Recently, a camp bed was added to the studio. The bed belongs to me, but the person sleeping on the bed is not me. For this phenomenon, I would not find it strange. Because of this situation, it will be staged in the studio every once in a while.
And the leading actor in this play will always be the old T.
Whenever this happens, everyone's good morning greetings to old T will become unified, "Old T, why was it driven out by his sister-in-law this time?"
at first Old T will blush and argue. After a long time, he will feel helpless. On the contrary, he will be half self-deprecating and half helplessly smiling and saying, "Hey, I drank too much last night."
Love The farce of the drama was staged between old T and old T’s wife. There will be two episodes every three to five, but I have never heard of any problems with the relationship between the two.
On the contrary, we often see old T happily planning what to buy for his wife after the bonus is given, or proudly showing off his daily food in the lunch box.
This undoubtedly explains a truth, that is the old Chinese saying, "Husband and wife quarrel at the head of the bed, and at the end of the bed."
So, in love, is there a law of continual quarrel, or Can the quarrel between lovers really not hold grudges?
Quarrel is also communication
I am a person who doesn't like quarrels very much. This is because of my personality and it is difficult to change. In the face of quarrels, I usually choose to be silent, give each other time to calm down, and then look for opportunities to communicate.
Of course, this kind of treatment of mine obviously may not be acceptable to everyone. There was a girl who said to me long after we were separated, "You know,What makes me sad every time is not the quarrel itself, but your calmness in the face of the quarrel. ”
Yes, in many cases, my excessive calmness and thinking before and after have become indifferent in the eyes of the other person.
Psychology regards interpersonal quarrels as a powerful way of communicating information. Communication. The two parties are not only the exchange of information, but also the transmission and exchange of personal emotions, heart needs, attitudes, values, etc.
In essence, quarrels are conducive to the promotion of emotional communication. But it requires one A strong premise is that this communication must be effective.
Effective standards, including the reception and expression of information and emotions.
The latest research from Europe shows that 63% of people Believe that listening to others can make society happier and harmonious, but only 31% of people think that people are willing to listen to the opinions of others. Moreover, 25% of young people (16-24 years old) said that if their problems are worse, they Will not listen to any problems of others.
So, the hurt never comes from quarreling, but our attitude in quarreling. We cannot blindly vent our anger and push all the negative energy to our lover. You cannot choose to be silent and give up all opportunities to express yourself.
Excessive anger will conceal love and make it difficult to maintain the relationship. If you are too calm, you will make the other party unable to respond and cause strong feelings. Emotions are suppressed, or bounce back to yourself.
If there is no future
Face a quarrel, choose the cold war, or endure hard to avoid the quarrel, mostly from the consequences of the quarrel Worry. Worried that quarrels will affect each other’s feelings,Or it will end a relationship completely.
If you also have such concerns, then it means that you attach great importance to this relationship and are reluctant to see its end. So in terms of subjective will, you are unwilling to hurt the other party. With the blessing of such subjective will, the intensity of the quarrel will be greatly reduced.
The fierce quarrel you originally imagined may not happen at all.
But if you suppress all the problems, when they are backlogged to the edge of collapse, the negative energy that erupts will truly make you lose control of it.
Therefore, we do not need to avoid the occurrence of quarrels. Under the calm and watery life, perhaps the dark tide has already been surging. A quarrel can open a gap, expose all the problems, and give us the opportunity to face them squarely.
The problem is never caused by one person, and it is destined not to be solved by one person. After the quarrel, we can find a solution to the problem through communication, and then try together.
In every quarrel, whether it is going to collapse or grow gradually, this is a controllable variable.
If there are skills in quarreling, there is only one.
A loving quarrel is that I always remember the way I love you, love your strengths, and love your weaknesses.
I always remember the way I love you, love you, and love myself who loves you this way.
Don't be afraid of quarrels, love others and yourself.
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