As children grow up, we will see that many children who were originally obedient to their parents become independent, have their own ideas, and no longer say many things to their parents.
In fact, the reason for this has a certain relationship with the way parents speak. For example, over-emphasis on the authority of parents to children has its positive side, but it mostly makes children feel distant from their parents, which often makes children feel distant from their parents. It is difficult to get close to parents at close range.
Therefore, as parents, we need to pay attention to the way we speak and try to give our children positive but calm words so that they are willing to communicate with us.
here summarizes the six most favorite sentences for children. If parents can use them more in daily life, the parent-child relationship can be further improved.
The first sentence - "Child (baby), I love you..."
If you say "Child (baby), I love you..." to your child, you can make the child feel the warmth from his parents. love.
The three words " I love you " may seem simple, but they are very healing for children. They often go straight to the child's heart and touch their heartstrings. The three words
convey a very rich message to the children. The first is "I can understand your feelings at this time. We generally call it empathy ."; the second is "I am willing to accept all kinds of No matter you are outstanding, naughty, cute, or make mistakes... I can accept it."
However, the traditional introverted character of Chinese people has led to many parents not being willing to show love to their children in life. Reveal this emotion.
On the other hand, more parents like to use harsh criticism and accusations to replace this emotion:
- "Look at you, you can't do this or that, you are so stupid!"
- "You are really stupid. an ignorant child !”
- “Whose child is as naughty as you!”
- …
Many parents are not only unaware of the inappropriateness of this kind of language, but also call it “deep love, deep responsibility.” It's for the good of the children.
But we often ignore the fact that children cannot feel the implicit love of their parents from their parents' words. In their subconscious mind, they think that parents only like obedient and well-behaved children.
Parents can tell their children clearly: We love them and do what we want them to do and what we don’t want them to do.
Parents use love and warmth to influence their children's words and deeds, giving them the confidence to grow into better versions of themselves.
The second sentence - "You are amazing/I am proud of you!"
If you say to your child "You are amazing/I am proud of you!", this sentence can encourage your child .
When a child scribbles and on a piece of paper, do you tell him not to doodle like that, or do you praise him for his great drawing?
When a child disassembles a small alarm clock into pieces, do you angrily scold the child for causing trouble, or do you praise him for his exploratory spirit?
In fact, sincere praise is far more acceptable to children than simple accusations and criticisms. Therefore, as long as the child is not deliberately making trouble and breaking the safety bottom line, we should give him a lot of encouragement and praise.
Of course, this does not mean that we abuse words of praise to our children without principles, but that we should give children appropriate encouragement and praise based on their development and progress.
For example, when a child makes small progress, we can praise him; when a child is very interested in something, we can encourage him...
The third sentence - "No matter what, I will do it" Support you! "
If you say to your children "No matter what, I will support you!" This sentence can bring great trust and support to your children.
Everyone desires the trust of others, and children are no exception.
Parents’ trust is the greatest support and affirmation for their children.
For this reason, in the process of accompanying our children to grow, we must give them the confidence and strength to move forward from beginning to end. We should not give up our support for our children and become sad because of some reason in the middle, such as the child failing. Scolding children for not being strong.
On the contrary, the more it is at this moment, the more we should encourage our children: "It doesn't matter if you fail, we can try it again. No matter what, our whole family will support you..." Parents' trust and Support can rekindle children's confidence in resisting setbacks, and the distance between parents and children will also become closer.
The fourth sentence - "This is so interesting and wonderful!"
If you say to your child "This is so interesting and wonderful!" This sentence can protect your child's curiosity about the world to the greatest extent.
I believe many people have had similar experiences. When children find something interesting or fun, they will surround us excitedly and shout: "Mom, Dad, look..."
Different responses will have completely different consequences. result. Generally speaking, a negative response from parents may dispel the child's curiosity, while a positive response can protect the child's curiosity.
Therefore, when children share the joy of discovering the world with us, no matter how busy we are, we must face the children's eager eyes with a positive and responsive attitude.
The fifth sentence - "You must do this because... but..."
If you say to your child, "You must do this because... but..." this sentence can calm the child's anxiety. Restless heart.
Children will inevitably make mistakes in their daily lives. When faced with their children making mistakes, many parents will lose control of their emotions and reprimand their children loudly. This not only does not help, but also triggers rebellious psychology in the children.
If we tell the child in a calmer tone, for example, we can say, "You just did this because you were very angry about something, but the way you solved the problem was not the best. Please come up with something." A better way to solve the problem, please tell me later..."
This way of speaking not only does not arouse children's rebellious psychology, but also makes it easier for children to accept the guidance of their parents and establish a relationship between parents and children. Establish good communication relationship.
The sixth sentence - "I admire you very much, I think you do better than many people in this matter..."
If you say to your child, "I admire you very much, I think you do this better than many people..." Do better than many people..." This sentence can stimulate children's greater motivation to grow.
Children need to be sincerely appreciated by their parents, which can inspire them to move forward with strength and confidence.
I have deeply felt this in my family education practice. When a child is doing something that you think is incredible, we should not question whether the child can do it, but should use an appreciative perspective to give the child greater hope. Motivation and freedom to grow.
For example, when my daughter tried to write children's poems for the first time, although she wrote a childish poem, I told her: You wrote wonderfully! Many people may not be able to write such good poems. I appreciate your poems very much...
I have always had an unchanging attitude of appreciation for my daughter, which greatly inspired her to continue to create and learn. This has provided her with In the third and fourth grades, I wrote a large number of excellent modern poems, metrical poems, ancient poems, classical Chinese novels and lyrics, which laid a good foundation.
Conclusion
Sometimes a parent’s inadvertent words may affect their children’s life. Therefore, we must not underestimate the daily communication between parents and children.
From these six sentences that children love to hear most, we can actually see the deepest desires of children: to be respected, accepted, appreciated, encouraged, recognized, supported, understood, trusted, etc. by their parents, to name a few. foot.
Parents’ kind words are like spring breeze and rain. I hope that every child can be like a spring breeze while getting along with his parents and grow into an outstanding child.
