I read a sentence:
"Building a connection is a process of digging a well. What you give is a little sweat and what you get is a steady stream of wealth."
No matter who it is, all kinds of people will be revealed on the road of growth. Some people have like-minded or like-minded. After the precipitation of time, the two people slowly become each other's best friends.
Along the way, some people can resist the storm together, and some people help each other all the way also makes themselves go further and further.
In order to enhance each other's feelings or to bring the relationship between two people closer, we often choose to give some gifts to express our feelings.
However, it is not possible to just give a gift at will to make the relationship between two people better and better. On the contrary, if the gift is not suitable, it will backfire, making the relationship between the two people worse and worse, and even turning against each other.
The most important thing about giving gifts is to express whether the emotions you convey are in place. Only by truly aware of this can you understand that some of the ways of giving gifts are wrong. Never let yourself make mistakes again and again, otherwise it will only lay invisible hidden dangers for the relationship between two people, and ultimately lead to parting ways.
so, no matter how close the relationship is, don’t give others the following things, as it is easy to turn against each other.
1 A casual gift
In " Dream of the Red Chamber ", Lin Daiyu said a sentence:
" (Is this kind of gift) single? Or is it the one I have? Or is it the one that someone else chooses? "
If you give someone a gift, don't give a gift that has no meaning, such as just taking something to the other party. Doing this will not only not bring each other closer together, but will also make the other party unable to feel the true feelings you convey. It will misunderstand that you do not value the other party so much, but just deal with yourself casually.
The real value of giving gifts is to convey your own emotions and let the other party feel their unique kindness and warmth. However, if the other person feels that you are just taking a gift you don’t want or used, then you will only feel that you look down on yourself and create a gap between the two people.
Therefore, the correct way to give gifts must be to be strong in nature, so that the other party feels that this is a gift that he deliberately gives to himself, so that he will feel that you attach more importance to this relationship from the bottom of your heart and also attach great importance to yourself.
In this way, the other party will like the gift you send more, and the relationship between the two will get closer and closer.
For example, when some people give gifts, they will engrave the other person's name on the gift. Such a small action makes the person receiving the gift very happy. Because behind the gift is the exclusiveness and uniqueness, the other party feels that he is very valued, rather than just taking a gift casually.
2 Unpopular and infrequently used gift
Hometimes, the gift itself must have some practical value.
When we give gifts to some friends, the purpose is to enhance each other's feelings through gifts. However, if the gift itself is very unpopular, or it cannot be used by another person in daily life, then the gift itself loses its own value and the gift will become meaningless.
A reader friend shared something he encountered.
Because of work, I met a friend. At first, the two of them had a good conversation and often contacted each other for a while.
Once, this friend gave him a gift, which was a very exquisite set of four treasures of the study. He was very grateful to the other party on the surface, but in fact, his true thoughts were: he never liked to splash ink, and this gift had no value to him.
From then on, this gift was put in a corner of the room, and the longer the time it was, it was covered in dust. After
, when the two met again, the other party unintentionally offered the gift, and he couldn't remember it, which was very embarrassing.
To be honest, don’t give gifts that others are unpopular or use frequently, because this thing has no use value to others and will only be left aside. The longer the time, the more you will even forget the gift completely.
The other party mistakenly thinks that after you give a gift, you should be full of gratitude, but the actual situation is very different. This gift not only does not make each other's relationship better and better, but also causes many misunderstandings.
The correct method is to give the other party a gift that can be used frequently.
This is the case. Every time he picks up the gift you give, he will review your feelings, think of your goodness in his heart, and the relationship between the two will get closer and closer.
3 Suddenly giving gifts
In reality, people may not be so familiar with each other, but the other party suddenly gives a gift, which often makes the other party alert, thinking that the other party must be profitable or has a purpose, so you must be very cautious.
In this way, giving gifts to others will make the other party very nervous, and naturally it will create many barriers between the two people. Not only will it not bring each other closer, but it will also keep the other party away.
so, if you want to maintain a close relationship with someone, the correct way should be repeated regularly.
In other words, no matter what you give, don’t appear suddenly, or occasionally, it should appear frequently, even if it is an insignificant gift, because the other party has formed a habit and dependence on this matter, and will always be very grateful to the other party from the bottom of his heart, which will naturally make the relationship between the two people closer and closer.
Therefore, only by constantly deepening your good impression in the other person’s heart can we take our relationship to a step further.
4 Gift that causes great psychological pressure to others
This is a taboo in giving gifts, and it often causes the relationship between two people to come to an abrupt end, or even turn against each other.
A friend shared a story.
His former colleague once found him and suddenly gave him a very expensive gift, but he never said anything was wrong, just about friendship.
However, he felt that it was really not that simple. After careful investigation, I realized that this former colleague learned that he has been promoted to become a leader and wants to let his wife join this company through his relationship...
This time, it brought him huge psychological pressure.
If you accept this gift, it means you must do it. However, now the company's personnel positions are tight and you will recruit someone randomly will definitely make your leader unsatisfied, and your work will also be affected by that time.
so he rejected the gift.
The former colleague saw him rejecting and thought he was unwilling to help him, so he immediately gave him some unpleasant words, which made him very depressed.
No matter who it is, don’t let the other party feel huge psychological pressure when giving gifts to others. It will only make each other’s relationship more and more tense, and even part ways on the spot.
Please remember that gifts are not weights, but emotional transmission of equal communication. Once the gift is given more meaning, the relationship between the two people will come to an end.
There is a saying: "Insight into the world is all about knowledge, and understanding human feelings is about articles."
Sending gifts to others is actually one of the ways of expressing human relationships, but it is definitely not casual or need to care about it. Instead, understanding these taboos of giving gifts can help us get rid of mistakes, choose the right choice, and truly make each other more and more intimate through a gift.
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