Author: Rocking bell
On Friday morning, the kindergarten head teacher suddenly sent me a photo on WeChat.
There is a black hole in a slim little hand, rinsing it on the washstand.
I was slightly shocked. Could it be that Xiao Gulu was injured? At this time, my heart was already thinking about it, so I must have done it accidentally.
It is normal for children to fight and fight. We should be reasonable parents and not make things too difficult for others.
so calmed down and asked: What's wrong, teacher?
Unexpectedly, the teacher's answer was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day: It was my little Gulu who made a mistake, and he stabbed other children...
I immediately panicked. Parents should know that they are not afraid of their children being beaten at school, but they are afraid of their children being beaten at school.
How can I forgive others on the moral high ground?
I'm busy asking what's going on? Do you want to take the children to the hospital for a look?
The teacher said no, and by the way, the two children sat together while drawing, and Xiao Gulu poked him (when accidentally, he said it himself). Fortunately, it was not serious, and it was not broken or bleeding. The teacher took it to the infirmary to help with it.
also notified the other parents, but they were very reasonable and said that it was normal for children to fight.
I was relieved to hear this. But I still felt uncomfortable:
Although it doesn't look serious, the child's injury should be very painful. He must have cried loudly on the spot, otherwise the teacher would not have noticed that he was injured.
Just, why did Xiao Gulu take action?
I know in my heart that it is not the first time he has.
From about two years old, Xiao Gulu entered the hand-tempered period. The specific manifestation is: when you are excited, you will hit and slap others, and you will kick your hands and feet everywhere.
6 Several times I even hit back with my head -
At this time, I was holding him and hit my nose heavily. The pain made my eyes appear, and it took me a long time to recover. We didn't understand
before, but we just thought that he would have a tendency to be violent in the long run? So every time I was beaten, I decisively beat him, hoping that he would feel how painful it was. Later, I learned that it was the normal development law of infants and young children, so I tried to stop it gently (ineffective) and reason with temptation (or still ineffective).
Entering 2 and a half years old, we began to severely scold and cold treatment cycles. Sometimes it works, but when he gets happy, he becomes cute again, which makes me and I have a headache.
After a long time, his problem has not been completely corrected. Instead, he is often frightened by us and his expression is pitiful. The elder couldn't stand it anymore after seeing it, so he told us indirectly that he was just excited and happy, and always yelling and scolding him was not a solution.
于是从3岁开始，我们就采取了感化教育：用温柔的爱和关怀想让他放下屠刀，啊不，拳头，走回正道，成为一个和平友爱不主动揍别人的乖小孩。
After all, he has been in kindergarten, so what should others do if he is excited. Other people's children are beaten and parents are in trouble. We can't answer shamelessly:
"He beats him if he likes your child" right? After using the influence education, he saw that he was less likely to take action.Thinking that this method seemed to improve a little, I didn't expect that this happened again...
(a photo of Xiao Gulu sent by a kindergarten teacher)
Listen to the teacher's complete process, and with the guilt of the child who was poked into a pit on his arm, I made a few suggestions for handling.
1. Check the child's condition. If necessary, go to the hospital for examination or compensation.
2. I have something to do for the time being, so I will call my grandparents and ask them to buy some snacks as gifts. When I went to pick up the child in the afternoon, I apologized to the other parents. I had the chance to say sorry to the other parents in person.
3. When I got home at night, my father and I educated Xiao Gulu well. The whole family had a meeting at night to discuss how to deal with his usual aggressive behavior.
The class teacher was very nice and kept comforting me and said not to worry. She also said that she would leave the other person's child and Xiao Gulu after learning, communicate with the other person's parents and my parents separately, and then let Xiao Gulu hug the other person's child and reconcile and let the matter pass.
After I thanked my class teacher, I called my parents and explained, asking them to prepare the snacks and go to the kindergarten a little in advance to wait. After that, I thought about this while working.
At around 3 pm, my parents came to tell me that the matter was solved:
Our whole family was like a big enemy, but unexpectedly, the other parents only came to Dad.
Dad looked at the child's hand and said, "Oh, nothing is wrong." After chatting for a few words, he planned to retreat. He was reluctant to collect snacks. He refused several times, but my dad kept stuffing it into his arms before he could collect it. The class teacher also sent me a video, and the little boy and little Gulu sat on the side in the video. The voice-over teacher said, "You have to look at him and say sorry!" Then he held his hand over and showed Xiao Gulu the pencil wound on his arm.
The little boy pouted, and Xiao Gulu looked at him embarrassedly, and didn't know what he was saying in his mouth, so he turned his head again.
I sighed and thought of the sentence I wrote in my previous article:
Sometimes you really want to be a decent adult, but children can always break your fantasy.
After all, children who are too young only have the animal instinct of the strong and the fight for the strong. The "rules", "politeness" and " empathy " of human society are all learned by adults later on in their education and growth.
so children are fighting between them, rushing toys, grabbing food, it’s unreasonable, they fight between them, and they are noisy outside, and they are running and jumping... Not to mention Xiao Gulu, I was the same when I was a child, and I was doing it by instinct. It was the adults who kept telling me over and over again that it was wrong and I couldn’t do it. Then I gradually realized that if quarrels with others, it turned out that others would be annoyed, and if they beat others, it turned out that others would be hurt.
If you want to raise a "naughty child", (of course, don't raise a child who is too timid) you still need more guidance from adults. If you want to be a qualified parent, we have a long way to go.
Ps. After this incident, I checked the information again and said that the child was excited and liked to beat people and had aggressive behaviors in daily life. He could take cold treatment + reasoning guidance. The most important thing is to teach him to vent his excitement through correct and reasonable channels (such as teaching him to clap his hands, stomp his feet, etc.). I am going to try this method during this period and see if it is useful in the future.
Do you have any other good solutions? If there is the same situation, I hope to learn from you~
Author profile: Rocking the bell, Changsha Sagittarius female, wild emotional writer. New book "Girl, You Live So Soft"
