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Rousseau " Confessions ": " I often fail in front of women because I love them too much. "
In an ideal state, if two people truly love each other, no one will fail. But looking at love in reality, not all of them meet the conditions of true love.
Everyone knows that love is a matter of two people, but when it comes to true love, some people only regard love as a matter of one person, and such people are destined to fail.
The person you love does not love you, but you are moved because you love her. Your love is just wishful thinking. The day the person you love leaves you heralds the arrival of tragedy.
In the same way, you are in love with someone, but you only want to be a hands-off shopkeeper and let the other person bear everything. The day when the other person can't bear it and leaves you also heralds the coming of tragedy..
Although the truth is simple, some people don't even understand the simplest truth. Whether such people have been let down or retaliated for letting others down, they all deserve it, because you can completely change to a sober mind. Love in the wrong way, no one forces you to love in the wrong way. The following reader has had such an experience.
Letter from readers:
My favorite sentence is: " You have to bloom quietly and amaze everyone. "
Some people are suitable for blooming in a big way, the more public the better; while some people are only suitable for blooming quietly, The more understated the better.
I belong to the latter situation. Although I once made a big deal, because I suffered a big loss, I became low-key after that.
When my ex-husband first pursued me, he boasted that he understood my feelings very well and that he liked my quiet and non-competitive way. However, after he succeeded, he didn't like me that much anymore. After we got married, his love for me became even more compromised.
What he really likes is flamboyant women. He thinks that women can only give him face by putting on makeup and making themselves look gorgeous every day. In other words, he thinks that I am ugly, that my clothes are shabby, and that I have a bad personality. In short, I am worthless in his eyes.
It can be seen from his behavior that he doesn’t understand me at all. He doesn’t understand my feelings as he said at the beginning. He doesn’t understand what it means to be low-key at all. He doesn’t want to live a down-to-earth life at all. He doesn’t want to be appropriate after he has the strength. Publicity.
I am different from him. I hope that we can work hard while we are young and bloom quietly. After we have accumulated a certain amount of strength, we will have enough confidence to support ourselves. By then, it will not be too late to show off..
The reason why I have this idea, as I said before, is because I suffered corresponding losses when I was in school and at work.
When I was in school, I signed up for a competition. Because I was full of confidence, I didn’t guard against villains. I told my roommates about my preparations from the bottom of my heart, hoping that they could support me and cheer for me behind my back.
However, I didn’t find out until the competition that my roommate had also signed up quietly, lined up ahead of me, and stole my idea. So I had to make temporary adjustments, and ultimately failed miserably, and my roommate took away the crown that belonged to me.
When I was working, there was a colleague who had a very good relationship with me. I treated her as my best friend and talked to her about everything. But in the end, I was tricked again. She put my credit on her head, and she was finally promoted. The salary was increased, and I was forced to resign.
After experiencing two bad things in succession, I became low-key. Before I bloom, I don’t want to live too openly, otherwise I will be stepped on as soon as I see some signs of success. I will definitely and Success was missed .
I told my ex-husband about my experience, but judging by his actions, he didn't take anything I said to heart.I divorced him because I was disappointed and felt that he would never be the kind of person who knows both cold and hot.
When he heard that I wanted a divorce, he was more enthusiastic than me and thought that I was humiliating him: "You actually proposed divorce to me. Who gave you the confidence? What kind of person are you? Don't you know? I must reject your proposal. , and then I brought it up again, it’s me who wants to divorce you, not you who want to divorce me, because you don’t match my request!”
I didn’t argue with him, because I just wanted a divorce, it didn’t matter who asked for it, I I have long passed the age of caring about face. Even if he went to extreme lengths to get me out of the house, I didn't bargain. I felt it was unnecessary. As long as I could successfully regain my freedom, I would have the opportunity to earn much more money than the divorce property..
He got an advantage and behaved well. After the divorce, he went around saying that I was stupid: "She is really a person who can't stand up to the wall. She doesn't even dare to fight for property with me. You can imagine how bad we were as a couple. I want to She can't even argue. "
I have been cheated by men and women, and it all has to do with relationships. Therefore, after the divorce, I decided not to talk about relationships for the time being, but only about interests. Only in this way can I bloom quietly, amaze everyone, and at the same time take revenge on my ex-husband.
There is no problem with the path I have chosen. I just have to work hard. Everything is up to me. There are no villains around me. I can devote myself to it. I only persisted for three years and my life is better than three years ago. Life is ten times better, and it can be seen with the naked eye that it is even better .
After my ex-husband heard about it, he went crazy because he looked down on me and thought that I should not live a better life than him anyway: "My ex-wife is so stupid, why should she live a better life than me?"
I heard that his mother, My former mother-in-law's answer to him was: "You are the stupid one, not her!" This kind of words is indeed like her style, because she said similar words when she stopped her ex-husband from divorcing me.
Indeed, as my mother-in-law said, the stupidest thing is that he is not me. I have been working hard and never stopped; but he, who is incompetent but thinks he is great, has been idle, thinking that he can live a better life than me. This is obviously wishful thinking.
Donglin Xiting Emotional suggestions:
Combined with the reader's marriage: Being as wise as a fool is the most cruel revenge.
When talking about this type of problem, one of the more common voices heard is: "The most severe revenge on him is to live better than his ex-husband." In fact, this statement is too general, because "live better than your ex-husband" Good” is not something to be taken lightly.
If a woman wants to live a better life than her ex-husband, unless you are ten thousand times better than your ex-husband, you should keep a low profile. As the reader said: "You should bloom quietly and amaze everyone."
Being low-key is not a sign of cowardice, but a kind of wisdom, because people are unpredictable, and it is very easy to be too high-profile before you succeed. When you encounter the same problems that reader encountered, there will always be malicious people intent on stealing the fruits of your victory, which may lead to your failure..
Take the reader’s marriage as an example. If she behaves in a high-profile manner after divorce, it will definitely attract the attention of her ex-husband. Whether he thwarts her pursuit of happiness or stalks her after she becomes rich, it will once again lead to tragedy in her life. In this way, she has no way to take revenge on her ex-husband.
Emotional revenge has a fixed purpose: to make yourself better, to make the other person envious and jealous, to make the other person unable to reach a higher level, and to severely dampen his self-confidence. As long as he regrets it, you have succeeded. This is the safest way of emotional revenge, which can not only achieve one's own achievements, but also relieve the hatred in one's heart..
