Yishhu once said: The only person who hates more than the other relatives may be our own relatives.
Regarding relatives, there is a saying on the Internet: When you are down and out, and when you are jealous of you, he hopes you will live a good life, but he does not want you to live a better life than him. This is relative.
The reason why relatives feel annoying and troubled is mainly because people attach great importance to family affection and attach great importance to each other's affection.
If an ordinary person makes unreasonable requests to you and wants to take advantage of you, you probably will refuse directly without hesitation. If you encounter a bad temper, you can still fight back, so that the other party will lose face. However, if it is a relative, especially a relative who is very close to blood, it is difficult to refuse directly.
Once upon a time, filial piety requires us to respect our elders and attach importance to family affection. Since ancient times, people have regarded family as a group of interests, prosper and lose themselves, and they also attach great importance to family affection. Secondly, you may not have a deep relationship with him and are not close to him, but your parents may have a very close relationship with him. Due to the face of your parents, you cannot directly make a fuss with your relatives.
However, as the writer Lu Qi once said: "Everyone thinks that helping people is powerful, but in fact, rejection is a more powerful thing. Only when you learn to refuse will people know your bottom line and understand where you can bully you and where you cannot."
If you don't know how to refuse, due to love, those people will only gain more and make more unreasonable demands. Sooner or later, you will not be able to stand it and will have a stumble with him. At that time, your family affection will still not be preserved, and your interests will be violated a lot, which will not be worth the loss.
"Dad, think clearly. If you think your brother and nephew are more important than your wife and daughter, then okay, my sister and I will pick up my mother and you will go with your brother's family! I want to see if your baby nephew will support you in retirement?"
Just as Xu Yuan was talking to her father, the uncle's call came. Xu Yuan answered it and replied, "Uncle, I will tell you clearly that my sister and I don't give your baby son a penny. He can't marry his wife. What a big deal? Your son cares about my father's retirement? It's ridiculous. You treat our whole family as a fool, right? I don't believe it, and you can't let your plan succeed." He hung up the phone directly and did not give his uncle the opportunity to scold him for being disrespectful.
01.
In fact, the relationship between Xu Yuan and his uncle was not very good, just because Xu Yuan's uncle always felt that his family was the best in Gao and Xu Yuan's family, and always mocked Xu Yuan's family.
"Why do you think we are better than us? It's obvious that he has a son, my father has no son, and only two daughters. Therefore, whether it is grandparents or uncles, they all think they are heroes of the Xu family, and they have passed on the family line for the Xu family. They think that my mother is a sinner and is not good at it. My aunt mocked my mother many times, saying that my mother is an old hen that can't lay eggs, and she made my mother angry and cried several times."
Relying on giving birth to a son, Xu Yuan's uncle took a lot of advantage. Grandpa and grandma distributed all the property and old houses to them, and did not leave a penny to Xu Yuan's family.
When Xu Yuan was young, everyone went back to her grandparents to celebrate the New Year. The aunt never worked. Whether it was cooking or other housework, they were thrown to Xu Yuan's mother. The reason was the same, "Whoever makes you feel unsophisticated and can't give birth to a son, who will not do it?"
Xu Yuan and her sister were very angry when they saw their mother being bullied by their grandparents and uncles, and when they saw that their father was weak and incompetent, they could not protect their wife. The two sisters made an appointment to study hard and be a hundred times better than their cousin, and to win a sigh of relief for their mother.
"My cousin was spoiled, ignorant, and failed to get into college. After graduating from high school, he went out to work. After working for a year or two, he didn't make any money. He felt tired and ran home to rely on his parents. My sister and I both got into a college entrance examination, and my sister finished graduate school. Relatives and friends praised us sisters for being successful, but only my uncle was still stubborn, saying that no matter how successful we are and how able we can make money, we are also outsiders and will only be cheaper to others."
02.
When she mentioned her uncle and aunt, Xu Yuan not only wanted to complain about them, but also wanted to complain about her unreliable father.
"When my mother gave birth to me, she was 32 years old. She has always been in a bad state and is not suitable for having children anymore. However, my dad couldn't stand the stimulation of his uncle and grandparents and the pressure from his grandparents, so he forced my mom to have a second child. After I was born, he almost accepted my uncle's bad idea and gave me away, intending to ask for another one. My mother fought desperately and had a divorce from him, so she left me and did not continue to have children. "
When grandparents and uncles bully their mother, their father either pretended to be deaf and dumb, and they were not attentive to their own affairs, or they stood on the side of their family and asked their wife to work honestly. They never said a word to their wife. Xu Yuan and her sister saw these things and were very dissatisfied with their father.
However, because his father was still honest in recent years, earning money to support his family, and not listening to his uncle's instigation to prevent the two sisters from studying, Xu Yuan and her sister were still quite filial to him. They often bought things for him and gave him money to make his life easier.
However, for Xu Yuan's father, no matter how filial his daughter is, he still has no son, because he thinks that raising a child to prevent old age, the child refers to The son is not a daughter, and he is worried that he will not have any guarantee when he gets old.
Therefore, when Xu Yuan's uncle talks about retirement with him and says that his daughter is unreliable and he will rely on his nephew to retire in the future, Xu Yuan's father is shaken again.
03.
Xu Yuan's uncle talks about this topic with his younger brother because he has a wishful thinking and wants to solve the marriage of his son with his two nieces.
"My cousin is 29 years old and has never found a wife. Some time ago, with the efforts of relatives, a girl was finally willing to marry her cousin, but the other party asked to buy a house in the city, and the down payment would be 400,000 yuan, so that the man's family would pay, and the money for the wedding would be required. Although my uncle has some money in his hands, at most it is enough for the bride price. How can I pay for the house to buy a house? "
So, Xu Yuan's uncle made a wishful thinking: "As long as the two nieces pay 200,000 each, my son will not have to worry about not having money to get married. Second brother, go to your two daughters and tell them that the 400,000 yuan is the pension fee you will pay in one go, and your nephew will cover your pension in the future. "
What Xu Yuan and her sister did not expect was that her father believed it and really made such a request with her two daughters. As soon as he spoke, Xu Yuan's mother got angry, picked up the thing and threw it on her husband, telling him clearly that she had no penny and he would divorce him.
Xu Yuan's uncle knew about it, and he didn't give up and ran to Xu Yuan's house to make trouble. He vomited fragrance at Xu Yuan's mother, which made Xu Yuan's mother sick and was admitted to the hospital. After hearing the news, Xu Yuan and her sister rushed back.
"My sister got married, took my brother-in-law to visit her uncle's house, and told them about their behavior well, so that they had no shame to go out to see people. When I got home, I supported my mother and warned my dad hard. Now, my uncle hasn't given up, but my dad never dares to speak again. ”
04.
Lu Yao wrote in "Ordinary World": "The reason why people suffer is that they pursue the wrong things. If you don’t bother yourself, others won’t bother you. "
Fellowship is mutual. Whether it is family, friendship or love, it requires two-way rushing. If the other party really treats you as a relative and really cares about your family affection, then he will not make unreasonable requests to you and put you in a dilemma. If he can speak this, it means that in his eyes, compared to interests, the family affection between you is not worth mentioning.
Whether it is a man or a woman, remember that since you are married, you must put the small family first, cherish your family, cherish these people who will accompany you until you are old and will truly never leave you.
In order to calculate you and treat family affection as a bargaining weight for profit, lose the family who originally loved you and would never leave you, that is, he picked up sesame seeds and lost the watermelon. In the end, the only one who suffered is you.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Xu Yuan? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
