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Children who are difficult to discipline tend to be more active in their thinking, more hands-on, and innovative. Parents should be happy for this.
Recently, a mother complained to me that she was going to be upset by her 9-year-old son.
Because it is summer vacation, the child goes to bed late every night, so he wakes up very late in the morning. One day it was almost 11:30 and she called the child, but he still didn’t So she called the child a few more times.
When the return feeling is disturbed, the child becomes impatient.
The holiday cannot give me a good rest!
I'm so annoying, let me study every day, don't let me sleep for a while!
Mom is also very angry: I don’t sleep at night,I can't afford it in the morning, and I have to disrupt my biological clock.
But the boy not only didn't get up, but also shouted at her:
is not the usual strong 44 span now!
The child talked back more than once. Due to the long stay with the child during the summer vacation, she found that the recent children became increasingly impatient with her teaching.
Why do I have to listen to you?
If you don’t want to watch TV, how can you watch your phone?
How do you know I did it?
……
The child’s mother is very worried. Will he be rebellious when he is young now, and will he be rebellious?
Actually, it’s not an isolated phenomenon that children talk back.According to survey data, accounts for about 70% of children who will talk back, and 75% of parents think that talking back is the most annoying behavior when children grow up.
In a variety show "After School", a pair of parents from Chongqing confessed their biggest worries: _p9p
One of my problems, sometimes my father and I are both speechless by the child's anger!" ▶ Daily sharing of newborn care and parenting knowledge points I pay attention to... In the process of playing the violin, he successfully stunned his father until his blood pressure soared.
Dad: The posture is wrong.
Son: You can’t, you will teach me bad.
Dad: You have taken gun pills.
Son: You just took gun pills.
Dad: Will you talk back to me again?
Son: You can talk back to me again!
believe many parents have such distress:
you call him east, he was partial to the west;
you He has a long heart and a long heart, and he has a lot of reasons waiting for you;
You plan his life with a long-term perspective, but with him, this is a violation of his life.
There are other children who are particularly overbearing. They are not talking back at home at all. They are simply verbal suppression, and parents are not allowed to speak. They may be directed at one person, even with swear words in their words. General knowledge with children,Most of them ignore the child, even angrily threaten the child, if you say it again, I will beat you up.
When the child talks back, the parents become more angry and fall into a "strange circle" and start quarreling for quarreling.
Chinese People’s Public Security University Professor of Criminal Psychology and graduate tutor Li Meijin once gave a lecture about how children can talk back and talk back.
1. But you will know that you will not be angry when you talk like this.
2. Dad wants you to say when you are angry, Dad, I’m not happy anymore, I’m upset, instead of saying, you are a bad dad and I hate you.
3. When we go out,But when the child doesn’t leave, you can say this, baby, we will set off in three minutes. Prepare yourself. Do you want to wear red shoes or blue shoes.
In daily life, listen more to your children's opinions and give them more options, so that children will less and less talk back.
However, in the face of children's various talkbacks, especially children who are used to talking back, what can parents do besides being angry?
What does the child want to express?
Parents talk back to their children. Apart from knowing some ways to stop talk back, where is the root of the talk back?
Please remember: When the child and the parent talk back, it is the best time for the child to establish a logical relationship.
Correct guidance is like a wonderful debate game. There may be winners and losers, but both sides have gained a lot.
How to make talkbacks have educational meaning
In reality, many mothers understand very well that they accept children’s talk back, do not quarrel with them, and are good at listening. Even if it is a lot of children’s fallacies, they will accept them all without refuting them.
However, if the child is growing up, if the child is not properly guided and left unattended, the talkback will become worse.
Setting aside to talk back to the mother is a disrespectful behavior against the wishes of the parents, and speaking back is not entirely a bad thing.
Remember a great debate? In fact, they are all discovering problems with each other and pushing them back. From this perspective, our children have been training their logical thinking skills since they were young.
Therefore,In the process of arguing, if the child can summarize what he wants to express, tell his mother.
Then apply my mother's principles to my personal situation.
This kind of thinking training is very helpful to the establishment and development of children's logic.
When a child opposes a mother’s opinion, first of all, it means that they already have their own wishes. It is a manifestation of the child’s self-awareness. They know their own preferences and needs.
Secondly, when children express their opinions, they have a higher sense of identity with themselves and increase their self-confidence. Finally, when the child talks back with his mother, he needs to refute his mother's point of view and has stated his own views and thoughts.
In this process, let children better establish their own logical relationships, and at the same time exercise their language organizational skills.
As a parent, pay attention to the child’s language organization and logical concern. Even in the process of talking back and discovering that the child has grown, you can praise the same, but you must distinguish the child’s meaningless talk back. Swearing, threats and other bad talk back, this requires criticism. ▶Daily sharing of newborn care and parenting knowledge points I pay attention to...
The correct way to talk backIt can let the children grow up, keep the parents from getting angry, and let the onlookers admire it.
Not all talkbacks can benefit children. Let the child talk back to establish a logical relationship, it needs the assistance of parents to complete.
When talking back, the most common mistakes are the following.
emotions:
when the parent’s emotions are usually hard to control their own mouths. The reason is also very simple. You were born and raised by yourself. Do you dare to talk back? But in fact, parents feel that when their authority is challenged and humiliated, this emotion is very complicated, so it is easy to waste an opportunity to help children establish a logical relationship and turn it into direct punishment and stop.
Therefore, parents need to discuss things in a rational way, instead of using violence to show their authority.
consistent with words and deeds: _p7strong
Continue to press the original set after the noise.
For example, many children like to watch mobile phones, play with mobile phones, and don’t like to read books. Their mother taught them: If you don’t read and study well, you don’t want to watch mobile phones this weekend. The child promised to stop reading books. The price was that he stopped reading his mobile phone on weekends. He thought in his heart, but he could still watch TV and play with toys. But the mother just wanted to threaten the child not to look at the mobile phone and induce the child to read.
But after you really put it down like this, your mother will feel that this time is not wasted, and you will regret it afterwards. Instead, you can read and study and allow you to play on your mobile phone. ▶I pay attention to the daily sharing of knowledge of newborn care and parenting.
seems to be a workaround, but in fact it is not. The child’s logic is established through the trial of not looking at the phone but playing with toys. built. Because of an improper guidance, mother caused herself to be there by the general.
How to solve it? Be consistent with words and deeds, Next, mothers need to keep their promises. This will not only allow the child to establish the correct logical relationship, but also make the mother's words more convincing in the future. Otherwise, it will all become sophistry.
How to reduce ineffective back-talk
span1 is really annoyingHow to reduce ineffective and boring back talk?
1. The power of a role model is infinite
span 1span if you want to be with your parents The difficulty of children talking back is conceivable. Lead by example, respect your words and deeds when you meet your elders, and learn how to do it.
2. Reduce the spoiling and find that the spoiled parents are not used to their shortcomings and find that they are not used to their shortcomings. If it is really because of indulgence that causes the child to talk back, it can only start from the root cause. Only by getting rid of the spoiling atmosphere of children, can the talk back phenomenon be reduced.
3. Create a democratic family atmosphere
1 May wish to create a sufficient democratic atmosphere at home, listen to whoever speaks the truth, and encourage children to express their feelings at any time, and resolve their grievances at any time.
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