Many men will cheat, which is the result of internal problems in the marriage and temptations outside the marriage.
Sometimes, it’s not that flies don’t bite seamless eggs, but that cracked eggs look for flies everywhere.
Original Wife If you want to completely solve the problem of cheating, you need to know what the internal problems are that make men cheat.
solved the internal problem, and then solved the derailment problem, getting twice the result with half the effort.
This derailment case was handled by Blue Fang last year and took nearly half a year.
The original wife, Ms. Li, and her husband have been married for 13 years. Ms. Li said that their relationship is very harmonious.
Her husband is a very honest man. He works in a technical field and sometimes works overtime.
’s salary is very high. The salary card was handed over to the original wife when they first got married. Ms. Li also has a job.
is working as a financial officer in a foreign company, and the salary is not low, so the two of them do not have any financial pressure.
has two children. After Ms. Li gave birth to the child, her mother-in-law would come from her hometown in the countryside to take care of her for a period of time.
After the two children went to kindergarten and Ms. Li could pick them up by herself, her mother-in-law returned to her hometown.
Ms. Li said there were some minor conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but there was no major friction.
She always felt that her marriage was a happy one, as her husband made money and didn't take care of much.
’s family is financially well off, and there is no need to live with her mother-in-law all the time.
She didn’t understand why her husband would cheat on her even though she was living a good life.
And her husband cheated on her not just once, but three times in total.
If Blue Fang wants to deal with an extramarital affair case, he needs to understand the mistress’s situation in order to help the original wife analyze it. The case of
is no exception. Ms. Li also talked about the situation of the three mistresses in great detail.
The first mistress and the cheating man worked for the same company, and the mistress also worked in finance.
is divorced and has a child. Although she also works in finance, her mistress is much worse than Ms. Li.
Therefore, Ms. Li also looks down on the mistress. She feels that the mistress is not young and beautiful, and her work is not as good as hers.
is divorced and a procrastinator. I don’t understand what a cheating man likes about a mistress.
The second mistress was a cheating man who met online. She was also a divorced woman.
But this mistress was younger, in her twenties, and worked as a waiter in a restaurant.
Ms. Li still looked down upon the mistress. After talking about the mistress's situation,
Ms. Li also complained that the mistress had no culture and was a waiter. What did the cheating man see in him?
The third mistress is a divorced woman with children, no job, and relies on alimony from her ex-husband.
lives in the community next to Ms. Li. She doesn’t know how the cheating man and the mistress met.
The cheating man didn’t want to say it. Ms. Li felt that compared to the first two mistresses, this mistress’ conditions were worse and it should be easier to separate.
But the cheating man was unwilling to break off the relationship with his mistress, so Ms. Li had no choice but to come to Lan Fang for help.
Ms. Li has always emphasized to Lan Fang that the conditions for mistresses are not very good.
She doesn’t understand why her husband cheats on his mistress, and she doesn’t understand what it is about mistresses that attract cheating men.
Lan Fang directly told Ms. Li what was analyzed.
First of all, Ms. Li does not understand her marriage situation, and her marriage is not without problems.
Ms. Li is the absolute leader in this marriage, and her attitude towards her husband is very strong.
This can be seen from the fact that her husband's salary card was handed in from the beginning, as well as Ms. Li's attitude when talking about various things later.
In addition, there is definitely a serious conflict between Ms. Li and her mother-in-law.
Ms. Li’s father-in-law passed away early, and her mother-in-law lives alone. If she and her daughter-in-law get along harmoniously,
her mother-in-law will not need to take care of the children, so she will have one immediately. People return to their hometown in the countryside.
A man who cheats on someone like Ms. Li would just use his mother-in-law to pick it up without giving him a good look.
Let your mother-in-law go back to your hometown if you don’t need it anymore. Isn’t this kind of behavior incomprehensible? Definitely dissatisfied.
But the cheating man did not express it, which further confirmed that Ms. Li is the leader of the marriage.
So Ms. Li thinks there is nothing wrong with a happy marriage, but a cheating man doesn’t think so.
For a cheating man, this marriage must be depressing, painful, and resentful towards Ms. Li.
Secondly, why do cheating men cheat? What do you like about mistresses?
can analyze the answer from his cheating mistress.
These three mistresses seem to be different, but they have many similarities. These similarities are the reasons why cheating men cheat.
- The first point is that the conditions of mistresses are not good, and their conditions are not as good as those of cheating men.
Why cheating men find such mistresses is because they are not too strong.
Because the conditions are not good, in front of the cheating man, there may even be a situation of deliberately trying to please, which is very humble.
This is what a cheating man wants, and what he doesn’t get in marriage.
- The second point is that these mistresses are all divorced mistresses who have experienced unhappy marriages.
Cheating men like these mistresses because they can have a certain degree of empathy with him.
Because cheating men also feel that their marriages are unhappy, they can comfort each other with their mistresses.
Finally, how should Ms. Li’s extramarital affair be resolved?
Lan Fang believes that her husband will cheat because the internal factors are greater than the external factors, and it is not the mistress who is more attractive.
But the internal problems in marriage are so serious that men who cheat need to find a mistress to satisfy their own needs and at the same time to escape the problem.
Then what the original wife Ms. Li needs to do is not to deal with the mistress, because it is useless.
Her husband cheated, not because of the mistress. If you solve this mistress, a new mistress will appear immediately.
What Ms. Li needs to solve is the internal problem of her marriage and adjust her relationship with the cheating man.
Many of the cheating men’s dissatisfaction with their marriage is reasonable, and Ms. Li needs to adjust according to his dissatisfaction.
Lan Fang said what the original wife didn't want to hear.
Many men cheated. It was indeed because he felt that living with his original wife was too painful, so he went to find a mistress.
The original wife thought she was very good to the cheating man, but in fact she was really not very good to the cheating man during the marriage.
Men cheat on mistresses whose conditions are not very good, because cheating men have really low requirements for mistresses.
They just want to find a mistress who can be nice to them and say a few nice things that their first wife is unwilling to say.
For such low-demand infidelity, it will be difficult for the first wife to solve the problem of a man's infidelity if he does not solve the problems within the marriage.
Because they have low requirements for mistresses, it is easy to find new mistresses.
If you encounter cheating and don’t know what to do, you can follow Lanfang and chat about your situation via private message.
I am Lan Fang, an emotional mentor who tells the truth and does practical things.
