I often feel anxious, uneasy, self-doubt, extremely low self-esteem, and even insomnia. It is now 22:11 Beijing time. I have tried to put down my phone to fall asleep three times, and picked it up again to start typing on the third time. . .
Sometimes I feel that I have a lot of negative energy, but I hide it very well during the day and it is not easy for others to notice. I talk and laugh every day and pretend to be happy, but in fact I am lacking love, lonely, and self-doubt in my heart. What kind of energy is it? , maybe it is like a black hole, pulling you in, and you feel like you can't see the light, the direction, or the warmth for a while. . . . You will fall into a cycle and need to vent or cry, or confirm over and over again whether others really love you and care about you to gain a sense of existence. . . .
But in fact it is we who push ourselves into the darkness. Thinking about our healthy bodies, stable jobs, harvested feelings, and venting emotions, life still has to go on. Even if we burst into tears at night, it still remains the same during the day. It still shines brightly, and everyone’s sadness is incomprehensible, so we can only digest it, overcome it, listen to music, practice calligraphy, and read books. . . . In short, in this era where we have to choose a good time to vent our emotions, we don’t have much energy to be sad, so we try to slowly accept and change, and slowly overcome and accept challenges. After writing this, I feel much better. Look , I found a breakthrough again, tomorrow will be better and better, good night.
