Xu Yanbo said in "Cardinal Theory": "The speaker is the handle of virtue, the master of action, the end of ambition, and the text of body. It can both help the body and cover the body."
remarks It is the handle of morality, the master of behavior, the thread of ambition, and the expression of integrity. Language is like a person's cardinal . As long as it is activated, foreign objects will respond accordingly.
Language can help a person succeed, but it can also easily destroy a person.
Words and deeds are the external expression of a person's self-cultivation and represent a person's character, knowledge and self-knowledge.
A truly powerful person can avoid the sharp edge of words, be cautious in everything he does, and do not criticize others, fear others' words, and do not believe others' praise.
1
Don't criticize others, mind your own mouth
I often hear this sentence: "It is not kind to not criticize people; it is not wise to not recognize people."
In life, you must always get along with others. Not criticizing others is a sign of respect for others.
I once read such a story:
One morning, a passenger ship was parked by the river, preparing to carry people across the river.
The passengers all sat quietly until a man came up with several children. The noise of the children destroyed the silence in the ship. The man sat next to him and remained indifferent despite the noise of the children.
Finally someone couldn't bear it anymore and said to the man: "Sir, your children are too noisy, can you take care of them?"
The man raised his head and said softly as if he was awake in a dream: "Yes, I It's time to take care of them. Their mother passed away an hour ago, and we just came back. I'm at a loss, and the children are probably the same."
After hearing this, everyone fell silent, feeling sympathy and pity. The anger disappeared and help was given to the other party.
In fact, this world is like this. If you don’t know the suffering of others, you can’t empathize with it. Therefore, when encountering problems, learn more about the situation, do not jump to conclusions easily, and do not easily criticize other people's behavior.
In real life, phenomena such as not understanding the truth of a matter, jumping to conclusions, being unreasonable, and criticizing others often occur.
An ancient saying goes: "Don't judge others without their dealings."
Don't point out other people's lives at will, and don't judge others at will. You can have different opinions, but there are some things you don’t need to say out loud and some things you don’t need to expose.
When getting along with others, don’t talk too much about the rights and wrongs of others. Instead, think about the other person and their feelings more often.
Not criticizing others is a kind of respect for others; for oneself, it is a kind of cultivation and kindness.
2
Don’t be afraid of people’s words, go your own way
As the saying goes: “People’s words can be feared.” One sentence tells the right and wrong of the world.
In this world, no matter what you do or how well you do it, there will always be people who will gossip and make irresponsible remarks; no matter how right your choice is, there will always be people who will criticize and judge.
A person comes into the world not to live for others, nor to live for others. Life is your own, follow your own path, don't be afraid of what others say.
"Zhuangzi·Xiaoyaoyou" opens with such a story:
There is a fish in the North Sea, and its name is Kun. The size of Kun is as large as thousands of miles. It transformed into a bird, and its name was Peng. Peng's back was thousands of miles long, and when it flew hard, its outstretched wings were like clouds in the sky.
This bird, when the sea moves and the wind rises, its wings beat the water to stir up waves of three thousand miles, and it rides on the hurricane hovering on the sea to fly up to an altitude of 90,000 miles, and migrates to the South China Sea.
The cicada and the little gray bird laughed at Dapeng and said: "I fly hard and stop when I encounter elm and sandalwood . Sometimes I just don't fly up and fall to the ground. Why bother? How about flying ninety thousand miles to the South China Sea? "
Kunpeng doesn't care about their ridicule. It spreads its wings and soars among the mountains and rivers, enjoying the endless beauty of the world.
Kunpeng spreads his wings and has lofty ambitions; with the knowledge of cicada and little gray finch, it is really difficult to guess Kunpeng's realm.
Using small measures to make a big difference will only expose your superficiality and ignorance.
Faced with such ridicule, those who pursue dreams should not be afraid, stick to their ideals and work hard to move forward, and people will restrain themselves.
" Zhuangzi·Qiu Shui " said: "Well frogs cannot talk to the sea, summer insects cannot talk to the ice, and crooks cannot talk to the Tao."
When others do not understand us, it is often because of limited understanding. Or ignorant, we don’t have to care about their ridicule, and we don’t have to explain to them.
A person should look further and pursue a higher and broader realm of life.
When you are like a peng flying to your sea, those ridicules will stop abruptly, and the attacks will be self-defeating.
3
If you don’t believe in people’s praise, keep your own heart.
The Tao Te Ching says: “Trust words are not beautiful, and beautiful words are not believed.”
True words are not processed, so they are not beautiful; beautiful words, often the content is not credible.
Zou Ji, Qi State Prime Minister, was more than eight feet tall, with a gorgeous figure and beautiful appearance.
One morning, Zou Ji put on gorgeous clothes and asked his wife, who was more beautiful, him or Gong Xu? Both his wife and concubine said that Xu Gong was not as good as Zou Ji.
The next day, Zou Ji asked the visiting guests again, and the guests also said that he was beautiful.
However, it was not until Zou Ji saw Xu Gong and took a closer look that he felt that he was inferior to him.
At night, he lay in bed, thought about it carefully, and understood the reason: "My wife thinks I am beautiful because she prefers me; my concubine thinks I am beautiful because she is afraid of me; my guest thinks I am beautiful because she wants to have something." Please ask me.”
So Zou Ji went to court to see King Qi Wei and told King Qi Wei with his own personal example: "The people in the whole country want to please the king and get the king's care. Therefore, judging from these circumstances, the king is most likely to be deceived."
Zou Ji suggested that King Qi Wei accept the advice of officials and people. As soon as the order was issued, all the ministers came to give advice, and the whole house was like a city.
The state of Qi began to become more civilized and became stronger. All the countries of Yan and Zhao came to pay homage.
Zou Ji faced the compliments, thought and analyzed carefully, maintained a clear mind and cognition, and did not lose himself.
The King of Qi opened his mouth widely, accepted advice with an open mind, and cultivated political principles, so he could defeat other countries without using troops.
The ancients said: "Serious words and charming words are the most beautiful."
People who are clever and charming often use sweet words to confuse and please others in order to achieve their own interests.
There is nothing wrong with liking to hear compliments, but what needs to be distinguished is: behind the good words, are they sincere or duplicitous?
Don’t be fooled by nice words, and you won’t lose your true heart.
4
A person who does not comment on other people’s lives or live in other people’s words can live out his own self and the true nature of life.
Don't criticize others, keep your mouth shut; don't be afraid of others' words, walk your own path; don't believe others' praise, guard your own heart.
When you say something, be careful about what you say, and when you hear something, think carefully about what you say, and be careful about what you say.
When dealing with others, you can control your mouth; when it comes to yourself, walk your own path and guard your own heart, you can achieve spiritual freedom.
END
About the author: Xiaohe Tingyu.
