real story sequence
"Have you heard that, our English teacher is dead!" My deskmate ran over and leaned close to my ear and whispered.
"Ah! Why did it happen?" I didn't react for a moment.
"I don't know either. I heard from seniors, just in the teacher's dormitory." My deskmate glanced at the left and right, and then said it.
"It's the teacher dormitory we often go to, first floor!" I was stunned and couldn't believe my ears.
"Yes, I heard it was suicide." The deskmate looked frightened and had a little gossip.
Then he said quietly: "Hold your neck with a clothes hanger."
"..." I was silent.
It was the autumn of 2002, and I was still in elementary school, in a rural primary school. Don't worry, it's not as dilapidated as I thought. When I was in my second grade, all the teachers and students moved into the teaching building of cement steel bars. 50 meters away from the teaching building is the teacher's dormitory.
English teacher ended his young life in this brand new dormitory building. I was still young at that time and didn’t know what death means. I only knew that it was death if I could never see it again. When I was a child, I was more awe of death, but I was not afraid. I still remember that when I was in the first grade, my grandmother passed away. Many people came to my house to watch my grandmother's rituals. They just felt it was very lively and grand. Not long after, I only remember it was lively and I couldn't remember my grandmother's face clearly.
A few days later, the death of the English teacher became an open secret, and everyone was discussing it privately, but there was no official statement. In this way, everyone seemed to have nothing happened, they still studied and lived their lives as usual, and no one mentioned her name again.
I am different because I like English teachers and her ostentatious personality and unique teaching style. To be precise, it should be straightforward. In other classes, teachers give lectures and ask questions, and students sit upright and listen to lectures and do questions, except for physical education classes.
In the English teacher’s class, we can stand, sit, or sit on the table. You can jump up when you are happy. I have never experienced such a class, nor have I experienced it in my future student career. She said that learning can also be happy and casual, and it does not have to be "sitting upright" to learn, and life is learning everywhere. She is not tall, has very white skin, and has a bun, like a cute big sister.
In an ordinary rural primary school, it is rare to have such an English teacher. I still remember her name.
Wang Zengqi said: "I once had a huge wave of water. I really look down on the salted duck eggs in a foreign land."
I used to be in trouble, but other English teachers really didn’t like me more.
The teacher was very lively and cheerful. He chatted with his classmates like friends after class. I couldn’t accept the fact that she suddenly passed away. What I was even more unexpected was that I heard that the cause of death was a very cliché sentence: be trapped by love.
At that time, I didn’t even understand what love was. When I heard these words, I sighed and said, “What is love in the world?”
Teacher's love life, we have never known about it, nor do we know if that love is worthy of giving back to her with her life. After that, we students who loved her never delved into the specific reasons for the matter. We only knew that we had never seen her again.
The dormitory building is still crowded, and in another semester, no one will talk about her again. A new English teacher came to the English class. The lectures were in a normal manner, there was no active atmosphere, and there were no more students who could sit on the table and jump around.
Living in the countryside, there are always all kinds of sayings about death. What is popular should be that people will become ghosts after death, and ghosts are terrible things in the world. They will scare people, eat people, and have various superpowers, just like what is said in the Stories from a Chinese Studio.
In short, it is just fear. At night, in the countryside where I can’t see my fingers, I always think of ghosts, who are so scared that I dare not go to the bathroom, and even wake up in the middle of the night, I am afraid that there will be ghosts watching me around.I would imagine these ghost images as deceased grandparents or deceased grandparents in the next door. Anyway, they are familiar people and people who are usually close to you.
However, I actually feel afraid of my familiar relatives, afraid that they will come back to harm me, which seems unreasonable. People who are not familiar with each other will not, such as distant relatives who are not very familiar with each other, such as those who have only met a few times, a classmate's grandmother. If you hear the news of these people's deaths, you may forget them in two days.
Because of intersection, love, hate, and love, you will have infinite associations with a person, whether good or bad. I remember a classic line: I will come back to find you if I become a ghost! Maybe I was one-sidedly influenced by these literary works.
Whether they are alive or dead, they accompany us to varying degrees, fearing what once scared us, and obsessed with what we once thought.
For death, we have infinitely rich imaginations, awe and fear of death, and more of negative imagination and smear. People die like a lamp extinguishing. I wonder if it is really worth fearing?
"The son does not speak of strange powers and chaos in the gods", even the great sages of ancient times kept a distance from ghosts and gods. Perhaps, the uncontrollable ideological trends are worth fearing.
Unexpectedly, this nostalgic story suddenly turned into a ghost story.
In countless dark nights, in my wild imagination, the image of an English teacher never turned into a ghost scared me. Every little thing I can think of about the teacher is actually a warm memory. I often dream that the teacher did not die, but just went to another city and took another group of children to sing and dance freely in class. At that time, I felt both lost and happy.
woke up from the dream, full of loss.
