is different from previous years. As more and more parents attach importance to education and improve their awareness of education, it has become the consensus of many parents to raise children slowly. Everyone knows that educating children is the same as growing crops. If you are impatient, you need a slow raising process, and only slow raising can "soak" the child's high EQ. However, parents have different opinions on how to raise children slowly, and they all have their own opinions.
1. The five most important cognitive areas in the construction of emotional intelligence,
, mentioning slow cultivation, it will inevitably fail to get around the concept of " leisure education ". Although the concept of "leisure education" is a relatively unfamiliar concept to some people, it can be roughly understood with a little bit of literal thinking.
Leisure education, as the name implies, refers to educational activities carried out in leisure time. Leisure education in the modern sense refers to allowing learners to obtain certain changes through the use of leisure time. These changes are manifested in beliefs, emotions, attitudes, knowledge, skills, and behaviors.
One of the most important functions of "leisure education" is to improve children's emotional intelligence, which is what we usually call "EQ". It is very important to pay attention to the construction of children's emotional intelligence since childhood, and a child with high emotional intelligence will undoubtedly be easier to succeed in the future .
The 5 most important cognitive domains:
1
Self-awareness domain
As the saying goes, knowing the enemy and confidant is the only way to survive. Sufficient knowledge of oneself is an important prerequisite and a very important part of the construction of emotional intelligence. Specifically, parents should guide their children to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, understand their feelings and needs, understand their ideals and goals, etc., and have a clear positioning of themselves.
2
The importance of self-management in the field of self-management
is undoubtedly important. Of course, we know that it is not easy for children to understand and control the management of their emotions. This requires us to teach them the precious ability to think before action, before doing anything. You can't be arrogant, you have to experience some thinking before you act. And this ability requires a long trial and error process to settle and gradually stabilize. This is in fact the same truth as the ancients' "think twice before acting".
3
The field of self-motivation
allows children to have long-term goals and short-term goals for them, these goals come from inner motivation. Drive children to work hard in order to achieve their goals, and to achieve them.
4
Empathy field
Empathy embodies a person's mind. A child with empathy is good at hearing the opinions of others, can take care of others' emotions, and can fully understand their feelings.
5
Social competence area
Social competence is one of the important areas to expand children's interpersonal relationship. From the perspective of family parent-child relationship, a child with good social skills will often communicate more smoothly with parents. Conversely, children who are unable to handle the relationship with their parents will also show negative performance in external interpersonal relationships.
From the above five abilities, it can be seen that EQ almost dominates all aspects of children except academic scores. What needs to be clear is that these five emotional intelligence abilities must be developed only after the day.
2. Starting from the five abilities of emotional intelligence, adding to children's acquired advantages
scientific research has long proven that the factors that determine a person's success mainly come from emotional intelligence, not IQ. Daniel Gorman, a PhD in psychology at Harvard University, once used the three indicators of "pure technical ability, cognitive ability and emotional intelligence" to measure the ability of managers. The results of the
survey surprised many people: Among the three ability elements that determine a person’s success, emotional intelligence is obviously much more important than the other two abilities. Dr. Z2z
Gorman also found that different from human IQ, which is affected by the genetic genes of parents, the level of emotional intelligence mainly depends on acquired cultivation. Whether children can develop high-quality emotional intelligence, this involves the parents' cognitive ability and the importance of attitudes.
In other words, even if our children are genetically "lagging behind" and do not have an innate advantage, we can still work hard to find another way to changeThe child's acquired advantage is supplemented, occupying the commanding heights, and creating the possibility of success for the child. The more parents attach importance to the cultivation of emotional intelligence and the more appropriate the education and guidance methods, the greater the possibility that children will have high emotional intelligence. The advantage of emotional intelligence can mobilize all advantages to exert strength. A child with high emotional intelligence may become an outstanding talent in various fields in the future.
An excellent parent should put more energy and focus on cultivating the child’s acquired EQ advantage, especially starting from the five abilities of EQ to add to the child’s acquired advantage.
Third, in the children's emotional intelligence training, we must avoid the following five wrong practices:
01
Don't neglect the cultivation of children's overall emotional intelligence ability. Mainly manifested in the excessive spoiling of children; only seeing the importance of the cultivation of intellectual factors, but ignoring the cultivation of more important non-intelligence factors.
02
Don't neglect the cultivation of children's self-recognition ability . The main manifestation is ignoring or even stifling the cultivation of a child's independent personality. A child who lacks personality independence cannot have a scientific self-awareness of himself.
03
Don't neglect the cultivation of children's self-management ability. It is mainly manifested in the fact that parents are overly pursuing their children’s academic performance, and driven by educational anxiety, they often punish their children physically; in terms of life, it is another form of extreme, such as not satisfying children’s material pursuits in principle, etc. Wait.
04
Don't neglect the cultivation of children's self-motivation ability. The main manifestation is that parents are keen to use substances to stimulate and encourage their children, but they fail to provide positive guidance to children from the spiritual level and internal drive.
05
Don’t neglect the cultivation of empathy in children. Many parents do not pay enough attention to the cultivation of empathy for their children because of their own lack of empathy, and lack of empathy can seriously damage the cultivation of their children’s acquired advantages. Therefore, parents should start from training their children. "Learn to respect, learn to listen, learn to empathize and learn to accept" and so on to shape children's empathy.
4. How to help children form high-quality leisure values and leisure content
As mentioned earlier, one of the most important functions of "leisure education" is to improve children's emotional intelligence. When we solve the problem of emotional intelligence training, we must Returning to the theme of "leisure education", we will explore two issues in more depth. One is how to help children have high-quality leisure values; the other is how to help children have high-quality leisure content.
1. How to help children form high-quality leisure values
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In life, parents should subtly guide their children to have high-quality leisure values, and not simply equate leisure activities with ordinary rest and simple entertainment In order for children to have such correct values, we cannot rely on preaching alone, but we must let children cultivate this awareness through experience.
For example, "the joy of reading a good book and the joy of eating a KFC", parents can guide their children to experience these two different joys, so that children can understand the different results brought by these two joys: One is spiritual happiness; the other is the happiness of satisfying the appetite. Of course, these two kinds of happiness are needed in the process of children's growth. What parents have to do is to let the children slowly experience and perceive them, find the differences between these two happiness methods, and form high-quality leisure values.
2. How to help children have high-quality leisure content
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A person who has no long-term interests is destined to be a lonely and boring person. Therefore, parents should slowly lead their children to discover one or more high-quality hobbies in life, such as reading, sports, graffiti or music appreciation, etc., in order to enrich their leisure content and not have nothing to do. ,Spiritual emptiness.
In addition, helping others’ self-recognition process is a very important lesson in children’s growth. Therefore, parents should also encourage their children to help others in their lives, which can bring a sense of satisfaction and Happiness.
Conclusion
The acquisition process of EQ advantage is the slow raising process of a person’s quality, and the most effective slow raising of EQ is to make good use of the family’s daily leisure time, help children plan their leisure activities, guide them into real life, and in real interpersonal Improve your EQ ability in the interaction, so that you have more opportunities to embrace success in the future.
