Text|雪落无尘
In interpersonal communication, we need to have a bottom line, otherwise, others will only think that we are soft persimmons.
In feelings, it should be even more so. If you are unwilling to show your principles, the other party will not respect you at all.
Those who can be truly respected in marriage are women with temperaments and bottom lines.
Because whether it is a husband or a mother-in-law, as long as she steps on this red line, she will immediately protest and fight for it.
When they see your bottom line consciousness is very strong, they know not to offend.
On the contrary, women who are tolerant everywhere are not respected and cherished by their husbands, and there is no basic bottom line in marriage.
In marriage, the more "tempered" a woman is, the more a man will hold you in his palm.
So, don’t lose the bottom line because of marriage and relationships.
01
Although every marriage is imperfect, it requires two people to work hard and tolerate each other everywhere.
But in marriage, it is nothing, we have to tolerate, because when it comes to the bottom line, tolerance will become weak.
I once saw an emotional show. A man has many friends of the opposite sex around him, and he usually plays with them.
would even go out for a drink, and didn't go home until midnight, without considering the feelings of his wife.
The man believes that this is normal social interaction. Although his wife always says that he should avoid suspicion, he still chooses to make concessions. The husband is also unscrupulous again and again.
At first, he was just a bit ambiguous with other opposite sexes, but later he even brought other girls home directly.
is also indifferent to his wife, and he does not fulfill his responsibilities as a father to children. It can be said that he is of no use in marriage.
Except for the monthly house loan, other aspects have not fulfilled the responsibilities of a man.
The wife hopes that the man can change to a new job, not to walk too close to the opposite sex, and just go to get off work every day.
She believes that her husband and other opposite sexes are just getting closer and have not broken the bottom line. She can bear it. If the husband is willing to change, their marriage will continue.
But the wife does not know that no matter how many jobs the husband changes, there is no way to restore the marriage to its original state. Because the problem is not with the work, but with the husband.
And the wife has no basic bottom line. No matter what the husband does, she just tolerates it repeatedly.
Although marriage requires mutual accommodation and mutual understanding, it is not so considerate.
should be a trivial and trivial understanding of life, not a sympathy of betrayal.
Excessive tolerance will only give the other person the opportunity to do more bad things, let alone your feelings, and even treat you as non-existent.
02
Although marriage is a matter of two big families, it should be one's own small family first.
There are two protagonists in the small family, and they need to work together, instead of one party working hard while the other party does not seek improvement.
The purpose of marriage is to find an equal and independent person, not to find a child to drag it down.
Jin Jin has been married for ten years. She looks capable and has clear thinking. Although she has a successful career, her marriage is a mess.
There have been countless times. She has been thinking about divorce, but she has been struggling with it, and there is no way to solve it completely.
After they got married, their husbands became lazy, they didn't seek improvement, and their attitude was indifferent to her.
Jin Jin tried to talk to him and communicated with him, but the other party remained unchanged. Five years ago,The husband was fired at home and has been resting.
also tried to find a job, but he was not very satisfied, so he chose to spend his time at home.
Both parents-in-law and Kaneko are trying to introduce him a good job, but he hasn't taken it seriously.
Kaneko was very busy at work, but when she came home, she was very angry when she saw her husband's leisurely appearance, so she always quarreled.
Some time ago, my husband and friend said that there was a project. He wanted to cooperate, so he discussed it with Kaneko.
Jin Jin thought about her husband's hard work, so she chose to support him, and hoped that he would be self-motivated and earn money.
So, he took the savings from his family and borrowed a little from his parents. Unexpectedly, he invested the money in a certain investment platform. So much money was lost.
Jin Jin is very angry, and her husband is not willing to work hard at all. He just thinks that he can get rich overnight and win the jackpot.
The reason why she didn't leave the other party was because of the child and worried that the child would be harmed.
In fact, whether it is a man or a woman, in marriage, they should all have the responsibility of hard work.
Only two people work together to safely survive those unpredictable blows.
However, if one party is always unwilling to work hard, rely on the other party to continuously support.
The other party refuses to show his bottom line, and is always confused, so this marriage will not be happy.
03
The reason women can live happily is not necessarily because of marriage.
I don’t know if you have heard the story of the first leftover female Lu Bicheng.
When her father died unexpectedly when she was a child, other tribesmen kidnapped her mother in order to compete for her family property.
She asked her father's friends for help. Someone helped them, but the clan talent did not succeed.
My father told her about a marriage before,But the other's family had never heard the news, so they chose to divorce.
This incident gave Lu Bicheng a great humiliation, and it also affected her thoughts about love.
Lu Bicheng decided to defect to her uncle, but her life under the fence was not easy, she could only find a way out for herself by studying.
From beginning to end, she didn't even think about relying on men.
As an adult, Lu Bicheng wanted to go to school, but was opposed by her uncle. She did not expect to leave home the next day, just wanting independence.
In desperation, Lu Bicheng accidentally met Ying Lianzhi, the prime minister of Ta Kung Pao. He was attracted by the other's talent, and in this way, Lu Bicheng became a female editor.
In this life, she has done what she wants to do. Although in officialdom, she is unwilling to do things against her will for fame and gain.
Because of her independence, whether married or not, she can live very beautifully.
Nowadays, many women always only think about marriage, but in fact, everyone's life cannot only be love.
You have to have your own life and career, don’t just focus on a man.
Women should be like this, in marriage, establish a clear bottom line. You can live beautifully when you are single.
How many women have lost themselves because of feelings, and if they are a little bit sweet, they have lost their lives.
So, in marriage, there is something that a woman should keep well, so as not to be underestimated by a man. That is your bottom line and temper.
hope that every woman can be herself instead of wasting her life for others.
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