As I said before, self-awareness education must be carried out sooner or later, but the timing must be determined according to the different temperaments of the children. The effect of such education is clear at a glance. However, in order not to lose sight of the most important thing in a difficult situation, let us talk about it again with an example.
If the irritable child in your family destroys everything he sees, don't be angry. Put the things he can destroy high up so that he can't reach them. When he breaks the furniture at home, don't rush to replace it. Let him experience the inconvenience of not having furniture. If he breaks the window in his room, don't rush to replace it with a new one and let the wind blow it. Don't be afraid of him catching a cold. Only by letting him catch a cold will he be able to restrain himself. Don't complain about the troubles he creates, but you have to let him feel the troubles. You end up asking someone to fix the window, but don't say a word. If he breaks it again, try another approach: don't be angry, just tell him "these windows are mine, I spent the effort to fix them, and I can't let you break them." After that, you put him in a small dark room. If he still makes trouble, ignore him. Before long, he will be begging and complaining. If the servant went over, he would ask the servant to let him out. Tell the servant not to make excuses about why he can't be let out. Just say, "If it were my window, I wouldn't want it to be broken." Then walk away. Let him stay in the dark room for a few hours until he gets tired of it and can remember it. Then send someone over to talk to him and let him go free, but he can't break your windows again. In this way, he can accept it. He comes over to you. After you go over, as soon as he says this, you agree immediately and tell him: "This is a great idea. It's good for both of us. Why didn't you think of it earlier?" After that, don't do it either. Ask him if he has any other comments, don't hold him to his word, just give him a happy hug and take him back to his room as if once you've made a deal, you can't break it. Using this approach, how do you think he would view conventions and their uses? In this world, if there is a child (in this case, a child who has not been spoiled) who deliberately breaks a window after this, it means that I am wrong.
gives this example to let everyone understand that we cannot punish for the sake of punishment. Children should understand that these punishments are the natural result of their wrong doings. Don't blame them for lying, don't punish them just for lying, let them know that they have to bear the consequences of lying. For example, if he tells the truth in the future, no one will believe him; even if he has not done anything bad, others will accuse him, etc. However, we need to make it clear to our children what a white lie is.
There are two types of lies: one is lying about what has been done in the past, and the other is lying about future obligations. The first type of lie is: denying something he has done, or insisting on saying that he has done something he has not done. In fact, he knows that the reality is not like this, but he says it in another way. The second type of lie is: promising someone something he cannot do himself, expressing a point of view that is contrary to his intention. Sometimes these two kinds of lies are mixed together. Here, I will only talk about the difference between these two kinds of lies.
A person who often needs help from others and often helps others is not very good at lying. On the contrary, he will clarify the truth and avoid mistakes that may hurt him. Therefore, we can clearly see that lying is not a child's nature, but lies in order to obey others, because obeying others is a painful thing, and they can only do it in disguise, and they also think that instead of exposing the truth in the future, And being punished is worse than telling a lie and getting ready-made benefits. If it is a natural and free education, why do children lie? If you don't cause trouble, punish him, or force him, why doesn't he tell you like he told his friends? If I admit it to you, the consequences will not be more serious than if I admit it to my friends.
The two parties have agreed on what to do and what not to do, which damages freedom and is not a natural state, so lying because of obligations is even more unnatural.Moreover, the promises made by children are themselves invalid, because they have simple ideas and can only see what is in front of them. When they make the promise, they cannot understand the meaning of the promise. As soon as they learn to lie, they start making promises because all they think about is how to get out of the predicament at hand. They are willing to try any method that will not have an immediate impact: whatever they promise to do in the future is empty words; their imagination is not yet developed and they cannot imagine what they will look like in the future. If they were asked to promise to jump from the window tomorrow in order to avoid a whipping or to give them sweets, they would immediately agree. Therefore, legally, a child's agreement does not count. If strict parents and teachers insist on making promises from their children, it is only because they have to do it regardless of whether they promise or not.
Children did not lie when they made a promise, because they did not understand what they were promising. However, the situation would be different if they did not keep their word. At this time, it is considered that they lied, because they remember that they made such a promise. However, they do not know the importance of keeping their promises. They do not have the ability to look far into the future and cannot foresee the consequences of events. Even if they broke their promise, their behavior was consistent with their age.
I believe that children should learn from practice. I want them to be honest and honest, and I don’t want them to be knowledgeable; I don’t want them to be timid, lest they deceive others; I don’t want them to make promises, lest they break them. promise. If Emile did something bad while I was away and I couldn't find out, I would never blame him, and I wouldn't ask him: "Did you do it?" If I asked him like this, he would only deny it. , what else will you answer? If he is particularly stubborn and I have to make an agreement with him, I have to be careful and let him bring up the appointment, not me. When he brings it up, I will make him feel that if he abides by the agreement, he will get great benefits immediately; if he does not abide by the agreement, I will also make him feel that the pain caused by lying is inevitable for the development of the matter and is not caused by me. revenge. But I didn't need to use this method at all, because I knew that it would take a long time for Emile to understand what lying was. After he found out, he must have wondered very much what good it would do him to lie. So, the more I can protect his beautiful life from others, the more I can help him understand the dangers of lying.
If we are not in a hurry to educate our children well, we may not force them to do things, and we can make demands on them at the right time. We must believe that as long as we do not spoil our children, we will be able to educate them well.
