"To be first in the test" "To get good grades".
When we keep saying these words, how do children feel?
I think the growth of the new moon in the TV series "Grow Up With You" will tell us the answer.
-year-old Crescent is from a well-to-do family and is attending a kindergarten class. At a young age, she has to study more than five interest classes every day, piano, English, French, ballet, and logic. Although Xinyue likes them all, she often worries about the results of these interest classes.
Because her father Gu Jiawei is a typical "transcript parent".
Gu Jiawei has invested a lot of money in the training of his daughter, and has his own expectations, that is, he hopes that his daughter will take the first place in everything. As long as he doesn't get good grades, he will be furious and feel that his efforts are not worth it.
Once, New Moon was going to take a piano grade test. My father told me to "make sure to get good grades and get first place", but as everyone knows, good grades and first place have become a lingering shadow in Xinyue's mind.
Sitting in the classroom where she took the exam, she only remembered the voice of her father's instructions, but she couldn't recall the songs she practiced before. Distraught, she could only play around.
When her father knew that she failed the grades exam, she scolded her face to face: "I spent so much money, what about the result of my training? Let alone the first place, I didn't even pass." Crying:
"I hate daddy, I hate daddy."
"I like to play the piano very much, but I don't like that you let me take the first place. As long as I think of you letting me take the first place, I can't play the piano well. "
The "hate" and "dislike" in this sentence stung Gu Jiawei's heart and made me feel distressed.
In fact, we all carry the shadow of "Gu Jiawei" to some extent. Good grades can give you more chips for success in future competition.
However, just focusing on "good grades" will actually make children lose something more important than grades.
Good grades may not necessarily lead to a better future Du Qingyun, the second place in the science college entrance examination in Hunan Province, entered the Guanghua School of Management of Peking University with a high score of 704. Seemingly bright future, he made a decision that shocked his parents - to drop out of Peking University.
It turns out, Du Qingyun has always regarded the pursuit of high grades as his biggest goal. Because in his father's concept, grades are the right to speak, and only with good grades can you have a good life.
However, in college, grades are no longer the only thing In addition to grades, the school will also examine each student’s participation in clubs, enthusiasm for social activities, etc. These changes made it difficult for Du Qingyun, who has always been aiming at grades, to adapt.
He became withdrawn and not Going to class again, playing games all day and all night... Frequent failures made him physically and mentally exhausted, and in desperation, he had to apply for dropping out.
Jiangsu Province Xishan Senior High School Principal Tang Jiangpeng once pointedly pointed out: "If a child only has scores, he may not be able to win the big exam in the future." It is easy to fall into a state of confusion, just like Du Qingyun.
You must know that if you want your child to move forward steadily, there is a more important "motivation" besides grades.
Compared with good grades, lasting interest in learning can make children win the future.
In the TV series "Little Shede", the principal of Fengfan Primary School had such a thought-provoking conversation with the head teacher:
"Those who have worked hard to get high scores enter Hanlin Middle school (key junior high school) children have average grades in the college entrance examination or even after entering university.
This means that children's learning motivation, vitality, self-discipline, and ability to think independently have already been overdrawn early in the rush stage of junior high school. ."
That is to say, when the child's learning only has scores left, the love and interest in learning has long disappeared under the pressure of scores. Only by maintaining a long-term interest in learning and hobbies is the key to enabling children to win in the future.
Looking at the present, we will find that those who succeed are never those who pursue scores, but those who maintain a strong interest in learning.
Qiu Chengtong, a world-renowned mathematician, did not get good grades in mathematics when he was a child, so he was not a "mathematical genius" in people's mouths. He became a great mathematician mainly because his father was not a person who only valued grades.
Compared with grades, fathers value the cultivation of their son's interest in learning more.
Although Qiu Chengtong's grades are not very good, he loves reading books, especially martial arts novels. The father plans to start with the martial arts novels that his son is most interested in, and then slowly guide him to read a large number of Chinese and foreign classics, whether it is poetry or prose, whether it is philosophy or history, Qiu Chengtong will dabble in them one by one.
Because of maintaining a strong interest in learning, Yau Chengtong found interesting things in mathematics. After entering junior high school, he was fascinated by plane geometric figures, and he began to explore mathematics. With his love and desire for mathematics, he climbed one mathematical mountain after another and eventually became a generation of mathematics masters.
Therefore, Qiu Chengtong has always emphasized: 's cultivation of children's interest determines a lifelong career.
does not pay attention to the level of the temporary score, but starts from the child's interest and feeling in learning.
When learning brings them a pleasant and cheerful feeling, they will always maintain their love for learning and keep learning, and children who keep running on the road of learning will naturally not be bad in the future;
On the contrary, if learning The pressure, tension, and even repression brought to them will make children fall into the mood of weariness, resist learning, and avoid learning.
Do these points well to ignite children's interest in learning
Children who are driven by interest in learning, even if their scores are not satisfactory for a while, their love for learning will motivate them to start again and move on.To ignite children’s interest in learning, we can start from the following points:
❶ In front of children, don’t talk about grades Pay attention; what parents think is important, children will also think it is important.”
If we are too obsessed with grades, children will follow our example and only pay attention to their own grades, but will not feel the fun and sense of achievement brought by learning.
Bai Yansong has a special requirement for his son, that is, "don't be allowed to take the first place in the exam", and even jokingly said before his son's high school exam: "The first in the exam will cut off the father-son relationship."
Bai Yansong's indifference to grades affects his son, Without the pressure of grades, the son brought surprises to his father many times in his studies.
Therefore, we might as well throw away our obsession with children's grades, and ask more about children's feelings about learning, what they have learned, and what they have realized that deserve our attention.
❷ Respect the child's interest in learning
Like Qiu Chengtong's father, the one who stimulates the child's enthusiasm for learning is Cao Yuan's father.
In April this year, Cao Yuan, who is known as "the driver of graphene" by the outside world, has published his paper in Nature for the 7th time. His greatest hobby since childhood was doing experiments.
The child's interest, his father saw it, he took the initiative to build a small laboratory for Cao Yuan himself, with all kinds of experimental equipment for physics and chemistry.
It can be said that Cao Yuan's scientific research started in that small laboratory.Every day when I come home from school, I plunge into the laboratory, learn circuit knowledge, do chemical experiments, and simulate synthetic chemicals...
Children like small animals, we might as well take him to more contact with animals, and guide him to read more about animals. Books;
The child is obsessed with music, we can let him learn a musical instrument and learn about the development of music history with him;
The child loves nature, we will go to see the mountains and the sea with him, let him see it in books Invisible scenery;
...
The greatest respect for children's interest in learning is the confidence that leads him to move forward.
❸ Use encouragement instead of blows to ease children's anxiety about grades.
Seeing children's bad grades, we may be tempted to curse. But the father of Suqian, Jiangsu, used another way to take his child out of his anxiety about scores.
htmlThe 111-year-old son only got 7 marks in the exam. Seeing his sullen appearance, his father decided to buy a car of fireworks to "celebrate" the child. In the eyes of the father, 7 points is already a big improvement, because children often test 0 points in the past.
The father's alternative encouragement allowed his son to gradually step out of the shadow of his grades. In the next exam, the child scored 57 points at once, which is really a big improvement.
You must know that every little progress your child makes is worth our encouragement. Instead of hitting with encouragement, children have been learning in a relaxed, enjoyable environment, and they will eventually discover the joy of learning.
In March of this year, General Secretary Xi Jinping pointed out "Education should not pay too much attention to grades, grades are temporary, and education should be viewed from the growth goal of life." measured in points.
You must know that in a child's growth journey, scores only represent temporary success, as short as fireworks. And lasting interest in learning can benefit children for life.
is a machine that wants children to be reduced to fractions? Or to be the winner who has the last laugh?
is something every parent should ponder.
