More and more parents are starting to pay attention to their children's emotional intelligence.
They hope that their children will become people with high "double quotients", not only smart, but also understanding of the world, and they are welcome wherever they go.
But emotional intelligence is not formed congenital, but cultivated. Professor Li Meijin, an educational psychologist at
, believes that a child’s emotional intelligence cannot be separated from his family and parents.
If parents have high EQ, their children will gradually have high EQ.
If the child has the following 3 characteristics, parents must pay attention to it, this is the performance of low EQ.
The ability to withstand pressure and endurance is low
A few days ago, another student committed suicide by jumping off the building.
is a 14-year-old boy who was invited by his teacher to his parents because he played poker in the classroom.
His mother scolded him in front of all his classmates and slapped him three times. He kept his head down and did not resist.
Then, turned around and climbed up the corridor wall, and jumped down.
In fact, everyone is wrong in this matter, but tragedy can be avoided completely.
As long as the mother learns to teach her children, not directly venting her anger on her children, as long as the children's psychological endurance is strong enough, don't be true to their mothers and teachers.
But parents who are accustomed to hitting their children will raise children who can resist stress and have poor endurance.
is always denied and attacked by parents. Children grow up in an insecure environment since they were young. Their hearts are fragile and they cannot trust their parents.
locks all negative emotions in the heart, once accumulated to the extreme, it will explode, causing irreparable consequences. The so-called "high emotional intelligence" of
is not only to get along with others, but more importantly, to get along with yourself and the world.
If you want to cultivate strong children, parents must:
1. Don't look down upon children
Each child is unique. Similarly, each child has the possibility of becoming outstanding.
Parents should treat their children with a normal mind, do not expect too much of their children, and cannot despise children.
Children trusted by their parents have dreams in their hearts and sunshine in their eyes.
2. Groom children's emotions
Everyone has emotions, but everyone must be responsible for their own emotions and not easily anger others.
Parents must first learn to control emotions, because everything you say and do will have a direct impact on their children.
then helps the child to smooth out his emotions, guide him to express his feelings, and release bad emotions during the chat.
3. Always encourage children
Every child wants to be better, and also eager to be recognized and appreciated by their parents.
Parents should learn to discover the bright points of their children, often praise their children for doing well, and encourage their children to work hard and persevere.
Children who are often encouraged by their parents will become stronger and stronger and dare to confront the world.
is grumpy and tantrums
Many parents ask in the background: What should I do if my child is grumpy?
"My son is not happy when he was said a few words, I said he is for his good, how can he teach me like this!"
"Every time he breaks a toy, he loses his temper. After talking about him many times, he still shows his face Show me!"
...
children are irritable, playful, and lose their temper. Is it really just his problem?
No, a grumpy child must have at least one grumpy parent.
has been influenced by parents since childhood, so when children encounter problems, they will first vent their emotions and express anger or dissatisfaction.
If parents often beat their children, their children will use violence to solve problems when they grow up, and they lack patience and love when they encounter problems.
has a psychology point of view: people who are grumpy are largely because they have not been loved.
Parents love children, it is not a kind of nature, it is not that you feel that you love children, children can feel it.
Learning to love children is a compulsory course for every parent and an indispensable EQ lesson for children.
1. Accept all children zParents must affirm the good side of 2z
children, and accept the bad side.
Don't always think about changing children. Every child is eager to be respected and accepted before he can develop his own personality.
Children who are respected and accepted also know how to respect and accept others, and he will seriously consider parents' requirements and suggestions.
2. Patiently educate and demonstrate
When parents and children conflict, any simple and rude prohibition or beating is harmful.
How parents deal with emotional conflicts, and how children will deal with emotional conflicts.
Be patient to explain to your children, be careful to demonstrate to your children, please remember to give your children a positive energy education.
3. Guide the child to find a solution
For example, if the child does one thing wrong, the approach of low EQ is crying, and the approach of high EQ is to solve the problem on the matter.
tell the child that you understand that he is sad, but it is wrong to do so. Is there a better solution?
educate children not by instinct, but to cultivate their stable emotions, problem-solving skills and gentle empathy. He will become a popular person.
is self-righteous and does not take responsibility
Now living conditions are better, and parents are more and more spoiling their children.
What's good will be sent to the child, and what's bad will not be touched by the child, and all the children's requirements are unconditionally met.
Excessive pampering parents may raise a self-righteous and self-centered child.
When the child is forming a worldview, if the child is not allowed to understand that the world will not give anyone privileges, and no one will take everyone’s help for granted, he will really think that the world revolves around him.
only cares about my own feelings, never consider others, let alone understand and sympathize with others. Children like
will easily get into trouble in the future, and will be hated and isolated by people around them.
When he makes a mistake, he will not realize his own mistakes and responsibilities, but will put all the mistakes and responsibilities on others.
A child who will not take responsibility will not be able to achieve a major event, and it will be even more difficult to be independent in the future.
For self-righteous children, parents must use their strengths and avoid weaknesses and solve problems in a targeted manner.
1. Recognizing the self-confidence of children. Children like
are actually more confident. This is worthy of recognition, but this self-confidence may be blind. Parents should help children distinguish clearly.
Once a child is self-righteous, parents should remind the child to conduct appropriate training to make the child's self-confidence more positive.
2. Let the child bear the consequences
After the child makes a mistake, parents should not rush to solve the problem for the child, but let him take the consequences of self-righteousness and shirk responsibility.
all say "eating one's ditch and gaining one's wisdom", let the children learn their own experience and lessons, and then avoid repeating mistakes in the future.
3. Guide children to realize their own responsibilities
Children’s understanding of the word "responsibility" is vague. If parents don’t make it clear, children will not know what responsibilities they have. The reason
should be said is to say more. Repeatedly tell the child that learning is his business. Normally, if you want to do your own things, parents can't help.
Parents should also lead by example and let their children understand what it means to take responsibility, what it means to be responsible for themselves and others.
As a parent, teaching a child a lesson on good emotional intelligence is to give him a valuable asset in his future life.
Source: This article was first published at home and school, the author, Xi Zhao
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