Zhou Guoping wrote in the book "The most important thing in life is to act from the heart": "Everyone has an era in his life when he lives according to his true temperament, and that is childhood."

Zhou Guoping wrote in the book "The most important thing in life is to have a clear mind":

"Everyone has an era in his life when he lives according to his true temperament, and that is childhood."

Children are innocent and do not restrain themselves. .

He is enjoying life when he is alive,

It is a pity,

not every child is so lucky,

can live under the sun, running and laughing as much as he wants,

For example, Taiwanese child star Ji Baoru .

She debuted at the age of 5, and sang the theme song of the cartoon film "Wanli Searching for Mother" at the age of 9, "I want you, mom, I miss you, mom..." With her cute appearance and sweet voice, Ji Baoru became a household name.

She has filmed more than 200 works and has been popular throughout Taiwan and Southeast Asia.

But who would have thought that,

, a little star shining in front of the camera,

was deeply hurt by his original family and faced a childhood of being rejected...

A childhood of not being treated well,

It is a lifelong regret

In 1962, Taiwan An ordinary family welcomed a pair of lovely twin babies, the girl among whom was Ji Baoru.

Parents have serious feudal ideas. They believe that girls in "dragon and phoenix twins" represent "unlucky". Just leave her to her grandma to raise.

Grandma didn't care for her at all, and even regarded her as a burden and used fists and kicks.

Due to the long-term lack of father's love and mother's love, she became timid and timid, and obeyed her grandmother's words, because any resistance would be severely beaten. Her entire childhood was shrouded in the shadow of her grandmother.

The first step in inner growth is the family of origin, and the most important thing here is the relationship with parents. Parents' love for their children is the most primitive force and is the child's heaven and earth.

The lack of family affection became a root and was buried in her young heart.

As he got older, people around him often praised Ji Baoru for "cute" and "sweet voice". By chance, Ji Baoru was spotted by a talent scout from an entertainment company.

During her first audition, she was asked to cry within ten seconds. The producer asked her: "What would happen to you if your mother was gone?" The next second, she burst into tears and was very emotional.

From then on, she entered the public eye and became a well-known child star in Taiwan.

She was only five years old that year.

In that era, she often played some miserable roles.

plays the role of a child who lacks maternal love since childhood in "小matchmaker".

In "Wine", she plays the daughter whose parents are at odds with each other.

There are many difficult scenes to perform, but she performed them extremely smoothly.

"It turns out that the childhood experience of hardship and displacement has long been brewing into an inner drama. It is just a way of venting the suppressed emotions in the subconscious through acting."

Her acting skills are natural and lifelike, and she is called a "genius child star" by the media. ".

But life did not go smoothly. On the contrary, that was the beginning of Ji Baoru's nightmare.

Her schedule is fully booked, like a puppet on strings, and she has become a "cash cow" for her family.

As he grew older, Ji Baoru grew taller and his secondary sexual characteristics also began to develop.

In order to make her career as a child star go longer, her grandmother tried to keep her in a "baby state" by forcibly binding her breasts and even giving her growth-suppressing injections... Half a year later, Ji Baoru stopped growing.

She will stay at 13 years old forever, trapped in a body of 149cm.

She once revealed in an interview that she had "particularly low self-esteem and had wanted to commit suicide many times." She sang about her love for her mother in the song, looking happy and carefree, but only she knew that she had never enjoyed the warmth of family.

The song is sung to others, but it cannot comfort herself.

However, the rebellious tentacles are cautiously testing, and she begins to look forward to the redemption of love.

Married rebelliously and fell into another abyss

At the age of 117, Ji Baoru met Yu Long in the entertainment industry. She had been short of love since she was a child and was full of affection for this considerate man. She quickly fell in love and was determined to marry him. .

Seeing that the "money tree" was about to be poached, the whole family did not agree with her marriage, and her father even slapped her backhand, which left a mark on her face and a slap in her heart. Ji Baoru finally realized that she no longer had to compromise.

took nothing with her and left without looking back.

For the first time, she had the courage to resist the shackles of her family.

After getting married, Ji Baoru retired from the entertainment industry. Longing for family companionship, she gave birth to three children one after another, and lived a life of caring for her husband and raising her children.

originally thought that she, who had been oppressed for more than ten years, would finally be relieved after all her hardships;

originally thought that by escaping from the control of her native family, she would be able to reap her own happiness.

However, the short-term warmth bloomed like fireworks, and after a moment, what was left was coldness and darkness.

My husband had an extramarital affair and lost all his family wealth.

Bad luck ensued. Her husband was accidentally killed in a sea of ​​fire, leaving her and her three children alone.

Regardless of the situation, her parents-in-law insisted that Ji Baoru had killed their son, so they spoke harshly to her and kicked her out.

Under the pressure, she drank all day long to drown her sorrows, living in a muddle and struggling to survive.

She hates everyone, but she hates herself the most.

She gave herself a verdict: "The word 'Ji Baoru' is a mistake and a useless life."

Because she had suffered the cold eyes of her parents and the alienation of her family since she was a child, Ji Baoru has always cherished a deep feeling. She lives with a deep feeling of being unwelcome, and even her own existence is considered redundant and inappropriate...

This is the imprint given to her by her native family, and this kind of harm has been engraved in her bones.

Naturally, she is not a qualified mother.

She often beat, scolded, and punched her children. In such a growing environment, Ji Baoru's eldest son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder ; her second son took the wrong path of drug abuse.

She "revenges" the harm she suffered on her child intact.

Carl Jung once said that the greater the influence of the original family on a child, the more likely the child will observe and treat life according to the worldview of his childhood when he grows up.

Because our personality, emotional patterns, and behavioral patterns largely depend on the family environment in which we grew up, as well as the memories and beliefs brought to us by the experiences around us.

In a sense, destiny is dominated by the imprint of the original family.

It turns out that the original family she was eager to escape from had never left her.

When she suddenly woke up:

, she discovered that only by facing her own heart can she get up from the suffering and achieve self-salvation.

Facing the heart,

A journey of self-redemption

The imprint left by the native family has a profound impact on the entire life.

The awakening after adulthood begins with paying attention to inner growth.

By chance, Ji Baoru came into contact with the influence of faith. From then on, she began to face her heart and resolve the trauma.

Faith is like a shooting star, cutting through the night sky and illuminating her dark and gloomy world.

She suddenly realized:

If you want to escape the harm of your original family, you can actually create a new circuit - not to escape, nor to copy the inherent pattern, but to face your heart.

There is a concept in Jungian psychology called "shadow". The psychology that cannot be shown in the sun will eventually hide in the shadow, but it will not disappear. When it cannot be suppressed, it will form another destructive form. way appears.

On the contrary, when this part of the emotion is illuminated by the light of awareness, it can be resolved.

It is precisely because she chose to "see" bravely and open up the inner space that light can come in, awakening the power and freedom in her heart, and awakening the ability to love.

She began to learn to be a mother, trying to make up for the mistakes she had made in the past, expressing love frankly, accepting the facts, asking for forgiveness, and compensating the late maternal love to her children.

It took 6 years for the relationship between mother and son to improve.

Now Ji Baoru is 60 years old. After experiencing the ups and downs of life, she has completely let go of all resentment, actively participates in public welfare undertakings, uses her own strength to contribute to society, and allows more people to find the meaning of life.

Just like what she wrote in her autobiography:

No matter how miserable life is,

as long as there is a willing heart,

will definitely have the opportunity to be reborn ~

She also returned to the entertainment industry and went on a show to tell her own experience.

She chose to see these pains and heal them!

Reconcile with the past and reconcile with yourself.

She said: "The process of regaining self-worth bit by bit is like a broken life being picked up piece by piece."

She has been with suffering all her life, sinking and decadent in suffering, and then climbing out of it tenaciously. rise.

Life is like a journey of self-redemption.

On the road of life, everyone must experience sadness and confusion alone in order to see the truth of life and grow.

But how to awaken this power of seeing?

. Change the perspective dimension

What determines us is not the past experience and the experience itself, but the meaning we give to this experience. In other words, our " attribution to method" is very important.

What kind of meaning is given to past events and what perspective is used to interpret it? This is the choice faced by "you now":

If you focus on the pain itself, it will continue to strengthen the victim's role perception; if you focus on how past experience inspires When you grow, you have the power to turn pain into the nutrition of life.

Maintaining the role of a victim will not help solve the problem. It will also be bound to the influence of the past and it will be difficult to achieve happiness. You must know that the wounds of the original family can also become a ladder for spiritual growth.

. Accept the gift of life

There are no perfect parents in this world. What we have to do is to accept the gift of life, activate the power of gratitude, and surrender to the source of life.

Parents are an integral part of our destiny. To accept them is to accept ourselves, our own shortcomings, our own history, and our limitations as human beings.

When a person begins to let go of resentment, be grateful, and love hard, life can bloom layer by layer, bringing people a sense of belonging, security, and good luck.

. Learn to be self-responsible

Reflecting on the original family is to untie the constraints and inspire growth, not to blame, "attribute" but not "blame", What we really need to cultivate is the way of self-growth, the attitude of self-responsibility and Ability to make independent judgments.

Love requires courage and commitment to let your own energy, emotions, and patterns return to their original place. Give responsibilities to others, maintain inner boundaries, do not assume certain responsibilities that belong to your parents, and take responsibility for your own destiny.

In the long process of growing up, everyone has more or less trauma. All personality defects or emotional disorders cannot be traced back to childhood or attributed to the family of origin.

As an independent, mature individual, we have the ability to do our own life tasks.

I believe that deep in everyone’s heart, there is a powerful power of self-healing.

Change a new perspective to view trauma; change a new circuit to heal trauma.

Each of us has the ability to make peace with past pain.

planning | Yutian

editing | Liuji