: Hot Mom Classroom (ID: lamajiaoshi)
There is an old Chinese saying that "children will never grow up in the hearts of their parents".
But you can't always use this idea to educate children. Otherwise, the consequences are really serious.
01
Over-dependence and lack of independence
Parents always complain about their children’s lack of independence and poor self-care ability. In fact, the problem lies in the children on the surface, but the root cause lies in the parents. Why are children so dependent? From another perspective, it is parents who deprive their children of the opportunity to be independent. Z1z
In fact, since children learn to walk, they desire to be independent, full of curiosity about the world, and hope to explore the mysteries of the world by themselves. However, parents are always worried, do not let go, and do everything they want, which binds the children's hands and feet and binds the children's thoughts. Z1z
For example, when many children are with their parents, they always rely on their parents to choose what they want, and they are afraid or unwilling to choose. Parents are not at ease and always help their children to make choices. Over time, the children develop this dependence. When a certain age is reached, the parents are worried again. When the child is so old, when will he be independent? They rarely reflect on whether their actions cause the child to do this?
trains children to learn to do something independently from an early age. In fact, this way the child will be very happy and will have a sense of accomplishment in his small heart. Moreover, over time, he would like to do something by himself, instead of asking his parents for help in everything.
02
Cowardly, unable to withstand any difficulties
Once, when I saw a child playing chess with his grandpa, he burst into tears. It turned out that Grandpa won, but he lost. What did Grandpa do at this time? This round is not counted as we have never, and then, every time Grandpa deliberately lost to his grandson. At this time the children are happy, and the adults think: Isn't it just playing, as long as the children are happy. There are many such parents around
. As long as the child cries, they will surrender: either they deliberately lose to the child in the game, or they will solve the problem for the child. In life, they also love their children very much, feeding and dressing, doing homework and carrying school bags, and basically taking care of most of the tasks for the children.
Parents take care of the things that replace their children, life goes smoothly, and prevents children from experiencing setbacks. Not only does the child lose the opportunity to do it, but it also makes them lose the courage and ability to face setbacks, which is harmful to the child’s growth. .
Parents need to have the courage to let go and let their children face difficulties. He fell. Don't rush to help him, but encourage him to get up; don't tell the answer directly for the homework he can't do, but let him think about it. Only in this way can children gradually learn to face everything in life independently.
If you feel that your child has less frustration, you should also consciously create opportunities for "frustration". At home, let him help you wash the vegetables and sweep the floor, do some small things within his power; on holidays, take him to climb mountains. Z1z
03
plant the bane for the future marriage of the child
Have you ever seen an example of divorce due to two eggs?
On a marriage talk show, a divorced woman blew herself up. The fuse for the divorce between him and her husband was two eggs. It seems very outrageous. What is the truth? Husband
is the youngest son in the family. There are three older sisters on it. The youngest child is the most favored one in the family. Everything is done by the parents or the three older sisters.
She accommodates her husband everywhere in life and work. For example, when decorating the house, everyone is very tired, and the husband can take a break or have a cup of tea, but when he sees the other person being idle, he starts nagging... and so on. Z1z
Once, she put two eggs when she was making noodles. When she was making noodles, her husband said, "Why do you put eggs in so many noodles? Is it edible?" As a result, when it was time to eat, the husband filled the rice with two eggs into his bowl. The marriage of two people just broke up.
seems like a divorce triggered by a trivial matter, but in fact it is just the last straw to crush the camel.
People like this, because they have been surrounded by their parents for a long time, don't know how to think about others, don't compare their hearts with each other, don't consider problems from the perspective of others, everything is self-centered and selfish. Acting bossy and defiant, unable to get along with others in harmony. Such people not only have difficulties in marriage, but also in interpersonal relationships.Big problem.
Independence + Responsibility + Ability + Mature Thoughts = Growing Up. Only with the above conditions can a person be mature from physical to mental.
A mature person has to face a lot of things alone, no longer like when a child has many things to be borne by his parents, he must have a sense of responsibility, and more often he must be responsible for his actions, face and bear a lot thing.
