Regarding how to cultivate children's self-confidence, Yu Minhong Teacher Yu Minhong said this:
"According to the nature of a child, it becomes a strength in the child's life. Once this happens, he will have a sense of accomplishment and presence.
Parents should not strengthen the situation where children are inferior to others, because everyone has things that are inferior to others. What parents should do is help their children build confidence in a certain aspect."
What they say is that parents should not always focus on their children's shortcomings, or compare their own children's shortcomings with others' strengths. This is undoubtedly a huge blow to their children's self-confidence.
On the contrary, find out the child’s unique talent, help the child cultivate it and strengthen it. With this strength, the child will gradually become confident.
You may be worried, what if my child doesn’t have any talent or specialties?
Believe me, as long as you search, there will be something. Every child is born with something different from others and has his own more prominent points. The key is that parents must be good at finding and discovering.
In " Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", the author Dr. Stephen Ko Wei once talked about the case where their couple cultivated their son's confidence.
At that time, Stephen was already a well-known figure. Both couples had certain social status, so they had high requirements for their children, for fear that they would embarrass themselves.
But they just had a son who looked a little weak in all aspects:
"The results are terrible, and I can't even understand the instructions on the test paper; I'm not mature enough in interpersonal communication, which even makes those who are very close to him feel embarrassed; on the sports field, he is thin and inflexible, and often swings the baton before playing baseball, so he often gets ridiculed by his classmates."
In order to help his son improve as soon as possible, the Stephens and his wife can be said to have tried their best. No matter how bad the child performs, he often seizes the opportunity to encourage him. However, no matter how hard they try, it will be useless. Instead, the child's self-confidence becomes less and less, and his performance becomes worse and worse.
In this case, the couple reflected on their words and deeds again and found that although they had been encouraging their children, in fact, they also thought that the children were worse than others and were comparing their sons with other outstanding children. It is their true view of their children in their hearts that has the greatest impact on them.
After discovering this, they decided to change their strategy and look at the child again, rather than rushing to change him, and try their best to find the child's strengths or talents.
This time, they just pointed out the child’s talent, no longer judged or helped him improve, but allowed the child to freely develop his talents. When the child makes progress in these aspects, they only need to confirm from the side.
I didn’t expect that the strategy of letting the child go naturally and allowing his child to develop his talent changed a few months later:
“He gradually gained confidence and began to affirm his value and realize his potential at his own speed and pace. He performed very well in both academically, sports fields, and socially.”
Later, their son was elected as a representative of the student club, a state representative team player, and his examination score was also a Class A. In addition, it has cultivated a sincere and enthusiastic personality, and can get along well with people wherever you go."
And all this is just because parents abandon their negative views on their children, look for their talents and strengths with a positive perspective, and encourage their children to freely develop their talents, and slowly turn their talents into strengths.
When children gradually have strengths that are enough to make them proud, they develop confidence without realizing it.
