Qianqian is 4 years old this year and has been in the city from her hometown for almost 2 months. Qianqian is usually taciturn. Every time a child approaches her or asks her what, Qianqian will blush and be nervous, and her voice is very small when answering , but once she encounters a question that she cannot answer, she will cry silently. No matter how the mother encourages her, the child's nervousness and fear has not changed. Therefore, uncles and aunts will deliberately stop asking Qianqian questions, and the friends gradually forget Qianqian.
During the conversation with my mother, I found that Qianqian's original social ability was not as bad as it is now. caused the elderly in their hometown to ask Qianqian questions. Qianqian's answer was wrong, which caused everyone to burst into laughter. Qianqian cried all day . During the process, her mother comforted Qianqian, but Qianqian did not stop crying. She lost her patience and shouted at Qianqian. From then on, Qianqian became even more timid and no longer talked to unfamiliar people. Qianqian didn't answer anything others asked her.
The causes of shyness and social disorders are actually quite complicated
Some are genetic factors, some are acquired factors such as psychological factors. Acquired factors account for the main part of the reasons for children's social withdrawal.
1. Improper education in family and living environment. Nowadays, many elderly people or parents like to compare their children, such as: "Come on, recite a poem for uncles and aunts," "Come on, dance a dance for grandparents to see." Sometimes the children are unwilling, and parents insist on forcing her to do things she doesn't like. If the children perform well, they say they are awesome and amazing. When the children are unwilling to perform, they criticize their children for being timid and unrighteous. Gradually, the children will be more afraid of performing in front of others under this language, because they will be criticized if they don't do well.
2. Frustration experience. When interacting with others, the child is hit, ridiculed, scolded, etc., and the parents do not accept it. They do not provide psychological counseling to the child and allow it to develop, resulting in the child's inferiority complex and social withdrawal.
3. Parents’ own personality. Children are shy, timid, and not good at communication. Some of them are derived from the personality of their parents. If parents are introverted, their children will also inherit the introverted personality of their parents. What parents should do is to help their children integrate into the collective little by little, encourage their children, and not let their children develop a negative mentality.
When children have begun to experience social withdrawal, parents should take measures in a timely manner to help their children get out of this obstacle.
1. Enhance your child's self-confidence
Parents should build their children's self-confidence in their daily lives and let their children do some simple things to enhance their self-confidence. Doing housework is a very good training method, such as helping mothers throw garbage; when going out to buy things, they deliberately can't hold them and let their children help you. When faced with shy and timid children, parents should respect their children's wishes, accept their children's emotions, and get affirmation from their parents. If a child can be confident enough, he can be generous and decent in communication.
2. Participate in collective life as soon as possible
Peer relationship is an important existence in children's life. Having a good peer relationship can greatly improve children's social and language, so parents should let their children integrate into collective as soon as possible. For example, when the child is timid and dare not walk over, parents can accompany the child to approach them little by little, and let the child observe their relationship patterns and language communication beside him. After observing for a while, ask the child whether he wants to join them. If the child is willing to join, parents will be the child's "mouth" and let the child play with the child. When the child cannot respond accordingly, parents will provide timely assistance to avoid the child's frustration and lead to the child's rejection of participating in collective activities.
3. Help children master social skills
Mastering good social skills can help children gain a place in group activities.Parents should spend more time cultivating social skills to help their children master good social skills . For example, learning to wait quietly, learn to take turns, and learn to share are all things that friends need to use in games. If children cannot learn these skills, they will reject children, which is not conducive to children's social development.
4. Provide more opportunities to get along with people
For children with poor social skills, Parents can let their children contact their peers more, such as holding parties at home, inviting children who often play together to play at home, let the children act as the little master . As they gradually become familiar with the children, the children will naturally want to enter their activities little by little. During the process, the child is not forced to say hello to his peers, but if the child responds to others or takes the initiative to interact, parents should encourage the child in a timely manner to build up her self-confidence in the process of interacting with others.
5. Do more activities that children like
Everything must be carried out when the children like it. The whole process must be progressive step by step. Don’t rush it, create a familiar and pleasant environment for the children and slowly improve the children’s social withdrawal behavior. For example, if children draw well, we can organize more drawing activities to let children play with their families and friends.
Social withdrawal is a common phenomenon in the genealogy children. Some children usually behave normally, but once they are in a strange environment or group activities, they will be very timid and shy. It is difficult for children with social withdrawal to integrate into the group and will encounter obstacles in the future when going to school.
What are the doubts about social withdrawal behavior? Welcome to leave a message and comment, and Dad from the competition will answer you one by one!
