Letter from parents:
Teacher Lei Lei, regarding the issue of children playing the cello , it has always been a problem in my family, and I would like to ask you for advice.
The child chose the cello if she wanted to join the school orchestra. At that time, she was told that she would follow the rules of the cello.
However, during the actual process of playing the piano, her hand shape and posture were always wrong. She tried to change it, but it was wrong again after 2 minutes.
It’s useless to explain, and it’s useless to train. I can’t persist for more than 2 minutes. A semester has passed, and it’s still like this.
The school orchestra teacher did not care about the posture problem. The cello teacher she found outside said that she had never seen such a difficult student to teach and stopped teaching her.
I found another teacher for her, and she could barely continue learning, because the teacher didn't pay much attention to posture issues.
In fact, the school orchestra is loose and there is no pressure. She does not practice very seriously and her progress is very slow.
I told her not to mention how many songs she could play, but if her posture was always wrong, she would stop playing. She disagreed and said she must have special skills.
I thought about it carefully. Before in Beijing, she was very good at drawing, handicrafts, writing, and science projects in school. But after coming to Sanya, the school did not pay attention to science courses.
The painting teacher only asked her to draw neatly and did not approve of her creation; without a good writing teacher, her handwriting was a mess.
She wanted to find a place where she could show herself, and the cello was the best choice she found. There were only two cellists in the whole school, so she could attract attention without putting in too much effort.
Teacher Lei Lei, my problem now is that playing the cello often leads to quarrels between us.
I can't accept that a person wants to do something but doesn't do it seriously, especially if he knows the rules but doesn't follow them.
The child thinks that playing the cello itself is not something she likes, so she just takes it easy.
So I want to ask you, how to alleviate this conflict between us?
Teacher Lei Lei replied:
Dear, regarding this matter, let’s first look at what is the ultimate goal of children playing the cello?
The first option:
If our goal is for the child to take a professional route in playing the cello, then we must require her to strictly implement standard hand shapes and postures.
At the same time, this is also a person's attitude towards doing things, either not doing it, or doing it seriously.
If the child does not agree, then we will not allow the child to learn. The outcome of the
plan may be that either the children really stop learning, or they continue to have conflicts with their parents like now.
The second option:
If our goal is just to let the children have a favorite interest here, to put it more bluntly, it means to have an opportunity to show off.
She doesn't plan to study hard in it, and she doesn't plan to make a living from it in the future. She just wants to be happy, so let her be.
If this is the case, then we should consider the parent-child relationship as the main factor, that is, you know that her gestures are not right, but you do not need to forcefully correct them, as long as she has fun.
This is the same as writing. I know I should write well, but when I am in a bad mood, I don’t want to write well. When I feel better one day, I will be willing to write well.
In other words, if she really wants to learn the cello well in the future, if your parent-child relationship improves and her mood improves, she may be willing to take the initiative to practice her gestures more accurately.
The parent-child relationship is the prerequisite for everything. If the parent-child relationship is not good enough, the more you talk, the more disgusted and rebellious the child will be!
So, dear, first think about the ultimate goal of your child learning this, and then we will see which solution to deal with it.
I know that if you choose the second option, you will feel that you can't get over it because it does not conform to the attitude and principles of our generation.
But with children at such an age and personality, we cannot confront them head-on. The tougher your attitude, the stronger the child's resistance will be, which will only lead to constant conflicts between parents and children.
So when something happens, our parents must be the first to soften and bow their heads.
Looking back, she thought that if she could not practice the cello well or had incorrect gestures, it would not have any impact on her life.
Therefore, when parents let their children go, they are also letting themselves go!
I am Mr. Lei, the academic coach. I have been in the education industry for many years. I have learned family education theory first-hand, and learned score-raising methods to help children improve their academic performance and help parents solve educational problems.
If the article inspires you, remember to like, follow, and forward it to friends in need.
