When it was time to get off work, Xiao Wang walked into the elevator filled with colleagues, sat down on the first floor without saying a word, walked out of the elevator door, smiled and said goodbye to everyone, and finally breathed a sigh of relief. He finally got through the last embarrassing minute of the day. .
There are many young people like Xiao Wang, who can often chat and laugh with friends and colleagues, but at the end of the day, they always feel more and more mentally exhausted - social activities seem to be a " consumption”.
"Limited social vitality" is actually a problem shared by many introverts.
01 Just being surrounded by people
is a waste for me
"I can get high, but I can’t say how long."
For many introverts, just being surrounded by people is a kind of waste. "Social consumption". "Do you think it's okay if you don't have to talk? No, just seeing so many people makes me feel tired."
At noon on weekdays, being able to find a corner to have a meal quietly alone makes them sigh: It's so pure. It's not that
doesn't like his colleagues, he just needs to "stay alone" to regain his health.
Psychologist Carl Jung mentioned when talking about people's "introversion" and "extroversion": The difference in personality is ultimately the difference in psychological energy: introverts recharge through solitude, and extroverts recharge through social interaction . Different charging methods distinguish introverts and extroverts.
Then, how does the "consumption" of introverts in social interaction occur?
First of all, compared to extroverts, introverts are often not good at small talk, nor are they good at small talk. They even hate small talk, a form of chatting. They even believe that the superficial form of conversation hinders real communication between people. (Laurie Helgoe, 2013)
Second, introverts who are easily "consumed" often need to integrate themselves into social situations in work and life to adapt themselves to various stimulations in social activities. Noise, lights, music, different faces, food, drinks, various smells – it all overloads the introvert’s brain.
Third, compared to extroverts, introverts are indeed more likely to be disturbed and distracted in social environments -
In a psychological experiment, researchers asked a group of introverts and a group of extroverts to Complete 4 cognitive tests (tests of short-term memory, long-term memory, reading comprehension, observation and thinking) with background music of different levels of interference.
In the 4 tests, as the background music interference continued to increase, the test scores of introverts became lower and lower, while the test scores of extroverts became higher and higher.
Finally, from a physiological point of view, the brain neural pathways of introverts and extroverts are also different.
According to the research of Perpetua Neo, Ph.D. in psychology, the neural pathways taken by the brains of introverts and extroverts in social situations are different. Extroverts have short neural pathways, while introverts have much longer neural pathways, which means external stimuli can travel through more areas in the introvert's brain.
One of these areas is the right frontal insular cortex, the part of the brain that detects error information, allowing introverts to notice all kinds of details so they can be consciously aware of the mistakes they make.
Another area of the brain is the frontal lobe, the area responsible for evaluating results. This means that introverts’ brains are very busy and they are always worrying about something bad happening. Before speaking, they are more likely to retrieve information from their long-term memory to avoid saying the wrong thing.
That said, few things are truly easy for the introvert brain to process. While extroverts can respond easily to various situations in a timely manner, introverts cannot because their brains do not allow it to function this way.
Neo also explained: “This is why introverts feel anxious when facing social situations and are even considered a bit ‘mentally sensitive’.Because their brain pathway is relatively long, when they accept too much social stimulus, whether in small groups or noisy environments, an introverted nervous system is easy to overwhelmed. "
02 You do not need to become an exterior
. You may just need some social skills
For some interior. . It will make some introverts nervous, heartbeat, sweating, or trembling. "
" Maybe you can't see it, but I am really nervous now. "
, on the one hand, the action of" speaking "itself can relieve tension and anxiety. Even if you are nervous, you don't have to cover up your tension now.
on the other hand, this is a way to release goodwill. There are many introverts. The silence and avoidance are because of nervousness, I do n’t know what to say, but people who do n’t understand can easily understand it as “high -cold”, “black face”, “do n’t love people”. In fact, the information expressed is:
"I am a little nervous now, but I think everyone is friendly, so I am willing to say it. "
exposes a small weakness. It expresses your trust in the person and this group in front of you. It will take the initiative to release goodwill, which will be easier to get a goodwill feedback.
2. Relax with your body to drive psychological relaxation
. We The body and psychology can affect each other. When your body adopts a very relaxed posture, the relaxation of the body will drive psychological relaxation -for example, suddenly sit on the workshop for a while. The posture of sitting "sitting" will briefly give a person confident. Some studies have proved that in front of those who make us nervous and POWER are older than us, we can easily adopt more shrinking and more restrained. The small posture is in front of those who are less influential, our sitting position will be more casual and relaxed. For the person who can "rescue"
, for most introverted people, one -to -one communication is okay, and communication with your acquaintance is okay. Pull a acquaintance, or find an acquaintance at the scene. The introverted people in
in the social environment do not like excessive hustle and bustle, and socialize in a relatively quiet and small environment, such as small discussion groups, bookstores, libraries, small rice bureaus (no more than 4 people). Excessive external interference, creating a good atmosphere of deep communication, which is also conducive to the introverteders to exert their deep advantages. From the province and can receive more information ... those with these characteristics, the quality of the output content is often higher than the out -of -the -ware person. Methods. In this era, more and more communication is performed online. I want to say that in this world, everyone must have their own advantages and disadvantages, and there is no need to pay too much attention.
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References
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"The Psychology of Introverts" Marty O. Ranney
"The Competitiveness of Introverts" Susan Cain
"Temperament" Jerome Kagan
Shawna Courter. (2016). Yes, THERE IS SUCHA THING AS AN 'INTROVERT' HANGOVER. Introvertdear.com.
Reluv. (2016). Introverts dating. Reluv.co
Furnham, A., Allass, K. (1999). Theinfluence of musical distraction of varying complexity on the cognitiveperformance of extroverts and introverts.European Journal ofPersonality, 13(1), 27-38
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/
https:/ /psych-neuro.com/2017/04/29/blame-it-on-your-brain-why-you-prefer-to-be-alone/amp/
Author: Jun Zhizhi
Editor: kk
