Parenting first, which means that only parenting may not work, but only parenting cannot do it,
Yesterday I watched everyone chat in the group, which aroused my deep feelings. In fact, we all know one thing, parenting first. But it's not easy to do it.
No matter how much parenting theory we know and how many parenting techniques we master, it is the parents who ultimately need to take action. Therefore, it is not easy for parents to live their own lives well and just want to control their children unilaterally or even provide support to them.
Of course, this is not a good thing about parents. In fact, just one is enough. In any case, we can handle our own emotions well and not affect others.
And dealing with your own emotions well does not mean emotional stability, and this is not an easy thing to do.
In fact, emotional instability has nothing to do with it. The key is to avoid or eliminate harm to others. You can tell at a glance this article "Do you express emotions reasonably or emotionally?"
. In contrast, the current parenting methods are all separated .
either works hard to transform your parents, what you want to do, what you should not do, what you should not do, what you should not do.
either works hard to transform your children, go to college, read, play music, chess, calligraphy and painting, you cannot lie flat, you must work hard, and you cannot achieve nothing.
We will find that
Leave the children aside, just care about their parents, and tell them to them at any time, let go, give children freedom, and let themselves go, and ignore the dimension of letting go at all, which is extremely irresponsible.
. Regardless of the parents, just care about the children. If the children need to accept them at this time, you should accept them. If you can’t give them, it means that your parents are unqualified, and it’s all nonsense.
Know why many people are trying their best to promote the good relationship between parents and children?
- because it is really important to have a good parent-child relationship.
- Secondly, because they themselves don’t know how to deal with problems when the parent-child relationship is bad.
Many theories are not bad, but if you use a single dimension, it will really bring people into a dead end .
When a person doesn’t know how to deal with problems with a bad parent-child relationship, he can only brainwash you desperately. Parent-child relationship is very important. If the child does not cooperate, you can handle the parent-child relationship. I've sent you a word, but you still can't tell me the key. The parents themselves are uncomfortable.
Parent-child relationship is important, but to deal with problems, you don’t need to rely on parent-child relationships at all. You can read this recent article "Many times, all children need is an opportunity"
Children grow up in a flash. If you have to wait until the parent-child relationship is improved before dealing with the problem, many things may be too late. Of course, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have time. Life is like this. Only with regrets and imperfections are perfect.
But the problem is, there is obviously a chance to do this. We have to blame the parent-child relationship, because we directly ignore another choice because of our own limitations or cognitive bias. Isn’t it a pity?
Furthermore, parent-child relationship must be something to do, and it will definitely get better in the process of resolving conflicts, rather than simply shut up and avoiding conflicts and evading them can get better.
In addition, parents grow up the same, it also takes time and cannot be achieved overnight. If you don’t care about your children and just care about your parents’ growth during this period, do you think it’s feasible? An angel child may be able to do it, but if the child needs help and you leave him to grow up, isn’t it a little inappropriate?
Of course, you want to do this and your own rights and freedom.The problem is when you do this, because you have to force yourself and feel that there is no choice? Or are there any other choices you give up on your own initiative? This is completely different.
What's more, many times the growth rate of parents cannot keep up with the growth rate of their children. If you think about what to do when you grow up, some people may not have time to work in their lives
The biggest advantage of cooperation is that they do not need to give up their children, nor do they need to give up their parents, nor do they care about the parent-child relationship.
As long as we can reach a cooperative alliance,
It doesn’t matter if parents don’t grow up, we can still give support within the scope of our children’s ability.
It doesn’t matter if the parent-child relationship is bad. We can still give the love and respect that children need.
It is also possible to control the child, which does not prevent the child from having the sense of control he needs .
This article is original by Shengeng Family Growth. Welcome to follow and take you to gain knowledge!
