The reader wrote to me and said:
will return early on a business trip and ask my husband to pick me up at the airport. He agreed readily. After seeing her husband, she found a band-aid sticking around his neck and asked him: What's going on? Husband: I accidentally touched it. The logic of ordinary people: How can you be touched on your neck while others are intact? While my husband was driving, I tore off the band-aid around his neck and saw the "strawberry" seal that angered me. Husband: Wife, I was wrong. Me: Let’s talk about it after you get home. The truth about
is as follows: my husband started chatting with a female netizen half a year ago. During this period, they met several times and took advantage of my business trip to take the other party to our house (my son was three years old and I was on a business trip). At that time, I sent my son to my in-laws' house and was helped by my in-laws).
After a big argument, I chose to sleep in separate rooms with my husband, thinking he was particularly "dirty". It has been half a month since the incident. I have always had the idea of divorce in my mind, but when I really have to face the divorce, I found that there are so many ties that I don’t know what to do now.
My husband and I are high school classmates. We established a romantic relationship in the second half of the semester of our second year. During our college years, we went to college in different cities. After graduating from college, I chose to return to the urban development career where I grew up, while my husband stayed in the urban development career where he went to school. During this period, I felt that the two of them were always not together, and I felt that this relationship was a bit unreliable, so I asked my husband to break up. My husband's attitude at the beginning: When he gets through, he will take me to him (in fact, I don't want to live in a big city at all, and I feel that living in a prefecture-level city is not under much pressure and can accompany my parents' lives. That's pretty good). Seeing that I never considered life in big cities, my husband had to quit his job and return to me (my husband worked in a bank at the time and did business after he came back). Over the years, my husband's income was OK and our relationship was OK. I never expected that an extramarital affair would happen between us.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
said pessimistically: More than 60% of married men have been exposed to their wives and have had contact with other women. Of course, less than 10% of men will divorce their wives for their lover. The reason why a man actually divorces his wife is definitely not the appearance of a third party, but the woman is too unreasonable and domineering in marriage. Of course, there are many divorce cases caused by the birth of extramarital affair. It originated from the post-infidelity period. Men want to return to their families, but women have adopted a zero-tolerance attitude towards men's cheating. This means that in the post-infidelity period, as long as the woman can forgive her, her marriage life will continue; it means that the third party is just a new look for for men, and men will not easily divorce the third party.
Regarding your husband's cheating behavior, what I can tell you is: the relationship between him and netizens is just a pursuit of fresh and exciting game of fire, and your husband will not be involved in real feelings at all. As for whether to forgive or not, it depends mainly on your tolerance for this matter. Remember, in the adult world, many things must follow your heart, rather than listening to the "good words" or "faning the flames" of the people around you; sometimes, when facing some things, there is no need to keep yourself The black or white attitude has a gray area in life. At this time, you need to try your best to move in a more favorable direction, and you also need to take into account factors such as children and parents during this period.
In a marriage relationship, there are four common reasons that hinder the stable development of couples' relationship:
1) The aesthetic fatigue that arises after couples have been together for a long time.
people are species that are fond of the new and tired of the old, so that no relationship can escape the fate of opening high and closing low and closing . It means that couples tend to have a dull relationship. At this time, some people will use responsibilities and obligations, the joys and sorrows between husband and wife, and the family affection accumulated over the years to ensure loyalty to the marriage; while some people will get involved in extramarital affairs while looking for freshness. At this time, as the party who cheated, he actually understood many great principles and never had the idea of divorced his lover.But that turbulent heart will prompt you to do something that hurts the relationship between husband and wife. To put it bluntly: Everyone can provoke the opposite sex outside of marriage without hiding their lover in life. However, some people will use their strong self-control to give their own rules on their words and deeds, while others choose to indulge in freedom.
2) When one party fails to work for a long time, it will cause the family's finances to be tight.
Is money important in life? The answer is: It's so important. The reason why many couples do not have money-level troubles is that the two people are not short of money and evenly matched at the money-level. If in a relationship, one person is just an ordinary office worker, while the other person is in a state of being lazy and lazy. In such a marriage, the waiting for the couple must be frequent quarrels. However, many people's lives are only a relatively ordinary existence, so many people pay special attention to their partner's ability to make money in the process of running a marriage. Once the partner is dragged down at the level of making money, the relationship between husband and wife will naturally be invisible. Produce obstacles. To this end, in the process of managing a marriage, never become a burden to your lover because of your own existence.
3) The parents or siblings of one party are too burdened.
Many people will love their loved ones and accept their loved ones’ family members during their relationship. In fact, life after marriage is indeed a matter of two families. During this period, conflicts related to other members of the family will become prominent. The conflict between husband and wife during the period is mainly manifested in two aspects: because there is no relative fairness at the level of treating the direct relatives of both parties, the one party who is more favored to the direct relatives will arouse dissatisfaction with the other party; in the process of protecting the direct relatives, It will definitely involve elements of money, which will make the party who is more indifferent to the direct relatives feel that they are not as important as their parents or siblings in the eyes of their lovers.
4) It is difficult for two people to reach a consensus on the level of life habits.
People often have this feeling in the emotional field. When two people first get together, the process of getting along is quite pleasant, but after dating for a while, they will feel uncomfortable being together. The things that make me feel awkward are not about the grand and exciting things, they are all trivial matters. At this time, if you say the awkward in your heart, you will feel a little unruly; if you don’t say the awkward in your heart, you will feel particularly uncomfortable. In this case, small links in life such as diet, work and rest time, and attitude towards life will become the source of conflicts between husband and wife.
Postscript:
Love is a ball of fire. If it is burned well, it can not only illuminate others, but also warm yourself; if it is not burned well, it will not only burn yourself, but also hurt others. Each of us is the creator and tryer of life. It is impossible not to make mistakes during this period, but after the mistake occurs, you must learn to reflect on yourself and face the corrections of the people around you, and have the feeling of cultivating mistakes. Regarding feelings, sometimes don’t always look at other people’s shortcomings. In fact, you can use your excellence to influence the people around you.
Sometimes, after doing something that makes you uncomfortable in your lover, divorce may be a way of choice, but it may not be the best way of choice. It is also a result to make both of you better yourself while you are tolerant. Life is a process of making mistakes. If some people can understand their mistakes and correct them, why bother making a relationship easily missed?
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
