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Marquez "Love in the Time of Cholera": "Nothing in the world is more difficult than love. "
Whether love is difficult depends on the object of love. If the person you love is worthy of your love and your love can be reciprocated, your love will not be difficult and meaningful; on the contrary, if the person you love is not worthy of your love and you try your best to love, but there is no change Without any reciprocation, your love will be difficult and meaningless.
Don't doubt your love because you love the wrong person. What you should give up is not your ability to love the person, but the wrong person you love. The sooner you recognize this fact and stop your losses in time, the better it will be for you, because you still have time to love again.
This should be the case with love and marriage. As long as you can be sure that you are a good person and love others out of good intentions, when you find that the person you love is not worthy of your love, you should give up decisively, otherwise everything you have paid will be It's all in vain.
Especially for marriage, don’t scare yourself, thinking that you will never be able to get out of the siege after you get married. As long as you want to leave, no one can keep you. Besides, it is very meaningful for you to leave the wrong person. Why not do this meaningful thing and let yourself stay and continue to be wronged??
The reader below has a relatively high awareness when facing this kind of problem. Let's listen to her story together.
Letter from readers:
If the quality of a marriage is particularly high, you can add all kinds of words of praise, say it is sacred, say it is of extraordinary significance. In short, as long as it allows you to work harder in running the marriage, you can brag about it no matter how much you do. OK.
But if the quality of a marriage is particularly low, do you have to praise it against your will? It does not make you happy and brings you a lot of pain. It is not sacred and has no meaning. You should give up as soon as possible.
People in bad marriages who still dare not face the reality always deceive themselves and find excuses for themselves to avoid divorce. Their pain is caused by themselves and they deserve to be unhappy.
Fortunately, I am not such a fool. I dare to love and hate. If a marriage is not good, it is not good. I have no obligation to violate my conscience to beautify it. In other words, it is my burden and the source of my pain. If I want to live an easy life and be happy, I must divorce..
If I don’t get divorced, I will live a life where I can see everything at a glance, serving my husband’s family of three like a free nanny every day. Is this the life I want? of course not!
Unless my mother-in-law dies suddenly, my miserable life will continue for at least several decades. Even if I bite the bullet and endure it for decades, what will happen after a few decades? I will be quite old by then, and even if my mother-in-law dies, my loss will be irreparable.
These issues that I have been considering were brought up when I was quarreling with my mother-in-law, but she didn’t take them seriously at all. She firmly believed that my daughter-in-law was a free nanny for her husband’s family and had to serve the three members of her husband’s family.
She obviously forced me to divorce, but she felt embarrassed after my divorce: " You must remarry my son. Divorcing just after marriage is a joke! "
Her mentality gave me another reason She is determined because her face-saving mentality is a manifestation of selfishness. In other words, she thinks her face is more important than my happiness, and would rather let me suffer in their home to maintain her face.
is also a human being. She wants to live for herself, and I also want to live for myself. If there is no way to reconcile between us, then it is only suitable for each other to be well. No one should ask the other to sacrifice their own happiness.
But I was too lazy to reason with her. My reply to her was full of anger: " I can remarry, but I have to wait until you are dead! Your face is not as important as my happiness. If you feel embarrassed, then my purpose That's it.You didn't make it easy for me before, and I won't make it easy for you now. We are considered a tie, and no one owes the other! ”
Although there are many paths that everyone can choose, no one can choose two or even more paths at the same time. She can only choose one path to go. My mother-in-law wants to torture me, but she doesn’t want me to get a divorce. It doesn't work; I am the same, it is simply not feasible to not get divorced but also to live for myself. Therefore, based on comprehensive considerations, getting rid of marriage and focusing on living for myself is the best way for me to take
Donglin Xiting. Emotional advice:
Living for yourself is always the coolest .
It should be noted that living for yourself does not mean being selfish. Although the two concepts sound similar, there are essential differences.
Selfish people are not living for themselves, or in other words, only they think they are living for themselves, but in fact they are not, because when others talk about them, people will only say that they are selfish. , instead of treating them as role models.
For example, the reader’s mother-in-law is selfish and does not live for herself. If she really wants to live for herself, she should recognize the fact that she needs to rely on her daughter-in-law in her later years. , only by treating your daughter-in-law well can you live for yourself. On the contrary, if she continues to be selfish when she reaches her old age, she will soon push herself into a desperate situation.
In other words, people who live for themselves must consider the long-term and long-term problems. Comprehensive, they never use self-interest at the expense of others. In addition to relying on their own efforts to gain happiness, they also want to gain a greater living space by living in harmony with others.
That reader is such a person, if her mother-in-law does not find it. She is in trouble, she will not get divorced, because marriage will also become the motivation for her to live for herself. But the fact is that her marriage has become the resistance for her to live for herself. For her, divorce is of course the best. Choice.
It is not difficult to understand the truth of living for yourself. The difficult thing is whether you dare to break through the obstacles and really live for yourself
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