Sister Ye:
has a very private matter and would like to ask your opinion.
I am 26 years old, single and have no boyfriend. My home is the provincial capital. The year before last, I was admitted to a unit in City A of the same province. The reason why
came here is because my parents are in the system, and they hoped that I would also have a job.
After I came to City A, I quickly found that the development here is far inferior to that of my hometown. social circle.
Not many years ago, a section-level leader, Director V, came to the unit. High-end academic talents, doctoral graduates, introduced through the green channel. Director
V's hometown is in a province in the north. His Mandarin is well-spoken and sounds like a broadcast accent.
Most of the people here speak casual Mandarin with a heavy accent, and I studied in the north of the university, and Director V made me very kind as soon as he opened his mouth.
At work, Director V also has great ideas. As a top engineering student, he always uses science and engineering thinking to deal with the text and material work of liberal arts, which gives me a refreshing feeling and inspires me in many ways.
In addition, he is calm and clear-headed when he encounters problems, and he has a high emotional intelligence at work, and can always handle various problems with ease.
The more I observe him, the more I appreciate his maturity and stability, and the more I look down on the boys of the same age who are bluffing around.
More importantly, as a leader, he was not fierce to me at all. He also expressed concern about my daily life several times and asked me if I needed help from the unit when I was in a different place.
Once I came back from a business trip with him, and in the car he talked about his college days, those years of wanton swaying his youth, at that moment I had an unreal illusion that he was not my unit leader, but Like the senior I admired in college.
In this lonely and depressing life, my emotions gradually began to dislocate, and I had a secret affection for Director V, silently paying attention to his every move, eager to get along with him alone at work.
I have inquired about his personal life. He is married, his wife is a teacher at a school, his children are in kindergarten, and his wife and children are in their hometown in the north.
Currently living alone in this city, he is trying to find a way to transfer his wife's relationship to a school in this city. The children also come here, and the family of three is about to reunite in this city.
He is a workaholic, works very hard and often works overtime. For this reason, I often create the illusion of working overtime, just to wait for him silently. Anyway, it is fine for me to go back to the dormitory alone.
But we are both in the office, I never bother him, I just need to look at the lights in his room and feel at ease.
A while ago, I had nothing to worry about in the dormitory. I made a dessert pudding. I felt that the taste was not bad. I gathered up the courage to put it in a delicate package and sent it to V's office to thank him for taking care of me.
He was stunned for a while, and his attitude was not very enthusiastic. He just thanked me and let me put it on the table.
After a while, I was sad to find that my colleagues in the next office were eating my pudding. They all said that Director V ordered takeaway for everyone, and it tasted good.
Sometimes I also get cranky thinking that if he gets divorced, I'd be willing to be with him, willing to put up with the fact that he's ten years older than me and divorced.
Then he fanned himself inwardly, saying that this kind of thinking is unacceptable.
In a small place like ours, if a leader openly engages in an extramarital affair with a female subordinate, this kind of stab will ruin his future and my life. And my parents are in the system. If they got the news, they would probably be so angry that they would kick me out of the house.
Since the last pudding incident, I obviously feel that he is avoiding me. I think he must be a very smart person as a doctor and leader. He understands my heart and feels embarrassed.
I am both uneasy and sad. I don't know what to do next, let alone how to control my heart. I ask Sister Ye for advice, so that I can find my way back.
Confused little fish
small fish:
Hello. Not much nonsense, after listening to your story, what I most want to tell you, old sister, is condensed into eight words:
You are playing with fire, which is very dangerous.
, no matter which aspect you analyze, none of it is beneficial to you.
First of all, let’s talk about the emotion you are most concerned about. We assume two possibilities, V is not interested in you; V is interested in you.
No interest is the best, then Ye Zijun will naturally not say much, you just have a secret crush on a lonely, slap, the whole drama is over.
may be detected by colleagues and leaders, and you will become a laughing stock, and you will never be able to lift your head.
and you know from the fact that he passed on your dessert to others, he is probably not interested in you, this is also a clear rejection signal, if you are interested, you should stop as soon as possible.
Seeing that his wife and children are coming to reunite, this man will not cause trouble for himself at this juncture as long as he has a little brain.
In his eyes, your actions are nothing but as annoying and insignificant as the flies buzzing around him.
Ye Junduo hopes the article ends here. But we still don't rule out that 5% possibility - what if V is interested in you and is as dazed by loneliness and freshness as you are?
Now you are happy, your crush has been answered, what do you want next? Want him to divorce you and stay with you? Or to be your soul mate and go on a private date?
Let him get a divorce, don't even think about it, at his age + education + current position, it can be said that the future is bright.
Once Chen Shimei's pot is detained, he will not want to mess around in the future. Do you think you have such great charm, worthy of his wife + son + career + beautiful life? Unless his mind is in slippers, he will choose to "give you a name".
So even if he is interested in you, most of them may just be a scumbag, let you be an underground mistress, and secretly promise you a long life.
You enjoy the thrill of cheating, but you have to be highly nervous, guard against secret rendezvous with colleagues, and fear that once you are found out, you will be ruined. Is this kind of love interesting?
Not to mention, men understand that cheating is a matter of derailment, if both parties are simply to pass the physical and mental loneliness.
I am afraid that I will have real feelings, and I will be desperate like a moth to a fire. It is simply too difficult to deal with. So as long as V is a little smarter and more rational, it will not respond to you at all.
Let's talk about your career and life.
Originally, you are in a good time now, and you have a good job in a different place alone, which is already a life that many people envy. You have a good hand, don't break it!
According to the normal trajectory of life, you either find a local boyfriend to marry and have children, and live an ordinary life; or find a way to move back to your hometown, after all, you don't like it here.
And now you have a crush on him and you can't help yourself, sending desserts is already a test on the edge of danger, proving that your heart is ready to move. This situation is very dangerous, and it is a state of taking the initiative to open your heart without defense.
As long as your leader is a little bit scumbag and sees a little temptation like you, you can't take it back. If you are not deeply involved in the world, you will be completely finished. Either your emotions will be completely fallen, or your career will be ruined.
Then imagine the following scenario, can you accept it?
V Your underground affair was exposed. His wife came to the unit and slapped you in public. Colleagues poked you in the back and scolded you for destroying other people's families; If you are willing to resign, of course it would be best;
Your parents far away from home heard your romantic anecdote, and they were so angry that they were going crazy, and your mother was even more Falling down on the sofa scared your dad to look for quick-action pills everywhere...
How much do you hate yourself that you can't live with yourself like this, and insist on going into the gutter? Wake up girl!
Okay, I'm glad you still know "getting lost", then I'll tell you what to do:
First, let go of your ridiculous aloofness, expand a new circle of friends in this city, make more friends, Divert attention to V.
Now that you have come to work in this city, try to accept her, admit that you are a part of her, and not treat yourself as an irrelevant bystander.
If you are always wary and alienated from it, then your mentality will drift like duckweed. Without a good spiritual sustenance, you will catch the absurd and ambiguous object of your leadership, and it will go out of control.
So you have to try various channels, be it colleagues, classmates, or local WeChat groups, attend more parties, meet like-minded friends, and have group activities on weekends to soothe your lonely heart.
But pay attention to safety, you must not go on an appointment with a man you do not know alone, and be vigilant against strangers.
Second, try to find a good boyfriend.
Your current crush is entirely a misplaced feeling of emptiness and loneliness. After searching around, I found the only leader in my life who was pleasing to the eye, who was married.
As long as there are school-age boys in your life circle who can get along and develop, you will not choose such a master.
It's like if you have a loaf of bread in your hand, you won't be hungry enough to eat the bark.
So listen to me, what do you do at what age, twenty-six or seven is the age to fall in love, don't close yourself up.
Open your eyes a bit, seriously consider the objects introduced by your colleagues and sisters, and get in touch with boys of the same age. Any of them is more reliable than the V in front of you.
I would like to remind you that the so-called mature, refined and capable V in your eyes also grew up from a bluffing big boy. People at different stages of life should not compare one another, it is meaningless. No matter how good
V is, it is the scenery of others on the road. Instead of being obsessed with him, it is better to develop your own scenery.
Third, ask if there is any relationship at home, you can find a short-term opportunity for you to be seconded to the provincial capital for a period of time. It's best if you can take the tune and go.
There are many temporary work classes in the province. The time is tight and the tasks are heavy. The duration varies from half a year to two years. All year round, they borrow people from various cities, eat and live in the provincial capital, and then go home after finishing their work.
Ask your parents to contact you to see if there is an opportunity for you to leave temporarily. I believe that as long as you can find it, V will send you away in a hurry. It would be best if
can be directly transferred home, but it is estimated that it will be very difficult for you.
I suggest that you leave. First, because physical isolation is the best way to cool down your heart, it will save you from meeting with your leaders every day and unable to hold your heart.
The second is to completely cut off your thoughts and give yourself no chance to make mistakes. This is also your greatest protection for yourself.
When you come back, the wife will be there, the child will be here, and the family of three will be happy, and you will naturally give up.
Fourth, draw a clear line with V, don't fool around in front of him, try not to get along alone.
Send dessert, old sister, I beg you not to do it again, next time if you are caught by a colleague, it is not as simple as being sent to others by him.
You and V, one is married and the other lives alone, and they are very close, it is inevitable that people will gossip, and there will be many discussions.
So V is very clever about your dodging, and his sense of proportion is very good, I hope you can understand it.
Summary of the article, the last two sentences:
Girl, you could have a great life. Everyone's life is only once, and by flapping our wings today, we will cause an uproar in the future.
Don't capsize in the gutter because of a momentary crooked idea, and don't easily do stupid things that make you regret for life.
(original painstaking article, please respect the original author, welcome to reprint in good faith, once plagiarism will be investigated)
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I am Ye Zijun, I have been crawling in the system for more than ten years Go ahead, tell your workplace experience honestly, and honestly teach you how to avoid pitfalls. Follow me, let you grow faster~
