The two cornerstones of marital happiness, one is economy, and the other is sex. If one of these two is wrong, the marriage will be crumbling. Divorce is very high now, and the fundamental reason is the above two points. Remarriage is a hurdle that many divorced people can't get around. For various reasons, the conditions of remarrying middle-aged women are not equal. There are not many people who marry lowly. Let's take a look at how they are doing.
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my income is stable, I am 45 years old, the income of the country is stable, I am 45 years old, and I am 4 years old. The last time my marriage failed was due to the other party’s derailment. At the time of the divorce, due to the fault of the other party, I obtained 80% of the property, two houses and one car. thorough.
After the divorce, because of fear of being hurt again, I was single for a long time. Until the year before, I was introduced by others and met Yang Mu. He is four years younger and works in a private enterprise with a monthly income of 3500-4000 yuan. , Bring a boy, 15 years old, third grade, sent to school, come back once a week. There are houses and cars.
To be honest, I didn’t intend to get married again, and I couldn’t stand the persuasion and pressure of my relatives and friends, especially the elderly parents who feared that I would die alone. They worry about me every day. Blind date. Unexpectedly, the first impression Yang Mu gave me was very good. He was tall, white and elegant. He was somewhat similar to my favorite star Li Yifeng .
After dating for a few months, I discovered that Yang Mu is really a treasure man. He has very skillful and capable hands. I replaced all the old water faucets and light bulbs that would not turn on in my house, and even the tires of the car. He replaced me with new ones.
These years, I have been a woman by myself. One of the bulbs broke and one of the faucets was broken. I wouldn’t change it myself. It’s troublesome to hire someone. There are other things that can be used. If it is broken, it can't be used, then someone will be invited to repair it all at once.
And Yang Mu can also cook, the craftsmanship is not bad.
With these advantages, my heart moved, even the idea of having a baby with him. We lived together and had a very sweet life for a few months, but I have not been pregnant. I went to the hospital to check my for blocked fallopian tubes . Since I am too old, the doctor suggested that I directly do IVF.
So I went to the reproductive department for a full set of examinations, and found that my ovarian function had a tendency of premature aging, and the egg reserve was insufficient. Let me enter the cycle as soon as possible to get eggs for test tubes, so I started exercising, taking supplements, and hormones. Needle to stimulate ovulation, four eggs were taken after the first cycle, and they were matched with a secondary embryo and a tertiary embryo. After the transfer, there was no implantation and failed. In the second cycle, two eggs were taken and matched into an embryo, which was biochemically transformed after transplantation. Later, the eggs were taken twice, but the embryos were not up to the standard for transplantation, so the doctor gave up the transplantation.
Because we make test tubes,I gained more than ten kilograms and spent more than 100,000 yuan. Most of the money was paid by me. Yang Mu only paid a small amount of money. It's a pity that I failed after hard work. This hit me a lot, and my temper was getting worse and worse. A little thing made me angry.
His son is also getting more and more worried, poor in study, rebellious, playing games, and lying. As long as his mother picks him back, he will start working on me when he comes back, stubbornly stubborn, and I feel more and more tired.
Yang Mu also noticed my changes, and became more and more silent. There were more and more trips, and longer and longer stays in the company.
Even the married life is becoming less and less. By chance, I also found that his connection with his ex-wife seemed to increase.
I am full of disappointment and doubts about remarriage, because the test tube is required and the hospital needs to provide a marriage certificate, so we got the certificate after three months of knowing it, and now I calmly examine this marriage : 1. Too hasty. The understanding of both parties is based on the surface. They only know each other's best A side, and they know too little, or don't know, the hidden and unknown side B. The second is the economic imbalance between each other. I have two apartments, one for rent and one for self-occupation. He has no house. Since we established the relationship, he and his son have moved to my house. I bear the property fees, water, electricity and gas costs. He is married, it is considered a low-married. For the test tube, he only paid less than 10,000 yuan, and I spent more than 100,000 yuan. As a result, the bamboo basket was completely empty, and my body became swollen and obese. Doing test tube also has an impact on my career, because I ask for too much leave and my performance is much less. I don’t want to say anything, and the leadership is quite eloquent. The third is that his son is not worried, learning scum, and there is a mother in his family, it is impossible to count on him in the future. I also need to pay him to finish college, buy him a house, and marry a wife,Thinking about it, my heart is exhausted.
Oates once said that in marriage, the most devastating problem is the lack of communication, especially love, sex and money. Now, I feel that these three problems have appeared. At the beginning, the conditions were not equal. We would marry low, and I would still . But at present, apart from making me physically and mentally exhausted, remarriage is really not as good as I am alone.
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Presenter: Lin Lanlan
I am 40 years old this year, a civil servant, and I have twin daughters of 10.
Originally, I had a happy family. My ex-husband was also a civil servant. Both of us are only children. My mother’s work was in a downturn. Many years ago, bought out and started a building material store. The business is booming, and it can be regarded as earning a good family business. Their parents are both public officials and their incomes are stable. Our family conditions are equal. He is handsome and handsome. I am beautiful and gentle. Everyone says that we are golden boys and girls, a match made in heaven.
I got pregnant soon after marriage. Our family has twin genes. Fortunately, after checking, I was also pregnant with twins. But my family was so happy that my mother-in-law moved in and got married. We lived together and contracted the housework of washing, cooking, and mopping the floor at home, which allowed me to raise my baby with peace of mind, and didn't let me do anything. My husband also took great care of me.
At that time, it was the happiest time in my life. I think I was really lucky, but the good times did not last long. I waited for my mother-in-law to give birth to my next daughter by caesarean section. My face changed, and I reluctantly took care of me after my confinement. I just made the excuse that my father-in-law was in poor health and wanted to go home to take care of him and left.
My mother loves me, moved to my house to take care of me and my children, and hired an aunt. The two of them helped me with the children. The salary of the aunt was subsidized by my mother.
husband was very good to me at first, but it is inevitable to take a pair of children to jump around. After giving birth, I was emotionally unstable and sensitive. I quarreled with him at every turn. He slammed the door with anger several times. Thinking about it now, I might have mild postpartum depression at the time. The root cause of my quarrel was to get his attention, but unfortunately it always backfired.
When he came home, he was getting late and dwindling. He always used excuses for working overtime and business trips. I didn't think too much, but chose to trust him. Until the child was three years old, I received a call from a stranger asking me to repay his debt of 200,000 yuan. I was shocked. The man said that if he didn’t pay, he would come to my house and go to the work unit. Noisy. I was so angry that I immediately called him and asked him to go home, only then did he admit that he had lost money in gambling!
At that moment, I felt that the sky was falling down. He was a public official. If those people rioted into the work unit, they would lose all their faces, maybe they would lose their public office. I was crying about divorce. He begged me to give him a chance to make him change. The two children were so scared that they cried. I looked at the pair of children. I felt relieved and divorced. If you come to an adult, the man can marry again.Women can remarry, but the poor are the children, and the poor are the children.
I called the old people from both sides and asked him to write a pledge in front of them and never gamble again. Then he withdrew his family’s savings for a big house and paid off his gambling debts.
He also changed it. It takes more time to go home, and it is much better for me and my children.
However, the good times didn't last long. One year later, someone came to ask for debts. This time it was more than 400,000 yuan. It was still a loan shark. I fainted and was sent to the hospital.
After waking up, I thought a lot. As the saying goes, a dog can’t change eating shit. I can’t live with a pair of children in this quagmire anymore. This time I am determined to divorce, and the car The house belongs to me, let him go out of the house!
He cried and said to give him another chance, but I can no longer tolerate it. Finally, under the mediation of relatives and friends, the car and house belong to me, and the child belongs to me. He pays 1,600 monthly support, and I subsidize him 400,000. I don't have any money in my hand. The 400,000 that I gave him was the result of my mother's hard work in business over the years, and I gave it to him. In fact, I helped pay off the gambling debt.
After the divorce, someone introduced me to someone, but when I heard that I had a twin daughter, I hesitated. I experienced the last failed marriage and I was also disheartened and thoughtless. Look for it again.
slowly my pair of girls are getting older,Under my mother’s persuasion, I posted a marriage proposal on the Internet. There were many applicants, but they were all unreliable. Until I met Li Zhi, he worked in a neighboring city as a business manager of an insurance company. Two years old, with a boy, 9 years old.
's income is similar to mine at present, but the insurance company has a lot of personnel mobility and his job is not stable.
He is an ex-wife who loves to play mahjong regardless of family divorce. This makes me feel that we have the same disease and sympathize with each other, which resonates. He has a gentle personality and is very considerate to me. He calls on WeChat every day and asks for warmth and care. Times to.
talked like this for a few months. He came to my city and met. He was a little younger than expected. He was a medium-sized man and had an average appearance. He can only be said to be an ordinary person with good features. The kind that grabs a handful.
He also met with my parents. The parents had a good impression of him, but they raised the problem of a different place. He said that he could apply for transfer to the insurance company in my city and bring the children to live with me.
In March this year, he was transferred to work in our city, and the child also transferred to school. He rented a small house outside by himself and lived with his children. Their parents and family have come and met with my family. His family is also very satisfied with me. After all, my conditions are better than him. I have a house, a car, an only daughter, a civil servant, a stable job, and my parents are quite productive. He just has a house in his city, he also has mortgages, and his work is not stable. Our conditions are not equal. I am considered a low-married man.
In August this year,We got the certificate, he quit the house and moved to live with me. The child has also got along well with my child. The three children are about the same age and can play together. My parents just asked him to do a notarization of the pre-marital property. My family doesn’t want the money he earned. He only needs to consider his son. My two daughters don’t have to worry about the expenses of going to school and buying a house. Our family will prepare. .
Originally, I didn't want to get a certificate, but I was afraid that he said that he was not living sincerely, and he was transferred. The two of us have three children and we have no plans to have another one. Remarriage is a combined family. We have to be together and live together. There are too few conditions that are completely equal, and the conditions are not equal. We can only say that we are tolerant of each other. May go further.
Shakespeare There is a famous saying: unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a life-long struggle, no peace of mind, a happy spouse, on the contrary, a happy spouse can be chosen for a hundred years. Harmony and happiness are endless.
At least, my current life is still very good. Others are very diligent and do a lot of housework. It’s good for me, I think, as long as our property is clearly delineated in the future, we will live like this , My first marriage failed, and I was scared of being frightened. After all, people will grow old, and it is better to have a partner when you grow old than without a partner.
Regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, compared to the first marriage, remarriage is subject to more difficult tests, both psychologically and in life. There are too few people who have to find a perfect match, especially women. Marrying low, there is a psychological gap. A happy marriage requires steadfastness, loyalty, and countless useful and reliable help and mutual obligations.If you want to live well, more often than not, you should not care about it, try to understand and pretend to be confused, work together, and develop positively.
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