to choose until the optimal solution is found.
escapist
The biggest feature of people who escapist is that they are afraid of taking responsibility, and they are afraid of the negative impact after making a choice.
So many times when making choices, you will listen to other people's suggestions or opinions. In this way, even if the final result is not satisfactory, it is not just caused by yourself.
Because someone shares the responsibility, your guilt and guilt will also be reduced.
The pressure is too high
Every generation has their own troubles and troubles in this era. People like "overstress" are now mainly concentrated in young people around the age of 20-35.
The current fast-paced wave makes it difficult for young people to bear the risks of trial and error. They are related to the responsibilities of their families, parents and children, and every choice is crucial to them.
If you also feel that you have difficulty choosing, you might as well start to improve it from the following aspects:
1 Learn to be a contented person
As the saying goes, contentment is always happy, we do not have the eyes that can see through the essence of things, and naturally we cannot see the most perfect option.
Change the pursuit of "the best" to "the most suitable", reduce expectations, and admitting one's own limitations is more often a kind of self-reconciliation.
02 Change "select" to "must"
In fact, when facing a choice, you give yourself room to retreat, and if you tell yourself decisively that you must do this, you will leave no room for your practice.
Doing this more often on small things will help improve your autonomy on the one hand, and on the other hand, it can help you get rid of the troubles of difficulty in choosing.
03 Learn to give up
You may feel that you are making choices from trivial matters to major events in life, and learn to give up the energy you spend on small matters.
tells yourself "even if the result is not good, it doesn't matter". Wearing white or blue clothes will not affect anything.
Leave your energy to major choices. When faced with multiple options, you can take out paper and pen and write down what your ultimate goal is for what you are going to do.
Then list the positive and negative effects of each option on the target, and finally find the option with the greatest positive impact and relatively small negative impact.
Faced with more and more choices, hesitated, and his life became heavier and heavier.
Maybe you should return to your original intention and reconcile with yourself, and enjoy the richness and diversity of the world freely and confidently.
