If you live in a country of etiquette, you must "treat others with courtesy." As a parent, I look forward to the stars and the moon. When my children grow up, have jobs, and have a partner, I am really happy.

2024/12/1023:33:33 emotion 1118

If you live in a country of etiquette, you must "treat others with courtesy."

As a parent, I look forward to the stars and the moon. When my children grow up, have jobs, and have a partner, I am really happy.

When the children reach the stage of marriage, they have to meet with the prospective in-laws to discuss major marriage matters.

There are also some parents who go out of their way to visit each other's families to find out the situation and prevent their children from suffering in the future.

How should the prospective in-laws communicate with each other after they meet? Most people start by asking "how much is the bride price?" as if they are going to collect a debt, which makes the relationship tense.

Both parents are not getting along with each other. How will the young couple live in the future? They are caught in the middle, in a dilemma.

There are even some hateful parents who beat the couple and separate a young couple. After that, the children can no longer find a decent partner, and the parents regret it too late.

recommends that prospective in-laws should "ask two questions and don't ask two questions" and be a helper in marriage.

"Two questions", focusing on the future.

For many things, it’s better to ask questions clearly and talk about them face to face, so as not to “regret” later.

When it comes to marriage matters, you should take the initiative to be a clean person and communicate beforehand. Once a consensus is reached, everything will fall into place.

First, ask your neighbors for their "impressions" to know your character.

When looking for a partner, character comes first. When you meet someone with a bad character, don't ask for it even if you have thousands of dollars at home. Otherwise, it will be your children who suffer.

How to see clearly a character? Many people think that just having a meal is enough. Look at eating etiquette. In fact, many young people are very casual about dinner parties and don't care about etiquette at all.

The simplest way is to ask the neighbors of the prospective in-laws.

Neighbors watch their children grow up. They may not know everything about their children’s lives, but they have the wisdom of “bystanders know everything”.

What kind of temper does the child have and what mistakes does he make; what conflicts does the prospective in-law have in his family and how does the couple get along with each other.

A good couple holds hands when going out and helps each other; a bad couple is noisy. All this is in line with the principle of "every wall has ears". The next-door neighbors all know it, but they don’t say it in a big way.

Zhu Deyong once said: "Love shows the best side, and marriage shows the worst side."

From the marriage and family of the prospective in-laws, we can see the marriage situation of the next generation, which can be used as a reference.

Of course, don’t just ask a certain neighbor and avoid making one-sided remarks. If you encounter a "bad neighbor", you will deliberately destroy good things.

Ask a few neighbors, and after a comprehensive analysis, you will have an idea.

Second, ask the "attitude" of the family to know the plan.

"The pattern of parents is the outcome of children." As parents, we should have a big picture and think about issues such as settlement, work, income, and raising grandchildren for our children.

The prospective in-laws will arrange a banquet to express their blessings for the younger generation's marriage. When two big families sit around , you can ask questions in your mind.

When to hold the wedding reception, where to buy a house, how to arrange the bride price, who will take care of the grandchildren after the marriage... By raising the issues about children and grandchildren, everyone can reach a consensus to facilitate the next step. .

"No questions asked", respect each other.

Writer Zhou Guoping said: "A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love. It knows how to keep the necessary distance between people. This distance means respect for the other person as an independent personality."

As a parent, everyone hopes that Try to know as much as possible about the "prospective in-laws", but there are some things you cannot ask. Don't ruin the atmosphere and cause trouble in your children's marriage just because the questions are embarrassing.

First, do not ask about family privacy.

If you regard yourself as "son and daughter", you will find that during the relationship, the two people have talked a lot with each other, and they probably know the privacy of both families.

It is wrong to inquire about privacy as a quasi-in-law. If nothing else happens, the other party will not say anything.Everyone knows that family scandals should not be made public.

For example, young people have been in love several times. What caused the breakup? In the past, there were any conflicts in the family, and whether the old couple got divorced.

Everyone hopes to "end up together", but many prospective in-laws are also remarried families. Many young people have fallen in love many times and are still scarred.

Everyone makes mistakes. It cannot be said that remarried families and single-parent families do not have good children.

In the twenty-seventh volume of "Yu Shi Ming Yan", there is a girl named Yunu. Her mother died early and her father was the local beggar leader.

Although he was born in a circle of beggars, Yunu is well-educated and sensible.

After Yu Nu got married, she helped her husband study and gain fame. Finally, the husband became a household clerk, and the couple stayed together until old age. The old father, who was the leader of beggars, also left the circle of beggars and took care of himself.

No matter how rich you are, don’t look down on others, and don’t use bad privacy to resist the marriage of your children. The key to depends on the person who made the mistake and how to correct it.

Second, don’t ask relatives for advice.

There is a saying: "A relative is a relative, someone who comes to certain occasions."

Nowadays, the feelings between relatives have gradually become indifferent. Many relatives will be present during the wedding ceremony, but they don’t know what happened before.

For relatives who don't know the situation clearly, any questions you ask will be in vain; for relatives who tend to follow the crowd, answering questions based on the amount of money will be misleading.

Most of the relatives just say "good, very good" and don't tell the truth at all. If the prospective in-laws have any flaws, they will help hide them.

It is not very reliable if you are a close relative. Even if your relatives say something, don't take it too seriously.

Many people will tell you that before getting married, go to the other person’s family and inquire about it. What inquires about specifically is to tell you in general terms: character, economy, and relationships. For such a suggestion, "yes" equals "no".