still believes that in a successful marriage, men and women must support each other and be equal to each other. So I always tell my friends of the opposite sex with whom I have close relationships, never give up on your studies or your job. Girls don't have to be worse than boys.
The successful marriages I have seen are my parents, my aunt and uncle. They all support and help each other. Everything in the family constitutes the pillar of the family's life, one of which is forged together, and both parties are indispensable. I am a boy, and I would like to warn boys to respect our significant other. We can have different divisions of labor in family life, but we must not be self-righteous and think that we have paid more. Marriage is not an easy thing. I want to say to girls, we should not be blindly carried away by love and give up our future for each other. You must have a stable job and your own financial resources. You must have your own direction of efforts.
I hope we can value marriage and know how to be tolerant and humble. I am at an age where I am afraid of marriage but full of yearning for marriage.
1. When encountering a scumbag man and a scumbag woman, you misjudged the person.
We say that mistaking the wrong person is often a major factor in the failure of a marriage. Many times, when we discover marriage problems, we always feel that we have chosen the wrong person or looked at the wrong person. But in fact, maybe the other person is really that kind of scumbag man or woman. So, it’s not your problem. No matter how good you are, no matter how kind you are, no matter how hard you try to maintain your marriage, but because the person you meet is a scumbag, all your efforts may be in vain and the marriage will still fail. question.
Second, I am careless and have blind illusions about marriage.
Sometimes, problems in marriage are your own problems. It does not mean that there is a problem with your character or ability, but that you were careless when choosing your partner at the beginning of the marriage, or you were too optimistic about the existence of marriage. I have a blind fantasy and always feel that if I try my best or work hard, I will definitely make a good marriage. Therefore, you enter a marriage with fantasy, but when the result is often not as expected, various contradictions will emerge, and then get worse and worse, eventually leading to the failure of the marriage.
Third, they don’t know how to get along and communicate, which makes problems accumulate.
Sometimes, because the couple cannot get along and communicate, the marriage has more and more problems, which is also a reason for the failure of the marriage. Many men and women have very little communication after marriage. This situation is more obvious for those couples who have been married for many years. They feel that they are already an old couple and there is no need to talk about topics that have nothing to do with life. They only focus on their own efforts for life. They feel that This is the life of a couple. Therefore, not knowing how to get along and communicate will make the marriage problems accumulate, eventually leading to the failure of the marriage.
5. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is irreconcilable, which seriously affects the relationship between husband and wife.
The mother-in-law may be a young mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law is a pampered only daughter. The two women who grew up in different environments are natural enemies. When there is a problem, neither side gives in, one seeks respect, the other demands understanding, both feel that they are right, and both feel that the other party should give in to them, the conflict often becomes irreconcilable, and then, the man is caught in the middle and is in a dilemma. . Those who are capable can coordinate the relationship well, while those who are incompetent can only allow it to develop or aggravate conflicts. Then, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect the relationship between husband and wife, eventually leading to divorce.
Sixth, the personality is too strong, and it is easy to be impulsive and hasty in doing things.
Another reason why marriages fail is that the men and women in the marriage have too strong personalities and refuse to bow down. When problems arise in the marriage, they do not actively solve them, but use a confrontational method to surrender to the other party and let the other party surrender. The other side gives in. Often two people with similar personalities will act impulsively and hastily. As a result, the problems may not be enough to cause the marriage to fail, but they still impulsively talk about divorce, or actually go through the formalities. This kind of hasty attitude toward marriage decisions is often not advisable.
Although modern marriage has been open to free love, due to many factors, marriage is still a big problem for many people.
First of all, there is a serious imbalance in the ratio of men to women. Especially those born in the 1980s and 1990s, who are basically only children. When they reach the age of marriage, they realize that the girls around them are either married or have boyfriends. And they will continue to select and compare from all aspects. Don't think that getting married is an easy thing. Of course, I am not saying that they are materialistic. In fact, I have never thought that women are very materialistic!
Women have their own thoughts, which is a good thing. It is impossible to return to the patriarchal society of the past. Men having three wives and four concubines has become history and will never return. Women have their own independent thoughts and choose the partner they like. This is historical progress!
Having more men than women is just a superficial social phenomenon. The real hidden danger is that many outstanding and beautiful women are not married.
Because they have money, a house and a car, and there is no shortage of men around them, why must they choose marriage. Choosing not to get married doesn't mean they don't have a life like marriage.
The most important thing in marriage is to have a little! Appreciate each other at all times. If you feel that you are incomparable to others and worthless, then how can you love? Therefore, cherish the fate of being together and appreciate each other. That way, the other person will only become better and better, and your marriage will become happier and happier!
Lack of respect between husband and wife
Never treat your partner as a relative.
At first, I didn't understand this perspective. Shouldn't two people getting married be relatives? Legally, the definition of marriage between two people is the relationship between husband and wife, while the definition of human emotions is the relationship between relatives.
In a true sense, the best relationship is a relationship between lovers. If you love someone, you must learn to respect him, otherwise you will not fall in love.
There is no shame in getting along with relatives because there is this blood relationship and you will not care if you say and do the wrong things. Different from the other half. The other parent is not obliged to treat you like a parent. Only if you respect him will he respect you in turn.
Once respect is lost, there is no sense of boundaries between each other, just to make themselves happy, forgetting that the other person actually needs to breathe.
A marriage without respect is unlikely to last. The marriage will eventually fall into pieces, and no one can accept a lover who does not know how to respect.
02No One Mind
In today's society, empathy is very important. It is not easy for you to understand me, and I understand your hardships. There will be fewer quarrels, not to mention family wars caused by misunderstandings.
This is not easy for everyone. The couple pays for the family in different ways, and the final contribution is real. The wife works at home and the husband works outside. One person retains the normal life of the family and one person improves the quality of life of the family.
The husband understands the trivial matters at home, and the wife realizes that it is not easy for her husband to go out to do business, and cherish each other's contribution to the family, so that life will get better and better.
Marriage wouldn't be so bad if you could think of empathy. If you only consider your own contribution and ignore your partner's contribution to the family, sooner or later the balance will be thrown off balance.
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03 is too selfish to care about the other person
Only when our hearts are connected can we overcome many difficulties and smell the sound of happiness.
If one spouse is too selfish, or both people are selfish, then this kind of life will inevitably diverge, and the end result will naturally fall apart.
Most husbands and wives will keep these properties together, have one of them manage them, and hand them over directly when needed. This person is like the financial manager of the family, planning the family's large and small expenditures.
People who are too selfish and whose minds are not pure enough are unwilling to pay and then eat and drink Lazarus. Adding things to your home is the other half. Life seemed normal, but something went wrong a long time ago. As time goes by, the hole will only get bigger.
People who are too selfish will only think about themselves and not their home as a whole. Marriage bridges can easily crumble. No one is obligated to pay a lifetime bill for your selfishness.
Even if couples with unbalanced hearts have true love when they get married, true love will gradually be exhausted in life. In the end, everyone will end their own lives in their own way and go their own way.
Everyone is not a saint, so naturally don’t expect your partner to be a saint. I hope he can be perfect. Don't force your partner to do something you can't do.
A good marriage involves two people working together, getting along with each other, being part of a family, being a team player, and not just thinking about having a happy life themselves. Whether you are happy or not, you have a close relationship with the person next to you.
Only when he gets better, your life will have hope, and there will be signs of getting better and better. Working together, failed marriages are all created by humans, and likewise, happy marriages are created by humans. 
