My son said the first swear word "ShaBi" when he was almost three years old. I was so surprised that I never said this word when I was at home. I asked him who he learned it from. He said he learned it from Dongdong next door. Dongdong is a boy over 4 years old and the two children often play together.
Later, Dongdong's mother told me that Dongdong learned from his sister who was in the first grade of junior high school. When Dongdong's mother criticized her sister for swearing, her sister retorted: "I'm not swearing, this is a catchphrase. All the classmates in our class say this, it's cool!"
I asked my son at the time, do you know what SB means? He shook his head and told him that this was a swear word, it was not nice, and he couldn't say it again in the future. He nodded, but never said it again. So, at that time I didn't care much about his swearing words. Children usually have a "smudged tone period" when they are around 3 years old. They may not understand the specific meaning of those swearing words, but are just exploring the world with language.
Now my son is over 4 years old and he is in the middle class of kindergarten. Some time ago, this word appeared in his mouth more and more times, and he vaguely knew the meaning of the word, and he used this word to express his emotions. For example, when I urged him to go to bed, he refuted me: "SB Mom!" When my father was dissuading him, he yelled at his father again: "SB Dad!"
Dad almost beat him up. I knew this would backfire. The more intense the adult's reaction, the happier and more satisfied the child would be. I suppressed the anger in my heart, squatted down and hugged my son, pretending to be sad and said to him: "Do you know? Mom is very sad when she hears this word. This is a swear word, and everyone who hears it will be very sad and sad." My son surrendered and hugged me tightly, "Mom, I didn't mean it."
"Mom is urging you, you are very angry, and you can't help but want to vent your anger, right?"
"Mom is urging you, you are very angry, and you can't help it. Isn't it?"
"" Mom is urging you, you are very angry, and you can't help it. Isn't it?"
html l0 "Yes! Mom, I tell you, many students in our class like to say SB, and the teacher has criticized us, but when we were playing on the playground, the teacher was not there, and we whispered, it was very interesting! Doudou also taught us that it was his brother who taught him. Mom, what does awesome mean?"Look, although the child is swearing, sometimes he doesn't understand the meaning or harm these words mean. The more he opposes the child, the more curious he is, and then he talks secretly.
When the son grows up, he has more and more opportunities to contact the outside world. He has learned a lot of fresh words through TV and online videos, and sometimes he is not so civilized to express. I will distinguish the situation and deal with it. Let me talk about my personal experience below:
1. Children just think it's fun to say swear words
Children like to imitate adults or other children's words. After learning a fresh word, they find it very fun and keep chanting in their mouths, but this does not mean that the child is full of maliciousness. For example, my son learned WC with the next door and said this word at any time.
I told him: "This word means that I am surprised, but this word is not nice and uncivilized. If you often say it, others will think you are rude. Mom can teach a replacement word, which is cooler than this one. You can say OH, MY GOD! Very educated adults will say this, and you can also teach other children, they will think you are cool!"
"OH, MY, MY GOD! I learned it! "
"Son, you are so awesome! You will learn it once! Next time, mom will teach you a cooler one."
So, in response to such a situation, parents should not criticize and scold them, they should correct their children. Use civilized words to replace swear words. When the child speaks civilized words, praise the child in a timely manner and strengthen his behavior of speaking civilized words.
2. Children speak swear words to express emotions
When children are angry, angry, and irritable, they will eagerly want to express their emotions, but because they are still young and have limited language and vocabulary, they will imitate others "without speaking". For example, the "SB Mom" mentioned above, my son blurted out.
At this time, should face the child's emotions, first calm the child's emotions, help the child understand the emotions, learn to express emotions in accurate words, and finally use appropriate methods to resolve emotions. In this way, children can learn to accept their emotions, accurately express their emotions, and vent their emotions reasonably.
"SB mother sounds really angry and sad, but you said it because you were angry with your mother. Let's talk about why you are angry?"
"Mom, I almost finished this building block car. You insisted on me going to bed. I'm in a hurry!"
"Well, mom is wrong, you shouldn't urge you. Let's do it. After finishing it in five minutes, can you do it?"
"Well, mom is wrong. You shouldn't urge you. l0 "Of course, I'm so awesome in building block car!"
"Okay, I can't say the word SB at home in the future, and we are very sad when we hear it."
"I know, sorry, mom, no!"
If we take our children's emotions seriously and give comfort when the children need it, they will gradually learn to internalize that comfort, and they can resolve it themselves in a suitable rather than extreme way in the future.
Last but not least, it is very important: Parents should restrain their own language and set a good example for their children. Let the child understand: Respect others, start with language. Only by doing the right thing can life be truly cool!
