115. You make up your bed
The following short story can be said to be a small floral ornament in a painting that I hope to show. The theme of the painting I hope to show is "the need to be loved"-women experience this more vividly than men. The German poet Ade-Ibert Von Chamisso wrote a set of lyric poems in 1831, which he called "the love and life of a woman". Rob Schumann composed several of these poems into beautiful music. The following are some psychological variations on the theme of "Women's Love and Life".
A married woman in her forties wants to sleep for a while next to her husband who is quiet and dreaming, but feels uneasy and almost unhappy. At the end of a series of sad thoughts, she thought of an adage: "You have made your bed, you must lie on it." This old saying did not calm her mind, but made her She was even more disturbed and confused. Then she thought: This night, like every night, she will also make her husband's bed.
was very strange, but this thought calmed her down. She thought of this part of her daily routine, and felt very peaceful in her heart. It seemed that this thought aroused her love for her sleeping husband, the same as a mother's love for her beloved child.
The woman was half-smiling, thinking of the article she had read recently, and fell asleep. What she read was the inscription engraved on the bride’s wedding ring a long time ago—“He must be treated well to his strengths, and his shortcomings must be opened and closed.”
116. A man’s thoughts
Freud once described a type of man who becomes impotent or almost impotent when confronted with a woman they think belongs to the mother or sister group.Such men will only exert their full sexual power when they have intercourse with women who they consider to be similar to prostitutes. In the practice of psychoanalysis , people often encounter this situation in the love life of some men, but this situation is often disguised or displaced. There was a patient who rarely appeared sexually competent when facing his wife; he said that she was "too feminine". He also said that he had never seen her wearing only underwear. From this sentence, he could understand his meaning more clearly. In particular, he said: "I hope she is more like a prostitute." It is easy to speculate that the phrase "too feminine" involves her sexual behavior, or that she is like his mother, which makes her a sexual taboo.
117. The bride's parents
A 30-year-old patient told me why his marriage hit the rocks. One of the reasons is that his wife's parents have a strange idea about sex. His mother-in-law told her daughter: When men are nervous, they want to have sex and sleep better afterwards. A friend of his father-in-law explained: If the bridegroom sleeps with his mother-in-law instead of her daughter, the father-in-law will be much more happy.
118. Love
Love is not blind. It sees the characteristics and advantages of its target in a shining light. Love just has a blindfold, so that lovers cannot see each other's shortcomings and weaknesses.
A historian who studies customs will know one thing, that is, in France in the eighteenth century, love was not regarded as a tragedy, and was rarely even regarded as a serious matter. Valmont told his mistress who was no longer loved by him: "My Angel, a person is tired of everything." His Angel understands that he accepts the facts, or finds comfort in other ways. At that time, the man was at ease, almost a slutty. Only after Goethe ’s "Troubles of Young Werther" became popular,Love is considered the subject of a tragedy, and people commit suicide or murder for love. But the writer Goethe himself did not succumb to himself because of unhappy love.
Men of a certain type live according to the creed of "love them, then leave them". Undoubtedly, the second part of this creed is correct, but whether the first part is appropriate is questionable. Isn't it more correct to say that this creed is "desire them, then leave them"?
Young men think one thing is difficult for them, and that is: being alone with a woman who has been in love for a long time without having sex with her. They think that only eunuchs can easily do this. It is difficult for young women to understand one thing, and that is: there is a kind of "making love without love" in the world. They think that only prostitutes can do this.
The well-known actor and singer Elvis Montand recently wrote an article titled "The Dictionary of Love". He said in the article that men "traditionally demand immediate rights, while women demand long-term benefits"-a sentence created in a charming French way.
I think of a less refined analogy: a man is like a businessman, he wants to quickly settle his goods so that he can sell his goods to other customers. As far as women are concerned, if they make the slightest criticism of women’s products, they will get angry and do not want to do business with customers. It is true that some women in their relationships with men can be compared to female shop assistants, knowing that their goods are of low quality, and are eager to sell them to anyone who wants them.
William Morris has a poem called "Love is Enough". A book reviewer made a short comment: "It's not enough." The book reviewer was right: For young people who desire sex, love is not enough, and for older people who have sexual desires that cannot be satisfied. In terms of love, it is not enough.
Even the smartest men cheat themselves about women,And even the stupidest woman is smart when it comes to men.
119. Euphemistic ingenuity
The techniques of psychoanalysis have been revised a lot in recent decades, one of which is that the first conversation before the start of treatment has changed significantly. Today's psychoanalysts can discuss more freely than previous psychoanalysts. He is free to ask related or even unrelated questions (these are questions that psychoanalysts would have avoided 40 or even 30 years ago). For example, today's psychoanalysts can freely ask about the patient's sexual life in order to obtain the necessary information for the basic direction. This technological change certainly reflects a change in our customs. In most cases, the "moderate depth" predicted by Freud-required for the basic insights of psychoanalysis-has already taken effect. Not only the content provided by the patient in the first conversation, but also the appearance of the information he gave out, may be very helpful. Psychoanalysts can therefore draw some psychological conclusions.
In this regard, there is an enlightening example from the first conversation of a certain patient. The patient is a young and a little shy woman, in her early thirties, with many signs of nervousness, and she hesitantly describes these signs. She had several difficulties in her married life, which led to open conflicts with her husband. For obvious psychological reasons, I asked about her sex life with her husband. She paused for a while before saying that she was not satisfied with her sex life. When I asked her why, she seemed embarrassed and her words flickered. She fiddled with her handbag nervously. I insisted on knowing the reason for her dissatisfaction, and she did not know how to answer. In the end, she hesitated to say: her husband had only given her "lips" for a few years. I know, this means that her husband did not approach her sexually. I asked her: Is my understanding of her correct? She looked at me with sympathy and contempt in her expression-women often show this look when they lack understanding of men. She then tried to clarify what she meant while showing reluctance or impatience towards the stupidity of men. From her clever hints (which later appeared to be clearer), I finally understood her words.
Her words are simple enough: she means,Her husband limited his sexual activity to oral sex, kissing or licking her sexual organs. She doesn't like it; she even feels disgusted. Her husband’s sex made her not only sexually dissatisfied, but also emotionally dissatisfied, because she thought it would make her lose face.
What I would like to point out is that her statement shows tact and tact; when she tells me about her sex life, she shows deft words and tacts. This is a good example of "women appear shy when talking about sensitive topics" and a superior example of "suggesting sexual perversion in a clever way."
It is wrong to think that only women can successfully express such clever hints. I forget that in that academic book on "sex" (written by men), I found that oral sex was described as "displaced kissing." As a euphemistic definition, this is indeed correct, but people cannot help but express doubts about this reluctant shyness. Why not be blunt when discussing sexual matters?
120. Sexual desire
The sexual desire of a certain object may often reappear long after it disappears. People think that they have long lost their memories of certain situations or situations, but these memories suddenly become vivid. These unexpected memories arouse those sexual desires that seem to have disappeared long ago. Those ancient experiences thought to have been buried a long time ago are revived, and people are burning in a flame that they think has been extinguished for many years. Their erection is resurrection.
121. New York Legend
Lucy put the newspaper on the table near the couch; she spread the sheets on the couch. "It won't be very comfortable," she thought, "but he deserves it. He can't treat me like that anymore." While making the bed for her husband, she cried, not only sad but also angry. She remembered that her husband had gone to a meeting an hour ago and said a sarcasm before leaving. "No," she thought, "I can't stand it anymore.Let him sleep alone. There should be a referee to decide who is right and who is wrong. Possibly, only God can be the referee between us.
She walked into the bedroom and closed the door; then she took off her clothes and tried to sleep. Her last impression before going to bed was that she heard the noise of the car driving along "Park Street." Her last thought was: "Oh, God, be our referee!"
She dreamed of standing in front of God and complaining to him that she was abused by her husband; she talked about the last time she and her husband were violent. Quarrel. The face of God reminded her of the image of God painted by Michelangelo. At the same time, she recognized the face of the Supreme Court judge; she caught a glimpse of his picture when she put the evening paper on the table. Her knees trembled and she staggered forward. She heard herself finally stammered, "He wants to live with me, but he doesn't want to live with me." The judge frowned at her with a confused look: "You have no meaning in your words." He slowly Say. "You speak as if you are mentally abnormal. What do you mean?"
She was scared and said incoherently: "He doesn't talk to me, he reads the newspaper when he goes to bed. Then he suddenly reached out to me... "Huh?" "Holy Judge" encouraged her to continue. "I can't bear this kind of life anymore. He makes me lose face. I have only one purpose." "What?" The judge urged her. "Just live with him," she replied. "But you just said that he doesn't want to live with you," the judge said.
She blushed and quickly explained: "I mean, he just wants to sleep with me, but he doesn't share anything else with me." "So, you decided not to live with him, do you mean that?" "It's not as simple as that," she said hastily. "It's hard for me to understand you," the judge said, "If he doesn't live with you, you don't want to live with him, do you?"
She felt helpless. How can she explain? "Oh, God!" She moaned deeply. When the face of the "Holy Judge" became blurred, she remembered that the "Holy Judge" was also a man, and he would not understand.
122. Showing off
In addition to shyness, there are two other factors that determine whether a woman reveals certain parts of her body in front of a man. First, it depends on whether that part is beautiful. Second, it depends on whether that part has proper and attractive dress. If a woman's feet don't wear socks or shoes properly, they won't stick out no matter how beautiful the feet are. Dior in Paris said that if a woman puts on a dress and evokes a man's desire to remove that dress from her, then that dress is beautiful. When a man wants to see a woman naked, the woman must dress well.
123. A display item
A jewellery displayed in the window, I am strongly aware of the impression I give to passers-by: a woman walks into a room where a cocktail party is in progress, and reminds people of this most appropriate and accurate simile.
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