Lily (pseudonym)’s son is 6 years old, and he is a well-known "Stingy King" in the community. He never shares his snacks and toys with other children in the community. No matter how she persuaded and taught Lily, she didn't get rid of the child's stinginess, and she didn't know who the child followed this habit.
There is an ancient allusion "Kong Rong let pears". Modesty is a virtue in China's extensive and profound culture. Together with the understanding of sharing, it constitutes a child's excellent behavior. But in the process of parenting, we often encounter some children who just don't know how to share, and some children behave generously. Is it true that the children have bad behavior? What parents need to reflect on is: There may be a problem with your guidance.
stingy children, mostly from these three types of families
children are either born or are more selfish and petty people, more often parental behavior demonstrations and improper guidance methods, and finally lead to this habit of children. Analyzing from internal and external reasons, the main reasons why children behave stingy are as follows.
Parents are usually stingy with their children
Some parents have the idea of "raising children poorly", will be relatively stingy in all aspects of their children . Even most of the children's requests are rejections, causing children to often fail to get what they want from childhood. In the long run, the child will become very stingy, because in the eyes of the child, "I have not eaten these things several times, how can I share them with others".
The wrong way of guidance by parents
Some parents usually behave very stingy in life, such as being very selfish and stingy towards neighbors, relatives and friends, then children grow up in such an environment, they will easily become The look of the parents. In addition, when the child refused to share, parents accused the child of being selfish and stingy and even forced the child to share . Such reproaching children will not only fail to recognize their own mistakes, but will also blame the parents for "why do they want to force themselves to share" and feel that the parents are very partial.
Parents' spoiling
Some parents usually dote on their children very much, no matter what at home, they will let the children, and they will not care too much about whether the children are selfish. Parents’ excessive pampering will make children “don’t understand what sharing is”, “the meaning of sharing”, etc.
If children don’t know how to share, what’s the harm?
children don’t know how to share, and behave stingly in everything. This kind of behavior seems to be a trivial matter, but it will actually affect the child’s future social skills and three-view development. A child who doesn't know how to share is usually selfish, thinking only of themselves in everything. When they grow up, they value material gains and losses and tend to lose themselves.
Children will become more and more selfish
Children who don’t know how to share are undoubtedly selfish , they only consider themselves when dealing with anything, and rarely take into account the feelings of others. Not only will it affect the child's social skills in the future, it will also make the child become more and more overbearing.
Children will value substances very much in the future. Children's stinginess is accompanied by the development of the child's three views. In the eyes of these children who resist sharing, they will value their possessions very much. It is also because they have received very little since childhood, and they value material gains and losses very seriously. The worst result is that children become vain and compare.
Children will become more and more stingy
In life, we all hate a kind of person, that is, the kind of person who counts every penny clearly, especially for relatives and friends. This attitude still remains. is not only a problem for children to stingy, but also a manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
Compared with moral kidnapping of children, this kind of "teaching" is more effective.
Many parents often use some wrong guidance methods when educating their children to be stingy or not to share. , These wrong ways not only have no effect, but also cause some side effects. Reject moral kidnapping, so that "teaching" is more effective.
2~3 years old: let the flow go + respect
. Many parents worry about their children in the future.Become a habit of selfishness, so when faced with a child’s refusal to share, he will guide him. But in fact, the stage when the child is 2 to 4 years old is the budding stage of the awareness of ownership of goods. It is the stage when the child really starts to distinguish "mine is mine" and "your is yours". What parents should do is to respect their children and don’t force their children to share , otherwise the children will not know how to protect their rights in the future. This is the so-called "go with the flow".
After the age of 3: Parents guide
After the age of 3, the child still behaves very selfishly in all aspects, and the parent needs to guide the child to correct behavior in a certain way. For example, can allow children to agree to take turns to play : parents can make an agreement with their children, two people take turns to play with each other, take turns to share, respect the children, rather than force sharing.
After 7 years old: Children can learn true empathy
Generally, after the child is 7 years old, they understand what empathy is, and truly learn to share from the heart. Therefore, parents should not force their children to share when they are 2 or 3 years old. The premise that teaches children to learn to share is to give them enough respect.
