Tolstoy "Anna Karenina " writes: "Happy families are similar, and unfortunate families have their own misfortunes."
What are the similarities of happy families? It's just that the couple is loving, the parents are kind, and the children are sensible and cute. In an unfortunate family, anything can become the fuse to break this harmonious atmosphere.
You should know that family affection is the strongest in the world, and the last trump card and way out for each of us. It is the product of mutual gratitude and respect among family members. A harmonious family has a very profound impact on adults, children, or the elderly.
So, how to make a family more harmonious, don’t cause disputes, and there will be no turmoil? This is a question worth our consideration.
Although every family has a difficult sutra, some families can cleverly avoid those minefields so that every member can get along with each other comfortably. Some families, however, are not comprehensive enough to think about things and will not stand from the other party's perspective, which leads to a collapse in the family environment.
Parents are a family day. In many families, when encountering some things, they will inform their parents as soon as possible and seek their opinions. There are some elderly people with high IQs who handle things very wisely and deserve praise.
Because they understand the importance of "turning a blind eye" and also understand that "it's rare to be confused" is the best attitude.
After all, when people reach old age, they have seen too many personnel disputes and experienced too many twists and turns, so they naturally know how to better handle interpersonal relationships.
People are old. When we get along with our children, don’t talk about the following three things easily, so as not to destroy family affection and affect our elderly’s evening scenes.
01 Parents’ preference for their children
Although every child is the flesh falling from the parents, families with many children will inevitably cause their parents’ preference.
There are some families with more than two children in life. If the parents prefer one of them, then the child will be arrogant and make him develop an unreasonable and self-centered personality.
Then other children will feel lost, unwilling to give up, and even plant the seeds of hatred in their hearts.
Once watched a TV series in which a couple in the play adopted a child in the welfare home because they had not had children for many years. They regarded her as their own child and gave her the most and best love.
The children are also very happy and enjoy the love and sense of security brought to them by this couple. But three years later, the mother suddenly became pregnant. She had a child that truly belonged to her. Her attitude towards the eldest daughter and the younger daughter was completely different. Every time the younger daughter cried, she would not ask, but she would come forward to question the eldest daughter, and then blame her.
Time and again, every time the eldest daughter wants to explain, the mother interrupts and refuses to listen. Later, the eldest daughter had the idea of making her sister disappear. She thought it was because of her sister's arrival that her mother stopped loving herself.
So, while she and her sister were playing in the amusement park, they deliberately ran away and threw her sister away. After that, the mother hated her eldest daughter even more and drove her out of the house.
Little do they know that it is precisely because of her bias that the child’s psychological distortion has ruined this originally happy family.
As the writer Munier said: "The true happiness and joy of life are immersed in intimate family relationships."
02 Excessive interference with children's feelings
Every parent hopes that their children will have a happy and fulfilling marriage in the future, so when they learn that their children are in love, they will ask to take them home to meet.
Some parents don't even see each other. After hearing their children talk about each other's situation, they start to break up the couple and insist on breaking up.
Although parents do see countless people compared to their children, they also know that they want their children to have a better life from their parents' perspective. However, excessive interference will affect the relationship with children.
Children have grown up now and have their own standards for measuring people and things. Maybe you think you are doing it for them, but who would have to take a different path from their parents when they were young.
Only after they have passed by themselves can they know whether the partner they choose is right or wrong. If it is right, it is their own blessing. If it is wrong, they will understand their parents' efforts at that time, and from then on they will trust and rely more on their parents.
After all, life is their own, and they need to create and explore themselves, while parents are just guides for their children and women’s birth.
If you forcefully interfere with their emotional life, it will only force your child to become more and more rigid in your relationship.
03 Comparison of the abilities between children
Everyone is a different individual, and they are naturally different in appearance and ability. As parents, they should not always compare their children, but should also serve them equally.
Cao Jianjun is an employee of an outstanding unit with outstanding business capabilities, but he can't please his mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law always compares her eldest daughter's son-in-law with Cao Jianjun. Every time she goes to her mother-in-law's house, she will praise her business son-in-law everywhere, saying that he makes a lot of money and gives her a necklace worth tens of thousands, but she always sneered at Cao Jianjun.
Even if the eldest son-in-law made a mistake and was arrested, the mother-in-law would take his anger on him, criticizing him for not being able to get the eldest son-in-law out as soon as possible, which made the son-in-law be detained for a few days.
Amid the constant provocation of mother-in-law, the second daughter finally had a fucking relationship with her mother. She really couldn't know her husband and was criticized by her mother this time.
Someone said: "An ideal and happy family is neither far away nor will it fall from the sky. It should be achieved through its own strength and built by the whole family."
When people are old, they must be as clear as a mirror. When they get along with their children, they should endure what they should not say. Forget what they should not say or not, think more carefully. This is a wise old man who knows how to maintain a good relationship with their children.
