Yesterday, my son and his wife tutored their granddaughter. The granddaughter is in kindergarten and has not yet entered elementary school.
’s granddaughter is quite smart. She hasn’t even gone to elementary school yet, but she already knows two to three thousand words. We don’t know exactly how she got to know her, but she definitely didn’t get to know her through tutoring from her parents.
Yesterday, they were tutoring the children on the Ten Methods of Borrowing. When they saw some graffiti on the children's books, they began to teach them a lesson.
has been teaching me a lesson for more than half an hour, and I am still teaching him a lesson, and my eyes are still full of tears. This happens almost every day. I really can’t stand it anymore, because I have always had different education methods from them, and it’s really uncomfortable for me to listen to it.
wanted to express my own opinions, but I was afraid that it would not be effective, so I sent them a paragraph on how to educate children through WeChat, including the four greatest educational principles in the world.
1. Fish Tank Rules
Tropical goldfish kept in a fish tank are three inches long. No matter how long they are kept, the goldfish will never grow. However, if you put this kind of goldfish in a pond, the original three-inch goldfish can grow to one foot in two months.
is the same for children's education. Children need free space to grow. The protection of parents is like a fish tank. Children will never grow up into big fish in their parents' fish tank.
If you want your children to grow up healthy and strong, you must give them space to move freely and not let them be restricted to a small "fish tank" provided by their parents. As society progresses and knowledge increases, parents should restrain their own thoughts and impulses and give their children room to grow freely.
2, The Law of Wolf Nature
Wolves are the most curious animals in the world. They do not take anything for granted, but prefer to study and experience it personally. The wonders and novelties of nature always amaze wolves. Wolves are always interested in the surrounding environment, so they can continue to find food in the environment, understand dangers, and survive effectively.
Therefore, in order to cultivate children's super learning ability, we must cultivate children's curiosity about the world, let them observe life carefully, and use interest as a teacher for their learning. Such children will be bright stars in their future lives, constantly having new ideas and inspiration for work.
3, South Wind Effect
North Wind and South Wind made a bet to see who was more powerful. They decided to compete with who could take off a pedestrian's coat. No matter how strong the north wind is, pedestrians just wrap their clothes tighter and tighter; while the south wind only blows gently, and people are so hot that they open their coats.
The South Wind Effect tells people that tolerance is a force stronger than punishment. The same is true for educating children. Parents who blindly criticize their children will eventually find that their children are increasingly unable to listen to them.
Every child is likely to make mistakes. Parents should tolerate their children's shortcomings, deal with various problems that arise in daily life objectively, rationally, and scientifically. While being considerate of their children, they should start from themselves to improve themselves. Only in this way can they make mistakes. Able to educate children better.
4, Rosenthal effect
Rosenthal is an American psychologist. In 1966, he conducted an experiment on students' performance expectations. After taking a test in a class, he handed a list of "most promising" to the principal. The principal handed this list to the head teacher of this class. Eight months later, when Rosenthal and his assistant came to the class again, the scores of the students on the list had improved significantly. The secret to the improvement of
students' grades is very simple, because the teacher pays more attention to them.
Every child may become an extraordinary genius, but the realization of this possibility depends on whether parents and teachers can love, expect, and cherish these children like geniuses. The direction of a child's growth depends on the expectations of parents and teachers. Simply put, what kind of person you expect your child to be is what kind of person your child may become.
After I sent it out, I just wanted them to take a look and check whether my education methods were correct, and I wanted them to make some changes. Unexpectedly, my son responded to the message.
"Dad, I have a bad personality and the way I educate my children is wrong. This is a fact, but I cannot educate her alone. She is not my child alone. We have to teach her together, but the current situation in our family is that no one talks about her. , no one taught her, and I didn’t think about how she was. If she made a mistake, she would have to teach her a lesson. This is my education method. Dad, you and mother have been teachers all your lives. You have your own education methods, so use your own way. Teach her that this is not a contradiction. "
This clearly means that she doesn't feel that she is wrong! The daughter-in-law also came with the news.
"What should I say when she makes a mistake? I don't know. The first time she made a mistake, I talked to her and reasoned with her. The second time she made a mistake, I told her the harm of doing so. The third time and the fourth time , she is also a grown-up child. ”
” doesn’t take good care of her own things, and she picks up books randomly. ”
” I haven’t picked up a page of my own books since I was a child. My elementary school books were still neat when I found them. Even after graduating from junior high school, she can lend her books to her neighbors. "
"Look at the few books she has now. Not a single page is neat, and not a single page of the books she has studied is complete. "
" "If she draws a flower or a doll, she is showing off her nature and likes art, but if she scribbles on the book with a pen, instead of criticizing her, you encourage her?"
The son continued: "What a great page. The questions are ridiculous. How can I encourage this? Nowadays, they are talking about test papers. Dad, if you are her teacher and the child you teach makes the questions in the homework book like this, how should you educate her? "
" I want to cultivate her learning ability. I ignored her and told her that she had not finished the ten or so math problems in half an hour. Once she knew it, she would do it immediately. She had a good attitude, but she didn't write a word. "
" How can we educate our family? Children not only don’t care about books, but they also don’t like to clean and tidy up. This is their nature. It’s hard to change their nature. "
The two of them attacked me fiercely, as if I said something wrong. what.
I thought about it and wanted to say something to them, but I thought it would be of no use? Our education methods are inherently different, and they still don’t admit that they are wrong.
So he sent the content he originally wrote to them to himself, so he can take a good look at it.
"To be honest, education is a difficult thing. To educate a child well, this process is quite complicated and requires a lot of patience. I have taught all my life, and I dare not say that I can educate children, but I We know that a method that focuses on teaching is definitely not enough. Sometimes, teaching by example is better than teaching by words. A good teacher in the school should be good at guiding and teaching students in accordance with their aptitude. Method. "
" said this not to prevent children from being taught, but it must not be based on teaching, especially teaching children the same way as teaching adults, as that will not be effective. Nothing can be done without training. In the past, I often told young teachers that if there is no good way, just keep an eye on the child. Keeping an eye on the child means not giving him time to make mistakes, and our children will develop habits over time. , all you need is to keep an eye on her. As for whether she will wander off and make some small moves during this process, I think she will definitely do it. But these are normal. Think about it, she is a kindergarten child, not what you said. How old is she? Her sustained attention cannot be long. We must allow children to make mistakes. Adults must understand that making mistakes is very normal. What we should do is how to guide her to try not to make mistakes. Instead of blaming her for her mistakes. "
" Don't be too demanding about your children. Our children are already very good. Think about it, is it the result of tutoring that she knows so many words? Don’t be impatient, she hasn’t gone to elementary school yet?”
“Of course, the more relaxed the management of her, the better. We should manage her as she should and let nature take its course, just like treating a sapling. We are just tailors and the growth is still there. You have to rely on yourself."
Education is a complex process, and it is also a step-by-step process. You cannot encourage your child to succeed just because you are eager to achieve success. This will not yield good results.
I just saw a news on the headlines, saying that Lugu, Changsha, Hunan, When a Ms. Chen was tutoring her 8-year-old son with homework, she saw that her son was not very active. Ms. Chen suddenly became angry and had difficulty breathing. Her limbs twitched and her hands became like chicken claws.
After being sent to the hospital, she passed the examination. It was found that Ms. Chen breathed faster due to excitement, the concentration of oxygen in her body was too high, and the concentration of carbon dioxide decreased, causing hyperventilation syndrome. This phenomenon is called respiratory alkalosis. We have never heard of this disease. Yes, but it was Ms. Chen who got it, so people should pay close attention to it.
You said that you almost died because of tutoring children. Why is it so terrible? So when we tutor children, You must choose the right method, consider the problem from the child's perspective, and never dare to ask too much of your child.
Friends, have you encountered the same problem?
