Speaking of letting the elderly take care of their children, young parents probably have a lot of bitterness.
Some families have many siblings, and the elderly are busy helping their children, so they don’t care about helping them take care of their children; some elderly people are used to living in the countryside and do not want to go to the city to help take care of their children, so they tell their wives that if they take care of their children, they will send the children back to their hometown; some elderly people even say directly that they will not help with taking care of their children, and they have worked hard to raise their son, so why should they still raise their grandson?
This is a very popular photo, which tells a group of grandmothers who look very fashionable. After retirement, they will not help their daughter-in-law take care of their children, but will travel everywhere. He also shouted his own slogan: "We are grandmas and can't take care of children at home. Grandmas are at home and we look as beautiful as a flower outside."
I personally find this photo a bit incredible. When did raising children become grandma's patent?
Grandma Li in our community is such a mother-in-law, who thinks raising children is the grandma's business. Grandma Li was an accountant before she retired and always looked down on her in-laws living in the countryside.
When the daughter-in-law was pregnant, Grandma Li first stated that she would not help take care of the child. After all, I have been busy all my life and finally retired, it’s like I’m walking around. If you want to help take care of the children, you can't go anywhere.
After hearing Grandma Li's words, my daughter-in-law was very unhappy, but she had no choice. So after the child was born, my grandma was always helping to take care of her.
Although Grandma Li doesn’t take care of the child, she often goes to her son’s house to direct her grandma to take care of the child, and says everywhere that her grandma doesn’t take care of the child well.
Someone asked Grandma Li why she didn’t help taking care of the child?
Grandma Li smiled and said, "It's so troublesome to take care of the child. Let his grandma take care of it. I'll go over and see if I have time, but I won't go over if I don't have time. Anyway, the child will kiss me when he grows up."
Everyone shook their heads after hearing Grandma Li's words. Because from ancient times to the present, it has never been a natural thing for grandma to raise children, nor is it what should be done. There is only one situation suitable for grandma to help her daughter take care of the child, that is, the son-in-law marrys into the family and the child follows the mother's surname. Of course grandma has to take it with her.
Everyone laughed at Grandma Li behind their backs. Did her son marry into the woman’s house?
Because Grandma Li's actions made her daughter-in-law very angry, which led to the fact that when Grandma Li wanted to go to her son's house to retire, her daughter-in-law firmly refused.
Grandma Li asked her son and daughter-in-law: "Is it because I didn't take care of the child that you won't give me a care?"
Daughter-in-law said: "We don't give you a care of you. But you don't help us when we need help the most, and don't treat me as a family. So raising your child is just your son's own business, it has nothing to do with me."
Son said: "Mom, you did too much. Not only did you not help us take care of the child, but you also talk bad things about your mother-in-law everywhere. You don't want our family to live a better life!"
Grandma Li was speechless when asked, but the child's words were not unreasonable: How can you ask for a reward without giving?
Later, the son and daughter-in-law reached an agreement to rent a house for Grandma Li in her community and found an hourly worker to take care of Grandma Li. All these expenses must be paid by Grandma Li with her own retirement salary. My son occasionally came to see her, but his wife and grandson had never visited her at all.
Grandma Li regretted it at this time. After all, Grandma Li also came from her youth and knew it was not easy to raise a child. But once a person is heartbroken, it is difficult to choose to forgive. After all, it is more practical to help in time than adding icing on the cake.
So there are many family conflicts caused by raising children.
In theory, the elderly have no obligation to take care of their children. But as elderly people, we must also see the difficulties of young people. The work pressure is high, and I have to pay the mortgage, car loan, and pay various expenses for my children. This kind of economic pressure is pressing on the two young parents.
If the elderly do not help take care of the children at this time, both parents can only have one full-time job to take care of the children.If the family loses income and more pressure, the conflict will increase accordingly.
It is precisely because it is a family that we need to help each other. The elderly help take care of the children, so that young people can work with peace of mind; young people know how grateful they are to the elderly, is it not good to have a harmonious family?
Here is not an emphasis on grandma taking care of children, but grandma should not put the responsibility of raising children on grandma.
can give you some tips to grandma:
1. If grandma really doesn’t want to take care of the child and needs grandma to help take care of the child, then grandma has to choose another way to help the child, that is, to provide financial support.
For example, the child’s expenses can be paid by grandma, so that parents will have less pressure and they can also feel their feelings.
2. Grandma and grandma take turns to take care of their children
After all, taking care of their children is not an easy task. It is hard work, and some elderly people can't stand it if they take care of their children for a long time. Then grandma and grandma can reach an agreement, each person will take care of one week or half a month, and then rotate. This can not only help children, but also give them proper rest.
3. Express thanks to grandma
If grandma really can’t take care of the child due to health or other reasons, then grandma should realize that it is not an obligation for grandma to take care of the child. Since grandma can’t take care of herself, grandma will help to take care of the child, then the grandma should mainly be the grandma and express gratitude to grandma to take care of the child. After all, grandma raises children and helps children reduce their burdens.
So, when it comes to grandma taking care of children, she tries not to make negative remarks. If you have anything, you can tell your son quietly and let him communicate and deal with it. At the same time, you can also prepare more small gifts for grandma, and thank grandma for helping to take care of the children.
Only when the children need help and do their best to help them, can grandma be treated sincerely. We are a family, and we must help each other.
Do you think grandma should help take care of the child?
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