In the minds of many girls, the beautiful imagination of marriage is like Cinderella and the prince in a fairy tale, and they have lived a happy life ever since.
However, the reality is very skinny. Marriage is just a new starting point. After marriage, life has just begun, and trivial days follow.
However, for most unmarried single young people, finding a partner is even more sad.
Many girls will ask for their own spouse during blind dates.
For example, having a house, a car, a gift, a job and an occupation, etc., but these are the requirements of the basic situation.
However, some girls, when they are in love, plan their daily life after marriage, and even require the object to meet their own requirements, otherwise they will not want to get married.
On the forum, some netizens exposed their embarrassing blind date experience.
It turns out that the girl is an only child. She has never done housework since she was a child, and everything is handled by her parents alone.
During the blind date, the two met and talked very well, and even had the urge to get married, but the girl accidentally made a small request, which ruined a marriage.
The girl said, I don’t like buying vegetables, cooking and mopping the floor, and I don’t like doing housework. All housework after marriage is contracted by the man. But because the boys themselves are a bit machismo, he cannot accept this view.
The boy thought to himself: If you are a wife and do nothing at home, what is the meaning of such a marriage? This kind of dependent psychology, getting married seems to be looking for a father, so that he is discouraged by this love, and the two finally broke up.
01, get married,What kind of psychology is it if you don't want any change?
In real life, many young people get married, but they don't want any changes in their lives.
There is such a couple by my side.
Before marriage, the man agreed with his wife: After marriage, I need a lot of time to get along with friends. If I marry you, I won't make any changes, can you accept it? At that time, his fiancee loved him very much and accepted his request.
Unexpectedly, after marriage, men are like singles, going out for drinks with colleagues every night. After he has a child, he will not help with the child, nor will he help with housework.
At this time, his wife was very angry and questioned him, but he said: Didn’t we make an appointment before marriage? I will not make any changes for you!
I have to say that the most important sign of marriage is change.
From single to married, with a partner who sleeps in the same bed next to him, how can his life not change? Even the diet and daily life are quietly undergoing changes.
People often say that marriage is a siege. People in the city want to escape and people outside the city want to rush in.
The reality is often the same. Many people want to fall in love and want to get married when they are single, but they miss the freedom of being single when they are married.
However, the key to making a happy marriage is self-regulation and change, and finding a new balance between autonomy and intimacy.
02. In the face of differences, how to manage the relationship between husband and wife?
In real life, many husbands and wives are prone to disagreements, and they have the urge to reform their partners, which will inevitably evolve into quarrels in the end.
In fact, the differences between husband and wife stem from their differences, and their essential needs cannot be met.
In "Just Want to Live with You",Psychologist Wu Zhihong said that in childhood, children's desires are not satisfied by their parents. When they grow up in love, they tend to place expectations on their lovers.
And this can easily lead to a wrong view of love, just as some girls find their ideal father in love, while some boys find their ideal mother-like partner in love, looking for someone who can completely accept themselves.
But in fact, in love, we must learn to accept ourselves in order to have good intimacy. When there is a problem between husband and wife, we might as well think about this question:
First, are we determined to live a good life?
Second, what is wrong with our relationship?
Third, where is the problem?
Fourth, what needs in my heart have not been met?
Fifth, what can we do to improve marriage?
Only when each other learns to bear family responsibilities, they are willing to make appropriate changes to their marriage. Then marriage can go further.
What do you think of women who do not do any housework after marriage?
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