Text | Shangguan's mom (senior maternal and child nurse)
Many of the reasons for having children are that when they are old, they can have their own care for the elderly. But when they were getting older, they discovered that not all children are filial sons.
In life, I often hear that some elderly people go to their sons and daughters’ homes for a few days. Every day they quarrel about little things, or cold war with each other, or their children make excuses to let them go back. This phenomenon occurs. In addition to part of the children’s unfilial piety, they also Part of it is due to the old man himself. Case of
Aunt Luo and Aunt Li live in the same community. They both like to use the community’s fitness equipment to exercise and dance square dances. After two visits, they are familiar with each other and chat together from time to time.
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet. The pictures and texts have nothing to do with
. They both have a son in their 30s and are married. Aunt Luo's daughter-in-law has just finished her confinement, and she took care of her in the past. After
came back, Aunt Luo told Aunt Li that her daughter-in-law was fine. During the more than 40 days she went to take care of her, there was no conflict at all between them, and the relationship was better. In the future, if the daughter-in-law doesn't have time, she will go there to help bring the children and do housework.
Aunt Li's daughter-in-law is also pregnant and will give birth in less than a month. After listening to Aunt Luo, Aunt Li also hopes that her daughter-in-law will treat her well and treat her as her biological mother.
More than two months passed, and Aunt Li complained to Aunt Luo when she came back that her daughter-in-law is really not a thing, and she is clamoring for a divorce and provoke her relationship with her son. Aunt Luo
asked her for the detailed process.
Aunt Li said: "I cook for her every day and take care of children. She still thinks that my methods are not scientific enough. I usually ignore people and don’t know how to be polite. How can I treat my elders like this? My son, let him take care of his wife." Aunt Luo comforted her: "Your daughter-in-law is also for her own children. She is a young man and loves to learn. She must have learned a better way to take care of her children, my daughter-in-law. The same is true. Sure enough, the child is very healthy and looks better than my son when he was young, so please relax." Aunt Li snorted. Aunt Luo
said: "She may not know how to get along with you if she ignores people. She should remember your goodness. And this is a contradiction between the two of you. It would be unnecessary to bring your son in and affect them. Aunt Li asked: “What do they do if they want to get a divorce now?” Aunt Luo said: “You have worked hard during this period. Take a good rest at home, and their relationship can recover on their own.” Aunt Luo and Aunt Li
The same is taking care of the daughter-in-law for confinement, but the attitude of the son and daughter-in-law towards her is completely different. This must have a lot to do with the two old people's own reasons.
Old people who can be respected by their children all have in common, but there are reasons for not wanting to provide for the elderly. Many children frankly said that they are the last to provide for the following four types of parents. It is not filial piety. It is because they are too "work".
1. Parents who interfere with their children's lives
Many daughter-in-laws are reluctant to live with their mother-in-law because they are too lenient. It was originally a conflict between the couple. If the mother-in-law does not ask the reason, they think it is the daughter-in-law’s fault. There are still many mother-in-laws at
. They don't understand their daughter-in-law. They don't want to say it face-to-face. They have to say it to their son in a jealous manner. Then the two began to have conflicts and the family relationship was not harmonious.
There are only children and grandchildren for children and grandchildren. If the elders control too much, they will attract children.
2, unreasonable parents
Some elderly people are very "savage", thinking that they are older and the parents, and their children should listen to him.
For example, some old people have pain in a certain part of their body and their children want to take him to the hospital. They are unwilling, either because they have no money to see them, or they think the doctor is a liar. After talking to them for a long time, they still refuse to go.
As a result, they believe that real crooks want to buy magical medicine that will work in one day online. Can a child stay with such an elderly person for a long time without getting tired?
3. Parents who don’t pay attention to their lifestyles
People who are not in harmony with their lifestyles are also difficult to get along with. For example, some elderly people like to smoke in the living room, some elderly people early in the morningGet up to clean up and wake up others. If
continues like this, young people will inevitably have a lot of complaints, but when you speak, the old people feel that you are unfilial and temperamental. So they even dare not live with the elderly.
4. Eccentric parents
In families with many children, sons and daughters are afraid of their parents’ eccentricity. If you pick up your parents to play, they see you have a good life, so you have to help the child they like and give the parents money. Things, parents change hands and give them to other children.
This makes the children who want to do a little filial piety what they think. It hurts the children's feelings too much. After a long time, they will no longer be diligent in the elderly.
Although some children don't want to see their parents, but after the children are born, they need them to help bring the children. However, these elderly people are not suitable for bringing children. Parents might as well resign and bring them by themselves, or ask for confinement.
1. Old people with old ideas
Old people with old ideas like to use folk remedies in caring for children, and they are stubborn and have traditional feudal family thinking. They think that their children should listen to them.
asks such an old man to help with the child, and the pregnant mother must also allocate energy to pay attention to whether the old man does something bad to the child. After a long time, not only conflicts, but also the confinement of the pregnant mother.
2, the doting old man
Some old people treat their grandchildren as treasures, and no matter what their requirements are, they immediately satisfy them, and they spoil their children.
3. Elderly people who like to instigate the relationship between husband and wife
Many couples started arguing frequently during the confinement period, and even wanted to divorce, because some old people wanted to control their daughter-in-law through the hands of their sons, which resulted in family conflicts. In this way, if the child is not taken well and the confinement is not satisfactorily, the gain is not worth the loss.
Although some elderly people are very annoying, their love and care is real. I hope everyone can do their responsibilities for the elderly.
