The famous writer Liu Yong is a life mentor in the minds of many generations born in the 70s and 80s. Many of his books have accompanied the growth of a generation and are known as "professional writers who communicate the hearts of young people."
In addition, he is also a painter, a lecturer, and has taught in several prestigious schools. However, his most fascinating thing is that he is a father, and he has raised a pair of very good children. His family education method is hailed as "the model of Chinese family education".
Liu Yong's two children are 17 years old. The eldest son, Liu Xuan, graduated with a PhD in psychology from Harvard University. He is also a top student at the Juilliard School of Music. He has been a music producer and host. He also won the championship in the second season of the variety show "I Am a Speaker" and his father The same, is a talent.
Liu Xuan participated in "I am a speaker"
daughter Liu Yifan, 14-year-old won the US "Presidential Award", and was admitted to the Department of Journalism of Columbia University with the first place. After three years of graduation, he was admitted to the Wharton School of Business. Later became a corporate executive. How did Liu Yong educate such an excellent pair of children like
? He said: The most important thing in
family education is companionship. From childhood to adolescence, we must accompany the children to share happy time, laugh with them and grow up together.
01, every child is different. Teach them according to their aptitude
Liu Yong said that his two children are very different. They follow the principle of teaching students according to their aptitude, and they do differently when accompanying them.
When his son Liu Xuan was 5 years old, Liu Yong went to the United States to work hard. Three years later, his family reunited. Liu Xuan was very uncomfortable when he first arrived in the United States. He was often ridiculed by the children around him. He became introverted and was taken by his grandmother and mother since he was a child. He was more spoiled and rebellious.
In response to this, Liu Yong adopted Chinese-style power education to teach his son to be more realistic and independent as soon as possible. For example, he often takes his son to play in the wild, catching bugs together, and also takes him to grow vegetables together so that he can do physical tasks such as carrying the soil.
With these personal experiences, Liu Yong taught his son to write these experiences into the composition. Liu Xuan's writing is witty and well received by the teacher, which makes him become more confident and communicate more with his classmates.
In addition, Liu Yong often played with Liu Xuan in long jump, running, pitching and other boys' sports. He often played against him. He was not allowed to cry, act coquettishly, or get angry if he lost. Teach him not to be discouraged when encountering difficulties and never admit defeat.
Accompanying his son, Liu Yong is a typical "Chinese-style father," he says nothing but a "daughter slave" in front of his daughter, gentle and democratic.
He will put makeup on his daughter, play the house with her daughter, and blow her hair on the doll; when her daughter practices the violin, he will hold the score as a music stand; cultivate her interest in learning, and take her daughter to do scientific experiments.
daughter has good grades since childhood. She can lie on the carpet while watching TV while doing homework. Liu Yong said, "She has the ability to get A in every subject. What can I say?" So for his daughter, he mainly stocks her and gives her freedom.
In front of his son is "Tiger Dad", and in front of his daughter is "Cat Dad". The two faces are to teach students in accordance with their aptitude and to be targeted.
02, companionship also talks about rules, and cultivates good habits for children from an early age.
Liu Yong is not unreasonable and disorderly about his son's "power". If blames his son, he will apologize and compensate him for his mental damage. Reprimanded his son will leave time for him to argue and give him the right to speak.
Liu Yong is also very concerned about learning. Liu Xuan's grades in elementary school were pretty good, but Liu Yong thought he had a weak foundation, so he let him stay at the first level to lay a solid foundation before moving forward. Although
treats her daughter tenderly, there are limits, and she never spoils her. Liu Yong and his wife usually sing white faces and red faces, and they cooperate with each other to educate their daughters. He also teaches his daughter how to play basketball by teaching his son, and will not be modest to her, making her afford to lose.
In terms of learning, the compulsory courses never let my daughter be free. For example, if she teaches her Chinese to learn Chinese, if her daughter doesn't read well, he laughs, and Liu Yong will scowl and order her to read it over and over again. If she doesn't read well, she is not allowed to eat.
Liu Yong said that
"power" is just a means, and children can’t just use rules.If taught well, the rules will always be forgotten by them. But once the habits of thinking and acting are successfully cultivated, they don't need to rely on memory, and they can easily and naturally take effect in their lives. What parents have to do is to use rules to strengthen their children's good thinking and behavioral habits. This is true for
, rules are only external forms, thinking and habits are the core. The habit of should be cultivated when the child is young, so that good habits "grow" in the body when there is not much self-consciousness.
03, after the child enters junior high school, it is essential to accompany the child
to enter puberty. Two problems are our most worrying, one is rebelliousness not studying, and the other is the relationship with the opposite sex.
Regarding rebellion, Liu Yong’s view is that children are rebellious, sometimes only their own psychological and physical conditions are fighting. has grown up and feels that he has the power to leave his parents, but he still has to be attached to his parents financially and must stay. The two forces often fight, and rebellion arises. Rebellion is not a child's lack of conscience, it is more like a struggle.
Liu Xuan was also very rebellious after entering junior high school. He became fascinated by the racer Schumacher, he became disliked to study, his grade was always C, and he proudly said, "Schumacher still passed a zero mark in the test."
Liu Yongjian went slant forward, betting with his son that he could get a zero score in the test is really good, provided that he did not turn in a blank paper and all the questions were completed.
All questions must be wrong, multiple-choice questions must avoid the correct answer, so you must first know the correct answer. In order to get a zero score, Liu Xuan began to study hard. After a year of hard work, he finally avoided the correct answer perfectly and got a zero score.
only then realized that this is his father's routine, so he can get a zero score in the test, and he can also get an A. He is already an excellent student.
Liu Yong also strictly supervises the relationship with friends. Once, a girl with a strange dress and a strange behavior came to the house to look for Liu Xuan to play. Liu Yong was displeased, drove the girl away, and told his son sternly that he should never associate with this girl. Liu Yong's judgment was correct, and the girl was expelled from school.
Liu Yong said that for adolescent children, parents must respect their privacy, not look at their diaries, search their rooms at will, etc., but they must tell children that making friends is a principle.
If a friend makes him more positive and optimistic, and his grades are better, he can make friends; if he always makes himself sigh and his grades plummet, such friends will not be able to communicate.
It can be seen that Liu Yong is very attentive to accompany his children, from elementary school to junior high school, there is relaxation in education, and he never neglects. He said that good family education means that when children grow up, parents also grow up.
